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Posts Tagged ‘reflections’


I had a good short chat with my doctor today.  I told him I am a survivor. He asked how long ago it was. He told me to forget about it. I have survived more than five years. What is important is that I am well now. Yes, I said. Health is wealth. He advised me to avoid stress as much as possible because it is the number one cause of illness. I do agree. It’s a good thing my blood pressure is now normal and my blood sugar has been consistently normal for the past four months since my first visit the last week of  January. I have to keep on the maintenance though, it’s for life.  He said to always be happy and look on the brighter things. Everyone of us has problems to overcome.

I suddenly remember one of our favorite topics before on our page at Facebook. Which is more important, the journey or the destination?  The journey would always be difficult somehow but then there is a certain kind of joy when we reach our destination. Maybe our attitude towards reaching our dreams counts a lot.The road maybe sometimes rough and treacherous but we carry on. We want to take a glimpse of what lies ahead.

Can’t believe it. My son is turning thirty-three tomorrow.  Seems like only yesterday when we would walk together to the next street in our subdivision, he, to go to school and I, to wait for my FX service in going to work.  We had adopted this ritual of listening to a fifteen minute Bible reading and reflections in one of the FM stations on radio by a Dominican priest.  It was aptly called The Sounds of the Soul. Along the way, we would discuss what we heard and learned. Those were the days that I miss.  The program is gone now replaced by morning news. Until now, my son and I still go together to attend mass on Sundays. Sometimes,  he attends one in the morning with me and one in the evening with his girlfriend.  He never forgets our Sunday obligation.  Looking forward to a simple birthday celebration. He’ll be on vacation leave for a few days.

I am into memoirs now, a two-series books by Susan Cutsforth, a journey of taking risks, living an extraordinary life in a town somewhere in France. I can’t help but compare the writings with that of Peter Mayle’s trilogy, memoirs about his stay in Provence. I love the latter’s works. He is a British author

How was your weekend?

 

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Whoa! It’s been a busy week.

I went back to my internist last Wednesday and he requested that I undergo blood tests again, the usual CBC, FBS and  2PPRS. Had my laboratory tests yesterday and tomorrow I will go back to him to show the test results.  My blood sugar level has been normal since my last lab test four months ago but my doctor  wants to make sure that it stays normal.  Ah, all those medications  I have to take every day. Sometimes, although I feel okay I have that inner fear of the results of my laboratory tests.  It’s been that way since I got sick (big time) a few years. ago. Maybe, being a survivor makes you a little  afraid when it comes to your health. Oh well, growing old  makes you think of your own mortality. I guess it is a normal feeling, the insecurity of not being 100% fit.

I’ve set aside reading and blogging for a few days but I read the posts of those  blogger friends I follow. It is such a thrill to find new bloggers and excellent writers too.  I reduced my followed sites to a manageable 174  although not all of them are that much active in the blogging world.  I’ve been listening to instrumental music on YouTube though,  a very relaxing way to spend  the days. and pass the time away.  I am forty books advanced in my reading challenge at Goodreads. I would love to read and reread those classics that I found a few years ago, maybe compare them with some books of  new authors and different genre.  It’s fun to discover new ideas and thoughts via books.

Have a blessed weekend ahead guys.

 

 

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What a sad day.

A priest friend of mine died in his sleep last night. Met him with some of my friends at AFCC when we donated a statue of St. Padre Pio  almost  three years ago. He always included us in his prayers and healing masses. He was just 62. Maybe God has other plans for him but I feel sad that he passed on suddenly.  It was a blessed and peaceful death. Yesterday, one of my friends attended the ordination of five seminarians at La Salette. That was the last time he’d seen Fr. Chris alive.

I was cleaning the list of contacts I follow here on WordPress just this morning.  Most of them followed but some have stopped blogging. I never see them  on my feed.  I have a greatly reduced number of bloggers  I follow.  Contrary to what other people think, it is quite hard to maintain a blog. We are not always inspired to write and we are  not always inclined to share what is happening in our lives.  Once you get out of cyberspace for long, you are forgotten.

