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Posts Tagged ‘a bit of myself’


My autograph is open
Come and see
What?
Won’t you waste a line on me?
Share but a thought
A word or two
That memory may revert to you…

These  were just a few lines that I vividly remember written on my first autograph book that Mom and Dad gave me one Christmas in 1968.  Back then, the first thought that came to mind was, I could have my grade school classmates sign it before our graduation the following year.  I didn’t know that Mom kept it together with assorted toys, plastic dolls and other paraphernalia so dear to a young girl’s heart. The book was about 8′ x 10′ in size, with an inch-thick pages and the cover was  of a glossy material that easily attracts the eyes. At the center was a picture of…guess who….Susan Roces!

I was then quite excited to show it off to my classmates. I am sure you know what a typical autograph looks like, you write your name, address, age, school, ambition, motto in life and see questions like, ‘who is your crush?’ and such things like ‘define love’.  On the second page is where you put your dedication together with a small photograph if you have one.

A few years ago, I got the chance to get re-acquainted with it. The pages were quite frayed at the edges and some part of it were eaten by termites.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
May some forget you
But never shall I…

I could not help remembering James Patterson’s books with similar titles, Roses Are Red and Violets Are Blue. Do you think he got the idea of using such from some childhood quotes?  Going back to answering the question, ‘what do you want to be when you grow up?’ A lot of them answered, ‘to be a nurse’ or ‘to be a teacher’ and most of them wrote under ambition, ‘to go abroad’ Why not ‘to be a writer”or probably the more facetious answers like ‘to be a beauty queen’ or ‘to be a Philippine president’ ? Forty years ago, being a teacher was I think the most noble ambition for a child of eleven or twelve. And going abroad was the ultimate dream of every family.  Remember the saying, “the grass is greener on the other side”.

Define love.  ‘Love is sweet’, ‘love hurts’, ‘love is a nice feeling’. Corny, you might say but those are definitely what we feel at times, right?  We were psyched  from early childhood how to give love back – be it in simple things like hugging our parents, kissing our younger siblings, making those paper flowers for our moms thinking that they are the best flowers in the world, helping them with household chores, etc.  Love is simply manifested in every gesture but probably in a subconscious way.

Back in high school during our senior year, we had those slumbooks  (is this word in the dictionary?) as we called it then. Remember those cute little notebooks  with Hello Kitty designs?  Almost every girl in class had it and we were quite “kilig to the bones” seeing our high school crush sign it.  What was important was, the complete address, birthday and the short accompanying note which we treasured.  Nowadays and luckily for our batch, we regularly keep in touch by way of frequent get-together, once in three years reunions, via our batch’ e-group and such social networking site like Facebook.

Yes, the college years  – those were the days where you probably experienced being in love for the first time.   Really, how time flies!   Slumbooks and autographs, do they still have that now?

(photo courtesy of  Witty  Will Save The World Co.)

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I remember an old friend who used to say, “The journey to life is an endless struggle on  perilous paths of treacherous stones and storms”. For one so young she surely looked at the world with open eyes and between the two of us, I was more of the dreamer than she was.  I had this penchant for collecting quotes from almost every book that comes into my hands,  filling up three full notebook of quotations my entire college life. She was really a big influence to me –  appreciating  good poetry, good books and  yes, quotes that somehow played a big chunk of what I called my “sentimental” moments. She was a friend, the big sister I never had.

“Live the dream”, she would  say. I do. I did. And I like to think that somehow, in between wakefulness and dreamland, life is  real. Why am I remembering?  Why the sudden recall?  Or is this one of those moments that makes  one wander far beyond, going far off to a place of childhood dreams?  I really don’t know. We used to walk and talk, and dream about big things that only the young would think of  and I suddenly pictured her smiling face, creating a sense of sudden longing. Memories sometimes have that power to make one lonely and alone.

I would have liked to share that I’ve through a phase in my life full of so much pain. But I can hear her voice saying,  “Life is never perfect”. And she would understand.  And I would tell her that I am brave enough to face it all.

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Back in October  2012, I wrote about A Thousand Mornings, a title I borrowed from one of the books  of my favorite author and poet Mary Oliver. I still read it now  and then and my soul is uplifted every time I do.

