Nobody Wins

You  feel you’ve triumphed

Seeing your opponent cry

But did you ever see

The hurt look in her eyes?

You feel you have scored

Making life like it was a game

But did you ever think

That in an argument,

Nobody wins?

She hurls hurting words at you

And you do the same

But did you ever see

That she was trying to let you know

“I take that all back

Because I don’t want to hurt you.”

And behind those shouts of anger and pain

You long to see her smile again.

(Reposted from July 13, 2011. I remember during my early blogging years, comments and like were practically unheard of although visitors just came and go. It was then WordPress would get back to one’s post and you’ll read the words fantastic, amazing, beautiful etc. etc.)

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These Things

 Love those moments between dawn and daybreak  –

the sounds of a new day, the smile of the morning sun, the feel of the gentle wind on my face. And slowly, the nocturnal music of the night becomes the  noise of the morning, the honk of school buses ready to pick up their student riders, the noise of motor vehicles always in a hurry to get to their destination and the bark of our six dogs, some waiting to get out of the gate for a morning walk but they don’t get to do it nowadays. The garden is enough. I love the smell of  hot Pan de Sal  freshly bought from the bakery, the taste and aroma of a hot cup of coffee and the sizzle of  eggs in the frying pan to go with it.

I love those moments  that a typical day brings –

the silver hues of raindrops on the grass, the earthy smell,  the discovery of  new blooms in the garden which I  am always so excited to snap with my camera.  Simple things that may seem too mundane to others but these are the same things that make one’s day special.   There’s no use crying over spilled milk, is there? There’s no use  showing to the world that you carry its weight on your shoulders. Time is gold so they say , and  we hurry and forget to appreciate everyday blessings that come our way. We chase the day like there is no tomorrow and before we know it, it is gone and all we remember is the stress we experienced and so much work  left undone. When you begin to see, really see what the day has in store, there are outstanding moments that you get to appreciate more.

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Sunday, Sweet Sunday

It rained last night and there is still a gentle drizzle at the moment, enough to wet the garden, my plants are happy. Before I woke up I was dreaming of taking my cup of coffee outside and hear mass online but it’s not to be.

I attempted many times to be physically present during Sunday masses but I found them too noisy to my over-sensitive ears. The sound echoes back and I could not understand a thing. So I went back to attending Sunday masses online where the sound is clear if I put my CP to full volume. Fr. Aly, a long time friend was the mass presider in our parish today at the town proper. Back in 1995, he blessed our new house. He was still two years into priesthood then. When Nissa got married in 2011, we invited him as the mass celebrant. I remember the more personalized homily about our family and about my treatment and journey as a cancer survivor.

I will hear mass on Ash Wednesday even if it’s hard to listen to it. It’s the beginning of Lent. Even if I am a senior, we still observe fasting during Fridays of the whole season of Lent and fasting and abstinence on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. I am looking for some links on online recollection. I used to read that of Fr. J’s meaningful reflections but he is no longer active in his blog. He is a Jesuit and I used to read his homilies too. There is this site called sacredspace that posts nice and uplifting reflections but I haven’t visited it for a long time.

I just visited it. The link is sacredspace.ie. Here’s a simple prayer for today posted at the site. It is entitled Presence:

Dear Lord, help me to be open to you

for this time as I put aside the cares of this world

Fill my mind with Your peace, Your love.

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Sunday, Sweet Sunday

It rained last night and there is still a gentle drizzle at the moment, enough to wet the garden, my plants are happy. Before I woke up I was dreaming of taking my cup of coffee outside and hear mass online but it’s not to be.

I attempted many times to be physically present during Sunday masses but I found them too noisy to my over-sensitive ears. The sound echoes back and I could not understand a thing. So I went back to attending Sunday masses online where the sound is clear if I put my CP to full volume. Fr. Aly, a long time friend was the mass presider in our parish today at the town proper. Back in 1995, he blessed our new house. He was still two years into priesthood then. When Nissa got married in 2011, we invited him as the mass celebrant. I remember the more personalized homily about our family and about my treatment and journey as a cancer survivor.

I will hear mass on Ash Wednesday even if it’s hard to listen to it. It’s the beginning of Lent. Even if I am a senior, we still observe fasting during Fridays of the whole season of Lent and fasting and abstinence on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. I am looking for some links on online recollection. I used to read that of Fr. J’s meaningful reflections but he is no longer active in his blog. He is a Jesuit and I used to read his homilies too. There is this site called sacredspace that posts nice and uplifting reflections but I haven’t visited it for a long time.

I just visited it. The link is sacredspace.ie. Here’s a simple prayer for today posted at the site. It is entitled Presence:

Dear Lord, help me to be open to you

for this time as I put aside the cares of this world

Fill my mind with Your peace, Your love.

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Minute Reflections

Close your eyes for a while

Savor the silence

Listen to God’s voice

He gently calls,

Whispering His everlasting love.

Silence is a prayer in itself.

2

Always believe in prayers

No matter how mundane your wants and needs are,

God answers our prayers.

