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Posts Tagged ‘a bit of myself’


I went back to my doctor yesterday after a series of blood tests which I’ve undergone over the weekend. He interpreted the results and said “”they are all normal, ang galing ng doctor ano?” I just smiled and thanked him for the medications he prescribed earlier. My blood pressure has significantly gone down and so was my blood sugar level.  It is quite hard to have your blood extracted every week , it is a bit harder to go on fasting for several hours too. I have to continue with my medications though for another month until further check-up.

Sometimes, I wonder about the “what ifs” in my life. What if  I didn’t feel that sudden blinding headache and body malaise then I won’t have those weekly laboratory tests and doctor visits.  What if I did exercises every day then I won’t have to suffer and limit my movements now. What if I got conscious of what I ate before then probably,  I won’t have to limit my intake of fatty and starchy food.

We do all have those questions . At some time in our lives, we feel  those blinding curves that make us weak in the process.  It might not just be physical but mentally as well. We dwell on the what if.  What if I did this or I did that? We never would know the repercussions of what we are doing right or wrong until we are in that situation. We could never assure ourselves that everything would be okay as well. We are all responsible though with the outcome whether it  was a wrong decision for us or not.  When we encounter things  that we didn’t think of that will happen, we don’t  know  what to do.

It’s been a lesson learned for me and I learned it well.  At my age, I anticipate some body weakness maybe at a later date or time  but not this. Although most of the family members up to the third degree are prone to high blood pressure, I haven’t heard of one who has elevated blood sugar. I am a cancer survivor that is why I am a little wary when it comes to my health. It might come back any time or (thank God) it might not. It might choose to appear in other organs of my body. Those are the “what ifs” that I sometimes ask myself.

Life is a wonderful gift. Treasure it.

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Wasted journey to the bank I must say.

I received two checks this morning representing my cash dividends from the bank where I worked before. Every start of the year, they declare dividends on outstanding shares of stock. I was so excited I didn’t notice the dates of the checks.They are both post-dated  January 20.  Only one was honored, another cash dividend from a different company which I received earlier.  When you overlook something like this, you are definitely getting old.  Or maybe I was just so excited to have it cleared so I could buy a single induction cook top. We use gas  stove and I use my portable electric oven when baking.  Hmm…still excited  though because that is an extra income for me, no need for extra cash out 🙂 if I may say.

I know, I am getting forgetful at times. Is that a sign of old age? Turning sixty somehow added to it.  I do have those moments when I am out to get something from the bedroom and I go out empty-handed, that “something” somehow forgotten but you’ve seen  another  “something” that you need to do and you do it first before remembering what you initially went there for.

Some people say that when you read a lot, your brain  is active so it keeps you away from being forgetful.  Reading  a lot keeps your mind  in good condition so to speak.  Reading improves concentration too. When you are multi-tasking, it is quite difficult to remember everything but when you concentrate on the pages of a book, the mind stays focused.   Do you agree? Eight books done so far, the phase is a little faster than before.

Do you laugh at yourself when you make a mistake and overlook something in the process? Do you just smile and say  “I’ll try harder the next time”.  I do sometimes 🙂 I am not always in a good mood though. This afternoon  after my trip to the bank, I had another opportunity to window shop and look at things that delight the senses.  So far, so good.

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I am not fond of selfies, those photos many take on their cellphones every day and post them on their Facebook wall.  How many times must you take a picture of yourself in a day just to be in a “selfie mood” so to speak?

There are so many apps linked to Facebook nowadays. I just tried one of them for fun and here’s the result.

fb-photo

The first photo was taken a week before my 60th birthday last  October. It’s an ID taken at the studio which I used for my SSS application.  The second one was a  snapshot of the video taken during my GMA Channel 7 episode, May Magic Ang Pasko. The third photo is my Avatar profile here and my profile picture at the moment at FB, a shot from one of my favorite places – Caleruega. Photographs capture a moment that is forever gone except in memories.

 

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I remember my last session of chemotherapy done on a December morning at the UST Hospital Benavidez Cancer Institute.  It was a Tuesday, the  Feast of the Immaculate Conception.  My medical oncologist called it my graduation.  Graduation from six cycles of chemotherapy and oral chemo drugs, graduation from the pain brought by the IV injected every three weeks, graduation from various laboratory tests before each cycle of chemo. But it did not end there. I have to go back to my surgical oncologist for regular check-up until five years ago when I totally lifted everything up to God that I am truly cured  and well.  It was a nice feeling to be able to pick up and do regular routines without  having to worry about one’s health, without having to worry about doctor and hospital visits. I hate hospitals. I can’t stand waiting too long outside a doctor’s office with other patients who have their own stories to tell.   Seeing other patients is depressing enough.