Christmas.

Early this morning, I chanced upon  a radio station playing songs in between the recent news in our country. Then all of a sudden,  he inserted  a Christmas song in between. What? Christmas in August? Oh but he said it’s barely two weeks before we start the BER months. Believe me, here in the Philippines  Christmas celebrations start as early as October and end as late as February the following year.  I ended up listening to some Christmas songs on YouTube. What a joy to reminisce and remember those past days of celebrating Christmas.

Books.

I love visiting Booksale. They have so many branches in different malls here in Metro Manila.  Aren’t you thrilled going out of a book store armed with several titles of books you’ve found in your foray? They are not necessarily books by authors you love and follow but you find the texture of the pages and the  designs on the book covers so beautiful.  They speak to you of those lovely days you spent in your youth discovering new books at the library. Of course when you really want books, one could always visit National Bookstore but the books are quite expensive.

Flowers.

There was a time that I used to take shots of every bloom in my garden. I don’t have my camera now, it got broken and the other ones were destroyed during typhoon Ondoy back in 2009.  I use my tab and my phone cam once in a while but I don’t take photos as much  as several years ago. I intend to buy  a camera one of these days. Although cameras on cellphones are more convenient, I could not take those high-resolution photos that I love. I guess I have more than a thousand flowers shots saved on Photobucket.

My Garden.

And all because I love  the rich soil beneath my hands and watch things grow. Every year, I would plant bonito  ampalaya, a pot or two of chili peppers and turmeric.  Occasionally,  jute leaves sprout for a time, to grow again during the rainy season.  We have two kalamansi trees and two jackfruit trees in the garden aside from the ornamental plants that I cultivate.  Our Arius is like a  Christmas tree just waiting to be decorated with lights and tinsel.

Blogging.

But of course. I meet so many friends here. In Facebook,  my feed is full of hodgepodge of unpalatable news.  At times,  I just ignore them and make some shout outs to my friends. I don’t go public on Facebook.  I meet lovely friends here at WordPress, read beautiful blog posts and  see wonderful photos of other places that I haven’t been to.  The day won’t be complete without visiting WordPress.  I have 2,046 posts including this one for this main blog alone.

Family.

Family always comes first of course.  Now that we have Nate with us, it is always a riot when he is around. Smiles are not far behind.  I remember those days when my two kids were growing up and were left in the care of two yayas. It was always a problem for mom and dad to look for yayas for us in the province.  Nowadays, it is even harder to find household help that you can trust.

I remember those days when  I used to go up the stage every recognition day  and so proud of my kids receiving those medals. It was a thrill when my daughter graduated Magna Cum Laude  and we were given choice seats at the  venue.  Tears of joy for the standing ovation from her professors and classmates when she received that medal upon graduation.  We were so proud of her.

Clouds.

Did I say I like taking photos of clouds and watching them move when the sky is dark? I love though when the sun is hot and the day is just perfect for cloud-watching. They look so mysterious out there. These are photos  from  some years back.

I could go on of course with a thousand more mornings but I think this has gone long enough.

“All night my heart makes its way
however it can over the rough ground
of uncertainties, but only until night
meets and then is overwhelmed by
morning, the light deepening, the
wind easing and just waiting, as I
too wait (and when have I ever been
disappointed?) for redbird to sing”
– Mary Oliver, A Thousand Mornings

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Yes, it’s Sunday.

We attended mass a little late at 8am. My son was still snoring gently at 6am, our usual time to hear mass. It rained for a while early this morning,  a perfect time to stay a little more in bed.

What I like about  Sundays? They are relaxed days for me.  Though we only stay at home after hearing mass and do some grocery shopping, I still love Sundays. I could check those blogs I follow and discover new ones. I love reading their posts, looking at the photographs, learning and admiring new places and learning a lot from some sojourners too. It’s a perfect day to really catch up on more chapters of a book you love.  Oh yes, chatting with friends online.

What’s your Sunday like?