I noticed that most of my online friends here are now retirees like me. You might reason out, we have the time in our hands to blog, right? Wrong. Even if you have enough time in your hands if you are not fond of writing and dedicated enough to  maintain a blog, it would be a useless exercise. There are some of us who consider blogging a lifestyle. I am one. It seems that when you start a blog, it won’t be complete if you won’t update it now and then. Never mind if nobody reads it but you. You find fulfillment in publishing your own post. Having a lot of followers is a bonus. and you’ll  be glad if your blog gets noticed in cyberspace.  Some of us start on one particular subject like books, gardening, photography and family life. It is a little easier though if you have a variety of things to blog about. And it is even nicer to read about current happenings than  reading about  subjects that happened a long, long time ago. Occasionally, it’s okay though.

Last year I copied a few lines somewhere. Sorry I can’t remember now but I give proper credit to the writer. Sometimes, a soul out there in cyberspace echoes your own thoughts and you smile because you remember your own struggle with words. I love this:

“Pencils are patient. They don’t act as harbingers of deadlines, rather, they offer sustenance to the challenged mind. Who hasn’t tasted the metallic triumph of chewing on an eraser’s casing at the end of a pencil? Who hasn’t drummed a pencil on a desk, twirled one to tune out a teacher or broken one in half, releasing an unleashed dormant Lou Ferrigno?”

How often do you update your blog? Do you find fulfillment in blogging?

 

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Just my simple observations.

We are observing and commemorating our 119th Independence Day today where we are supposed to be united once again as a nation.  I salute our heroes who sacrificed their lives to gain our independence. In the past, we have seen our former presidents present at the symbolic flag raising ceremonies in Luneta  but this morning,  Duterte was not there as planned, no reason given.  It was Vice-Pres. Robredo and foreign Affairs Secretary Cayetano who graced the occasion. Some were clearly disappointed, like he was trying to avoid his presence there but most people rejoiced in not seeing him there. The division among the people is blatantly obvious. Malacanang is mum about it 😦 .

There were these reports that he grudgingly thanked the US in helping  our AFP  and PNP  in  the Marawi siege.  He said he was not aware of it. Goodness gracious, he is the commander-in-chief who is supposed to be on top of the game.  You mean, “tutulog tulog lang”? (sleeping on the job). The AFP and PNP know that he wants the  NPA (the communists party of the Philippines) and the two Moro groups MILF and MNLF to help them in their fight. How could he even think of having those three enemy groups to be in the camp as our brave soldiers up front? The nerve. Sure the drug menace needs to be stopped but I am alarmed at the extra judicial killings  happening almost every day.  Is it a case of protecting the drug lords but disposing the lowly users and pushers? If the government is serious about it, why is it that until now, no drug lord has been arrested. I think they are freely  roaming around.  By the way, martial law is not lifted yet in Mindanao.

What’s happening to us?  Are we really free in the true sense of the word?

 

 

 

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I am in the middle of reading a book,  my second book of  Amanda Prowse called Will You Remember Me? This is actually my 94th book which I committed to read on my 2017 Goodreads Reading challenge. I didn’t purposely choose this but I could totally relate to the subject because it’s one topic that was so close to me a few years ago.

How do you say goodbye to your beloved family? How do you say goodbye to your close friends? How do you say goodbye to everyone?  This is about having that much-dreaded cancer.  When your days are numbered, how will you react?

I could totally relate to the story because almost eight years ago, I was in the same predicament.  The journey of knowing that you were not that well, the journey of accepting the truth that you have to undergo treatments to get well. I was in a quandary before if I must have that chemotherapy or not. Imagine being afraid that you were not 100% fit and your life may never be the same after the chemo but then you have to decide right there and then before everything is too late.  I am in remission now, thank  God. At times,  I am afraid when my immunity goes low and I have that cold which take a long time to heal. I haven’t totally  recaptured total wellness since I got sick. There are always times when  I feel weak and lethargic. I never let it defeat me though, I am claiming that those day are gone now.

There is no use crying over spilled  milk so people always say but the memory lingers. You remember those days when you can’t almost get up for a day or two after every session of chemotherapy. You remember those days when you can’t even hold a spoon properly because your hands ache  in the process. You remember those days when your arms don’t feel anything and they’re like heavy stones attached to your shoulder.