It may not be immediate

But rest assured it is the best.

Let us learn to listen to God’s whispers

Let us learn to appreciate silence in our hearts.

(Reposted from my post back in 2011)

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Solitude

I  had a  more-than-an-hour-lovely chat  with a an online friend last night.  She is based in Bacolod City in the southern part of the Philippines and we both belong to the group chat of Sambuhay Interaktib.  We touched on so many subjects like our online Kris Kringle at Sambuhay Interaktib that  includes twelve priest friends and seminarians who are active at the site.  I wonder what mechanics they will do to make it successful.

We touched on  religious books we have read before. Her sister is a Trappistine contemplative  nun so the latter suggests books for her to read. She loves Thomas Merton, Henri Nouwen and Mary Oliver too. I told her to look for the works of John O’Donohue, a former priest, poet and writer who died last January 4, 2008. A great loss to the people who love his works like I do.

Solitude.

It’s a favorite word for this newly-met friend. She told me that she would have entered the convent too but it didn’t materialize.  Solitude may have different meaning to some but that kind that we crave being in the company of our thoughts, those times that we need to contemplate about life and find meaning in the everyday things happening around, those times that we need to be alone and just enjoy life as it is.

Solitude.

Being alone but not necessarily lonely. Being alone and feeling lonely are two different things.  We can grow more comfortable with just being ourselves. It gives us an opportunity to plan our lives. I always experience that lovely communication with God and nature when I am in the garden, uprooting weeds, pruning and planting some seeds or deadheading flowers.

You can sit quietly in a corner, listen to some music of old and before you know it, you are uplifted. Sometimes it even comes to a point where you sing too and you remember lovely memories in your life.

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Getting There Somehow

I saw this lovely article about getting old.Some realizations of what you can do for yourselves once you reach that certain age of being a senior.

1 – After loving my parents, my siblings, my spouse, my children and my friends, I have now started loving myself.

2 – I have realized that I am not “Atlas”. The world does not rest on my shoulders.

3 – I have stopped bargaining with vegetable & fruit vendors. A few pennies more is not going to break me, but it might help the poor fellow save for his daughter’s school fees.

4 – I leave my waitress a big tip. The extra money might bring a smile to her face. She is toiling much harder for a living than I am.

5 – I stopped telling the elderly that they’ve already narrated that story many times. The story makes them walk down memory lane & relive their past.

6 – I have learned not to correct people even when I know they are wrong. The onus of making everyone perfect is not on me. Peace is more precious than perfection.

7 – I give compliments freely & generously. Compliments are a mood enhancer not only for the recipient, but also for me. And a small tip for the recipient of a compliment, never, NEVER turn it down, just say “Thank You.”

8 – I have learned not to bother about a crease or a spot on my shirt. Personality speaks louder than appearances.

9 – I walk away from people who don’t value me. They might not know my worth, but I do.

10 – I remain cool when someone plays dirty to outrun me in the rat race. I am not a rat & neither am I in any race.

11 – I am learning not to be embarrassed by my emotions. It’s my emotions that make me human.

12 – I have learned that it’s better to drop the ego than to break a relationship. My ego will keep me aloof, whereas with relationships, I will never be alone.

13 – I have learned to live each day as if it’s the last. After all, it might be the last.

14 – I am doing what makes me happy. I am responsible for my happiness, and I owe it to myself. Happiness is a choice. You can be happy at any time, just choose to be!

 

I don’t know who to credit it to but THANK YOU. Love this list.  

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Remembering Padre Pio Today

I am always touched watching the flickering candles at the Padre Pio Chapel in Libis. The symbolism of having pure light, penetrating darkness and illuminating one’s path is so uplifting.

St. Padre Pio is one of my favorite saints. I believe he was instrumental in healing me when I was sick eleven years ago. I have always experienced kneeling down with that blank paper in my hands and didn’t know what to write in my petitions but once my pen glides on the paper, it is a spontaneous flow of thanksgiving and asking for special intentions. I am always in awe every time I read those testimonials of people he has touched through their prayers.

HAPPY FEAST DAY PADRE PIO. I am sad I could not visit you today.

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Something Inspirational

Here are some more excerpts from my  older posts that I’ve shared with Interktib. They air now twice a week because some of those who take charge of the program are seminarians who have started their classes.

I have already shared those with check marks. Some go back as early as 2011.  I always look forward to sharing these words, touching a soul or two in cyberspace.

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When Words Are Not Enough

I am still randomly copying some excerpts from my earlier posts for my journal and which I’m gonna share later at Interaktib. Then I found this, it’s something I wrote  from six years ago.  Reposting it.

WHEN WORDS ARE NOT ENOUGH

Sometimes,

I hide myself behind the flow of words

If you are clever enough

You’ll catch me  peeking

from a curtained window

admiring the view

but never brave enough

to open the door.

Sometimes,

life seems so difficult

and one’s smile catches the tears

one look that lingers

that one goodbye

erases hundreds of hello.

How could you not see

that life  is sometimes

hard to journey through?

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