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Ah, I should have done this a long time ago. I did of course but it was an entry post at the very start of this blog. I just transferred  it at the upper right corner under Pages entitled Dreams and Escapes.  Most bloggers have introductory pages on their blogs.

Back when I was starting how to set this up I was also learning how to customize it.  It was hard at first, a touch and go  process so to speak until I finally learned how to install those side widgets and update them. It was fun.  Now if I could have another easy theme to customize, maybe I’ll change my theme too but most lovely themes at WordPress nowadays  cost a lot. For now, I’ll stick to the Misty Look,  clean and clear lines which I prefer than colored backgrounds.  According to WordPress this is the first theme  that accommodated Custom Image Header. the header changes as you read several posts on the blog.  Since I don’t have those precise sizes of photos to upload, I guess I only had about ten or more photos as header images.

Once in a while, it is nice to navigate all these updates on one’s blog. It is nice to learn a bit more of what WordPress  has to offer. Do visit my page if you have time. It’s a work in progress just like this blog.

 

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I had a good short chat with my doctor today.  I told him I am a survivor. He asked how long ago it was. He told me to forget about it. I have survived more than five years. What is important is that I am well now. Yes, I said. Health is wealth. He advised me to avoid stress as much as possible because it is the number one cause of illness. I do agree. It’s a good thing my blood pressure is now normal and my blood sugar has been consistently normal for the past four months since my first visit the last week of  January. I have to keep on the maintenance though, it’s for life.  He said to always be happy and look on the brighter things. Everyone of us has problems to overcome.

I suddenly remember one of our favorite topics before on our page at Facebook. Which is more important, the journey or the destination?  The journey would always be difficult somehow but then there is a certain kind of joy when we reach our destination. Maybe our attitude towards reaching our dreams counts a lot.The road maybe sometimes rough and treacherous but we carry on. We want to take a glimpse of what lies ahead.

Can’t believe it. My son is turning thirty-three tomorrow.  Seems like only yesterday when we would walk together to the next street in our subdivision, he, to go to school and I, to wait for my FX service in going to work.  We had adopted this ritual of listening to a fifteen minute Bible reading and reflections in one of the FM stations on radio by a Dominican priest.  It was aptly called The Sounds of the Soul. Along the way, we would discuss what we heard and learned. Those were the days that I miss.  The program is gone now replaced by morning news. Until now, my son and I still go together to attend mass on Sundays. Sometimes,  he attends one in the morning with me and one in the evening with his girlfriend.  He never forgets our Sunday obligation.  Looking forward to a simple birthday celebration. He’ll be on vacation leave for a few days.

I am into memoirs now, a two-series books by Susan Cutsforth, a journey of taking risks, living an extraordinary life in a town somewhere in France. I can’t help but compare the writings with that of Peter Mayle’s trilogy, memoirs about his stay in Provence. I love the latter’s works. He is a British author

How was your weekend?

 

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Whoa! It’s been a busy week.

I went back to my internist last Wednesday and he requested that I undergo blood tests again, the usual CBC, FBS and  2PPRS. Had my laboratory tests yesterday and tomorrow I will go back to him to show the test results.  My blood sugar level has been normal since my last lab test four months ago but my doctor  wants to make sure that it stays normal.  Ah, all those medications  I have to take every day. Sometimes, although I feel okay I have that inner fear of the results of my laboratory tests.  It’s been that way since I got sick (big time) a few years. ago. Maybe, being a survivor makes you a little  afraid when it comes to your health. Oh well, growing old  makes you think of your own mortality. I guess it is a normal feeling, the insecurity of not being 100% fit.

I’ve set aside reading and blogging for a few days but I read the posts of those  blogger friends I follow. It is such a thrill to find new bloggers and excellent writers too.  I reduced my followed sites to a manageable 174  although not all of them are that much active in the blogging world.  I’ve been listening to instrumental music on YouTube though,  a very relaxing way to spend  the days. and pass the time away.  I am forty books advanced in my reading challenge at Goodreads. I would love to read and reread those classics that I found a few years ago, maybe compare them with some books of  new authors and different genre.  It’s fun to discover new ideas and thoughts via books.

Have a blessed weekend ahead guys.

 

 

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