Being healthy is the best gift one could ever have but as we grow older we feel those aches and pains that go with old age.  Just enjoy these moments, moments of togetherness and bonding, joyful moments to remember. Deep in one’s heart, one could be happy  despite and in spite of.

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For some time now, it has been playing in my head. Am I an old soul? So I took this test  at playbuzz.com and the results seem to be true.

You’re what we call an ancient soul… too old to even be defined as- well, old! Ancient souls were born hundreds of thousands of years ago, and have seen hundred of centuries and millenniums pass by! Your soul is extremely unique and rare to find these days, as rapid advances in technology have forced a lot of people to “move on”. But you still cling in the past- the VERY past- and you’re content and accepting of who you are. You are so mature and wise beyond your years that it is indescribable! Being an ancient soul may make you feel very weary, and it may even feel difficult at times, but don’t forget… ancient souls form very special and rewarding relationships with other people. It is a bond that is so true, so faithful, and so giving beyond any other soul could imagine… So next time you talk to a close friend, just think about how lucky they are to have met a special soul like you!

I am an old soul.

Maybe so. There was a question there if you enjoy being alone. I do. Being alone does not necessarily mean that you are lonely. Being alone  gives you that “me” times that other people don’t seem to find in this crazy world. Being alone, doing what you want to do, enjoying your own company and thinking sometimes of those days long ago.

Mature? Yes, At my age, that goes with the territory. I think I am that kind who think not just twice but several times the repercussions of what I do in life.  There are people who have  aged biologically but are still immature in their decisions and the way they act.  There are people  who like to stay that way – happy-go-lucky, carefree.  Life sometimes gets to us in a way we never expect. Life sometimes is just that, hard. Who says it is easy?

Unique? I’d like to think so but each one of us is unique in this world. Maybe the difference lies in one’s attitude and how one does things. Or maybe attitude spells the difference.

Wise? That I agree.  We acquire wisdom with age. We tend to be more realistic about things as we grow older.   Sometimes, we don’t only accept but we question too.  what is wisdom? It is the soundness of our actions and decisions. It is common sense, good judgment.

I am an old soul. Are you?

I am always touched by this quote from Langston Hughes:

“Hold fast to dreams,
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird,
That cannot fly.”

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For the past several days, I  was not inspired enough to blog and share my thoughts.  I don’t know why. These are those times when I prefer finishing the books I have started on my e-reader, just quiet moments listening to the noise of the day, the usual hustle and bustle  of  city life.

Finally, we’re done trimming the carabao grass (as usual) over the weekend. I love the nice clean look of our small garden. I counted the fruits of our langka (jackfruit trees)  in all stages of growth. There were more than twenty of them and small shoots are still sprouting like crazy. Our  two calamansi trees are in their flowering stage too. I just love the lemony scents of their flowers.  They  delight the senses in such a big way.

Have you ever experienced starting on a new book and a new author and  having that big smile on your face because you found it? That feeling of bliss and well-being because you were inspired by the story? That feeling that everything is okay and you wish the story would go on?  But such is the sad part, a story always has an ending. It may not be something  you expected, it may not be something that you ever thought of, it may not be something that the story calls for, but precisely the ending sometimes leaves you breathless with that silly smile on your face because of such a moving encounter with a good read.

Some books I prefer reading slowly like Upstream  by Mary Oliver. Taking those words in small doses so to speak.  I  always look at the dust jacket of the book and I  smile because I have  a copy. It’s actually my third book of Mary Oliver.  Lately, I started reading Write It Down, Make It Happen by Henriette Anne Klauser, a sort of self-help book.  There was a time during my college years when I got engrossed reading Psychology and  Philosophy books. That waned  over the years until lately. The latter speaks of writing down your goals and achieving them not in the spur of the moment perhaps but through the  blessed days of your life. We speak of miracles, we speak of coincidences but I guess it’s  God’s way of telling us to go on  because He will never abandon us.  Have faith in all you do.

Oh, I can’t believe  it, I am on my 89th book  in my Goodreads 2017 reading challenge.  It’s about  59%  and  36 books ahead of schedule. So glad of this.

Good morning everyone!

 

 

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