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Posts Tagged ‘thoughts and ramblings’


That’s  right, I am just borrowing the title from a book I have just read.

Have you ever chosen a book because the title and the book cover make you smile and make you remember something deep, memories that you treasure in your heart? I did just that, three days ago. In between re-reading inspirational and uplifting books for the season of Lent, I managed to find a lovely book by Kelly Moran. It is my first time to read a book from this author. Inspiring romance books are not really my cup of tea but I got curious that it received mostly five stars on Goodreads.  An easy read, amazing and heartwarming tale of  friendship, family relationships,  and getting on with life despite all the setbacks, finding love and meaning  in the end.  I don’t normally post a book review when I blog about a certain book that I’ve enjoyed reading, it’s for you to find out.

A friend once told me that when a book makes you cry then it must really be good. I love the poetic style of the author, the play with words  – I can almost imagine those intense moments, I can almost touch the pages of the family albums and commune with nature  the way it was told in the story. It’s actually one of my best reads so far for my 2015 reading challenge.  And as usual, I had my journal ready to write some quotes that I liked.

Don’t let the past get in the way of the now.

How many times has the past hindered us from making decisions in our life? How many times have we let the past rule our present life?  Learning to let go and learning to move on might not be that easy but sometimes we just have to do it for our peace of mind.

Home is where they love you and care for you. Home is where you go back to when there’s nothing left and you want to find peace again.

What a difference a moment can make.

Speaking of the 50 books I wanted to read this year, with no particular author in mind and no particular book on my list, I have just finished 12. Next in line though are memoirs and the books I have of Mary Oliver.  I want to reread Randy Pausch’ The Last Lecture, it inspired me when I was undergoing chemotherapy. I want to get reacquainted again with Mitch Albom’s Tuesdays With Morrie. My former surgical oncologist saw a copy I read at the hospital when I underwent surgery more than five years ago and he said it was a good book so I gave him a copy. My cardiologist who was a very caring doctor too saw my pile  and told me I had good choices of books to read. I gave him one too. They are both doctors so they could relate to what ALS is all about.

I just love books. The solitary hours are more meaningful when books take you to places you’ve never been, people you’ve never met and a world probably more interesting than your own.

When the leaves stop falling, you find love.

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The other night we just had dinner when Mom got my eyeglasses, perched it on her nose and said “lumalabo na paningin ko” meaning that her eyesight is getting poor. I laughed not because of what she said but she clearly forgot that she was wearing her own pair. So I told her that was mine, she looked at me, smiled and said, “sinusubukan ko lang, nawawala yung salamin ko” (she is just trying if it fits because hers is missing….hahaha). I removed both pairs from her eyes and told her that she was wearing it all along. She scratched her head and said sometimes she becomes forgetful.

She is temporarily staying with us, haven’t seen her for the last six months and my younger brother brought her here last Sunday. She insists she’s not yet “ulyanin” (loosely translated that means having Alzheimer’s disease….seriously). She is turning 86 in two months. I suggested that she stay with us for a few months but she insisted that she won’t be able to exercise when she is here.  In her language, exercise means sweeping the yard of endless dried leaves every morning, playing cards with some of our older relatives, planting some vegetables near the house, walking around our place in the province to look at what tree is bearing fruit  or what should need trimming.

Sometimes I wonder, I’d be so much blessed if I could reach her age still hale and hearty with just joint pains and sometimes elevated blood pressure. My brother said as long as she eats well, there is nothing to worry about.

Oh, she still watches  her precious evening soap operas on television :)  As she is short of hearing (her right ear can’t distinguish sounds now)  I have to set it a little louder for her to hear.

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I am getting tired of all the news about what happened in Maguindanao last January 25, 2015. I have watched the Senate and Congress’ hearings since Monday, watched the Moro Islamic Liberation Front (MILF) spokesperson Iqbal still denying that it was the MILF who did the massacre on the 44 Special Armed Forces of our Philippine National Police. I watched the video uploaded by a heartless person showing someone who fired his gun at close range at a hapless SAF member who was on the ground fighting for his life.

What more do you need? Iqbal says that the Bangsamoro is not part of the Philippines  and yet asking the government to sign the Bangsamoro Basic Law (BBL)for the former’s benefits, then the Philippines would be called their mother country. He said that the MILF group would remain revolutionary until the BBL is signed.  Oh yes, as I understand only for the benefit of the MILF, initially to the tune of  P70B (that is spelled 70 billion pesos) to be shouldered by the Filipino taxpayers. Are they crazy? Are our government negotiators acting in favor of the revolutionary movement? And if the BBL would be signed into law, what then? How can we be sure that they would lay down their arms once its done?  I think  it is detrimental to the whole country allowing these groups to rule Mindanao. If they consider themselves Filipinos, they should abide by it, pay their taxes,  work the land they are claiming to be theirs and not part of the Philippines.They have the means to buy arms but they ask the government to help them just like that? They do not want to be called terrorists but they are doing otherwise.

You are talking of peace but  we are  seeking justice for our SAF heroes.  How can you talk of peace when you are pointing your guns at us? How can you talk of peace when you are violating a basic human right to live?  If my small voice could be heard, all I want to say is this, “lay down your arms first then let us talk of peace”.

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I lost my muse.

Seriously though, for two days, I was a bit busy gardening and it was not even half-way done. I wonder  when I’ll be able to finish , what  with listening to the news or watching the news and reading in between. A lot of things are happening in our country. It is barely two weeks since millions of people went to the streets and shouted Pope Francis’ name with joy and gladness but now I think, people are divided.