When you are sick, sometimes depression sets in but your belief and faith that you will be cured  of your illness helps to combat those feelings. When you believe that you will get well, you will.  I started this blog sharing a bit of what I went through more than seven years ago. I wonder sometimes about those friends I met here who underwent the same journey as I did. Where are they now? I haven’t heard from them for quite a while.  There was a time when some of my posts would be full of sharing about their plights as cancer patients and survivors or some members of the family sharing about it. I miss those because I would want to know how they are now.

Some people say things happen for a reason. I believe though that God allows us to feel the pain of being sick so we’ll get closer to Him. It’s when you are at your lowest that God lifts you up. I remember those lines from  Footprints in the Sand:

One night I had a dream…

I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord, and Across the sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; One belonged to me, and the other to the Lord. When the last scene of my life flashed before us, I looked back at the footprints in the sand. I noticed that many times along the path of my life, There was only one set of footprints.

I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in my life This really bothered me, and I questioned the Lord about it. “Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, You would walk with me all the way; But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, There is only one set of footprints. I don’t understand why in times when I needed you the most, you should leave me.

The Lord replied, “My precious, precious child. I love you, and I would never, never leave you during your times of trial and suffering. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you.

These word often  remind me  to be always grateful for even the smallest blessing that happens in my life.

In times of our needs, we must look back and remember,  He was walking along with us, carrying us on His shoulder.  The times we thought we were alone, the times we thought we carried  the burden, the times we thought we were so helpless with things which we can’t avoid, the times of need, I believe those were the times He carried us through.

 

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I am grateful.

I am grateful to all those online friends who are following my blog and posting comments to my posts, and to those who click  “like” regularly too.  There is a feeling of warmth when you see people reacting, commenting and liking your thoughts.  I always say that sometimes the  “muse” goes on leave for a while and you can’t think of anything to write about. You have written about your one remaining dog, and your  cat and your garden and the blooms you are now enjoying. You have written about how it feels to be alone in your thoughts  and how happy you are to have your family around. You have written about  discovering new blogs and seeing those lovely places that they share.

It makes me smile.

It makes me smile to read the adventures and experiences of other bloggers, how they love sharing anything under the sun. It makes me smile to reach out and exchange thoughts with them. It makes me smile just being here. I have always said time and again that blogging has become a way of life. It has become part of the daily grind that we call life. When things get a little upsetting, I blog.  When things get a little stressful, I blog too. When things make me happy, I share it in cyberspace.   Our thoughts and actions define how we feel, how happy we are. Happiness comes naturally when we cultivate friendship in our own small way. It comes naturally when we interact with other people and make them smile too in the process. Little acts of kindness, some compassionate words to make one happy.

It gives meaning to my life.

Some of  you won’t probably agree on this one. Blogging for me is now a habit I can’t break, one good habit to journey through.  It’s been more than seven long years of blogging. It has somehow change my perspective, the way I see things through other bloggers’ eyes.

How is your blogging journey?

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It is quite amazing to see the local government at work.  It was an enjoyable visit to the OSCA (Office of Senior Citizens Affairs) to apply for my SC card.  It was a good twenty minutes wait then I got my official ID.  I am all set to enjoy the perks and privileges of a senior citizen….hooray!

Next I went to Philhealth for an update of my Member’s Data Record. I am now officially a non-paying member. Gone are the monthly payments of health premiums starting October  this year.  The commute going there was longer than the time I spent at their office, a mere five minutes. Seniors are always on the priority lanes allotted in each establishment. It’s quite nice to see and feel the difference.

It is indeed a blessing when the government truly works for you.

 

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It’s been  a long night. A lot of my friends and relatives saw the video of my interview last night. Come to think of it, I didn’t even tell them that there was a segment called Magic ng Pasko. I got hundreds of likes and several comments on the album I posted there. A generous friend took shots of the video and sent the photos to me.  It was the first episode in a series I think this Christmas season.  Here’s the hashtag that the GMA network used in this segment.

magic-ng-paskoThey  uploaded it on YouTube. It was done though in Tagalog so most of you won’t probably understand what’s been said. Anyway, I am posting it here for you to see. Not registering so well on TV I think, body fats are aplenty… haha!

Some say they got inspired by the story. Some say they admire the strength I had facing such a predicament. Some say they admire my faith amidst such trials.  I say that God’s graces are immeasurable. I think of what happened as a test of strength, how far one can endure, how far one can go on and how far one can  let the magic of Christmas stay alive in our hearts. It’s been seven long years and I know I am healed.

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