I don’t normally do political blogs except those times when elections are coming near. I am getting tired of all these brouhaha happening here. Blogging about it alone would tax your strength. People have become self-righteous and opinionated and as always hiding behind social media. They act like they are so perfect and could run the government perfectly too. They have lost the meaning of the word RESPECT –  respect for others, respect for authority, respect for themselves. It is so sad really. We have become a nation of judgmental people.  I will just pray  for those whose opinions and ideas are contrary to what I believe in. I was reading some comments on Facebook on the headline news and one commenter has written  every evil word that she thinks would describe the President. She wrote in badly written English with so many errors in grammar and she was so passionate about lambasting the former. I can’t help but comment back like this, “Okay, I get it you are so perfect that you are capable of running the government your own way but have you ever thought that you can’t even spell properly? Are you so proud of yourself that you are writing in English? Magtagalog ka na lang”  or something to that effect. I could be a bitch too, sometimes :) It is so easy to tell the President to resign but have they ever thought of the outcome  if that happens? Who would benefit from it, definitely not us, ordinary citizens. I found this column by Winnie Monsod from the Philippine Inquirer and I am asking the same question. Like her, I would rather choose a lesser evil.

I am catching up on my reading, done three books in a week and I am advanced by four books in my reading challenge at Goodreads.  Hopefully, I’ll be able to meet the challenge. I am finding new authors and interesting books. I miss taking pics though because my camera has this message “memory card error”. I tried changing the SD card but the same message showed.  I  am planning to bring it tomorrow to the service center of Canon.

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Crossandra1

It takes time

for you to see the light,

when you have been too long

walking in the dark.

It takes time

to appreciate

what is in front of you

when your eyes are riveted

to the farthest view.

It takes time to appreciate

what love really is

when you ignore the whispers

of your heart.

Take a moment to see -

the feel of a cold morning

on your face,

the beauty of the dawn,

the wonder of a sunrise

breaking on the horizon.

Take a moment to feel -

the innocent kiss of a child

the warm embrace

the tight hugs.

For they speak to you

of love.

 

 

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“When the heart is able to ask itself and weep, then we can understand something. Dear young boys and girls, today’s world doesn’t know how to cry. The emarginated people, those left to one side, are crying. Those who are discarded are crying. But we don’t understand much about these people in need. Certain realities of life we only see through eyes cleansed by our tears. I invite each one here to ask yourself: have I learned how to weep? Have I learned how to weep for the emarginated or for a street child who has a drug problem or for an abused child? 

If you don’t learn how to cry, you cannot be a good Christian. This is a challenge. When they posed this question to us, why children suffer, why this or that tragedy occurs in life – our response must be either silence or a word that is born of our tears. Be courageous, don’t be afraid to cry.”

Through the entire week that I was indisposed nursing a cold and occasional cough before we said goodbye to Pope Francis, I read all his speeches from the time he visited Malacanang up to his interviews with the Papal delegation (mostly accredited media people) on his way back to the Vatican. Although I saw him deliver his speeches in English, in his native language which is Spanish and some in Latin and clearly translated by his official translator, Msgr. Mark Gerard Miles, I can’t help but go back and reread them again. There is something so heartwarming listening to him.  His speech during the Encounter with the Youth  at the University of Santo Tomas opened my eyes to a lot of things.

Sometimes what you can’t say in words is more understood through tears.  Crying is not a show of weakness, it is rather more on how we are attuned with our feelings and our emotions. Crying sometimes gives us that perspective we don’t open see  when  our hearts are hardened by circumstances and events  that we’d rather not face. Pope Francis was right in saying that “certain realities of life we only see through eyes cleansed by our tears.” When you are touched by these simple words, crying becomes a necessity and a natural outcome, it becomes your catharsis. You cry when you’re happy, you cry when you’re sad. I haven’t cried as much as when I saw Pope Francis on one of the windows of the Sri Lanka plane and the following days watching him touch the poor, kiss the little children,  sway with the youth while they were singing the 1995 theme song during the World Youth day, wave to thousands of people lining up the streets,  and smile at the millions of pilgrims who were in Luneta during his last mass.

Just to let you know, I am quite teary-eyed while writing this post because I remember those times that I cried buckets. I remember those times I felt so alone. I remember the times that I can’t seem to understand everything that was happening in my life.  Sometimes, the cross is so hard to bear but you have to carry it with grace and a strong  hope and faith that you  can. One thing I am proud though, I never gave up.

Yes, it’s okay to cry!

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I love these moments, the precious hours when everything is hushed  and what you hear are the silent sounds of a world just waking up from slumber.  The nights are long and cold, that kind where you just savour the quiet moments before you start the day and greet the sun’s welcome warmth, the moments of thanksgiving for another lovely morning.

It reminds me of those times that I enjoyed feeling the cold breeze, the lovely morning walks where your feet just know where to go,  thinking about life and all it brings, thinking about Caleruega, one of my favorite places. A nostalgic trip down memory lane. Sometimes, one’s memory of a place tides you over the long days  of being alone in your thoughts and it brings back the smiles. And you are lucky and blessed that there are such places where peace and quiet reign. We need sometimes to embrace our solitude and be attuned with what nature brings. We need sometimes to think of graceful thoughts and imagine being transported back to places that brought so much happiness in our lives. Moments like this – something to treasure, something to cherish.

Have you ever felt teary-eyed but joyful welcoming an early morning? The Divine is shining through all the time.

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