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Posts Tagged ‘a bit of myself’


I am in the middle of reading a book,  my second book of  Amanda Prowse called Will You Remember Me? This is actually my 94th book which I committed to read on my 2017 Goodreads Reading challenge. I didn’t purposely choose this but I could totally relate to the subject because it’s one topic that was so close to me a few years ago.

How do you say goodbye to your beloved family? How do you say goodbye to your close friends? How do you say goodbye to everyone?  This is about having that much-dreaded cancer.  When your days are numbered, how will you react?

I could totally relate to the story because almost eight years ago, I was in the same predicament.  The journey of knowing that you were not that well, the journey of accepting the truth that you have to undergo treatments to get well. I was in a quandary before if I must have that chemotherapy or not. Imagine being afraid that you were not 100% fit and your life may never be the same after the chemo but then you have to decide right there and then before everything is too late.  I am in remission now, thank  God. At times,  I am afraid when my immunity goes low and I have that cold which take a long time to heal. I haven’t totally  recaptured total wellness since I got sick. There are always times when  I feel weak and lethargic. I never let it defeat me though, I am claiming that those day are gone now.

There is no use crying over spilled  milk so people always say but the memory lingers. You remember those days when you can’t almost get up for a day or two after every session of chemotherapy. You remember those days when you can’t even hold a spoon properly because your hands ache  in the process. You remember those days when your arms don’t feel anything and they’re like heavy stones attached to your shoulder.

Being healthy is the best gift one could ever have but as we grow older we feel those aches and pains that go with old age.  Just enjoy these moments, moments of togetherness and bonding, joyful moments to remember. Deep in one’s heart, one could be happy  despite and in spite of.

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♫♪♫Sunday, sweet Sunday, with nothing to do,
Lazy and lovely, my one day with you…♪♫♪

It’s Sunday again. Time and the days really seem to fly. As usual, we went to  attend mass early at around 6am. It is always nice to wake up with the dawn and listen to the silence once a while.  I am having a LSS, humming those tunes all in my head.   I wonder why.

Have you ever kept a journal? I’ve been into keeping a journal   since my college days. I still have several blank journals that I’ve kept through the years. The first one I had is now tattered with the spine almost loose from the pages.  Nissa and some of my close friends know my penchant for keeping one so they give me those pretty  notebooks and colorful journals. Let me see, I think I still have more than a dozen unfilled ones  from small notebooks to really thick pages. Sometimes, they are just too lovely to write doodles on.  Lately though, I got hooked more on reading than writing but now and then I open my thick journal to update it.  The journal entries are a smorgasbord of quotes, dreams, wishes, recipes and what have you.  They’re more like unrestrained thoughts most of the time, nothing really that serious but sometimes they border  on  how life is all about, a cathartic release  about angst in life.

my journal entry, page….?

For the past several days, I’ve been blogging about one subject dear to me – blogging.  Have you ever thought that blogging is a free-form  diary of some sort, only it is made available in cyberspace?  We share ourselves through a blog  but we gain friends in the process. A journal is more private. It is bringing your thoughts in the open but most entries are for your eyes alone.

How’s your Sunday?

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Sometimes I think I am sharing too much in cyberspace.

Probably you would say, “me too”.  This thing called blogging has taken up a lot of my time sometimes I wonder if other still read my posts.  Are we all too busy to blog, too lazy to comment, too indifferent to click like  or just enjoy reading posts from other bloggers?  We have those times when the screen in front of us remains a blank for so long while we are thinking of what to share and to blog about.  There are times when we all get too enthusiastic to write about the happenings in our lives. Are we sharing too much?

What do you think?

As I have said a long time ago, this blog started as a sort of catharsis for me when I was taken ill almost eight years ago. I needed an outlet to write my thoughts  and share my journey.  It helped me a lot during those sleepless nights and endless laboratory tests and doctor visits. It is a diary that was published online. I am glad of those friends who still follow me until today, fellow bloggers that I follow too and the new ones who recently found my blogs (yes I have five but not all of them are updated).  I am more inclined to see photos of different places  and people shared about by other bloggers.  I am not fond of selfies though. I’d rather post photos of my garden blooms or my family members.

I  take joy in reminiscing, going back to old times and places that made me laugh.  Life is sometimes full of angst that we   have to bear so I’ll choose to remember the happy times, those blessed days  that made me smile and remember things with fondness, the days that laughter and happiness reign in the heart.

So far for Dreams and Escapes, I’ve written 1,955 posts excluding this one.  I am growing old with this blog but I like how it is turning out.

My question remains, are we sharing too much?

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She was born premature,  eight months before I was induced by my OB Gynecologist because of pre-eclampsia.  We were worried she would not make it because she didn’t grow to be  a normal baby while she was  in my womb and was born at only 3.9 lbs. She could not even take an ounce of milk during the first few months. She was left in the hospital for about a month before we were able to take her home at 4.1 lbs. So small and tiny.

She is also a mother now. Nate is already four years old. When I look back,  I think of those early days of her life but how lucky and blessed we were that she grew up okay and well.

Last March 7, the whole family attended the garden wedding of my niece. They went  on leave from work so we could attend. We took pictures of course, a lot of Nate and some of us all together.  Here’s our latest picture together. I call it Mother-Daughter Team.

Nissa and me at he wedding…

Weddings are lovely, a promise of love to keep and to hold.

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Back in 2013, October 27 to be exact, I made a blog post saying thank you for all the blessings God gave me the past years of my life. It remained my most read post until now. I am just grateful for all those blogger friends who read, liked and posted comments  on that post. It is nice to be remembered too because it was your birthday.  I am also grateful for all those times other bloggers paid a visit to my humble blog, thank you.

Birthdays are special, don’t you think? You remember and celebrate the day you came into this world and saw the light of day.  You celebrate with your family and friends no matter how simple the celebration is.  You remember fond memories of earlier and other birthdays in your life. I turned sixty last October 27, 2017 finally becoming and officially being called a senior citizen. I need not blog about the perks we have as seniors here because I wrote about them earlier on if I remember. It’s nice to be called a senior in almost all business establishments that you go to. The downside of it is that these are those times when you also feel those aches and pains of getting older. The plus side of course is you get to be a lot wiser too ( I suppose).  You also enjoy the gift of family and grand kids if you have some. We were blessed with Nate one November morning four years ago. He is growing up to be a very smart kid.

By the way, I’d like to greet a good friend here, Pete Johnson who has followed me for a couple of years I guess. He never fails to appreciate and comment on almost all of my posts since then. It is his birthday today, this blog post  is also  for him. You can find his blog aptly called beetleypete here.   He has a sizable number of followers and often blog about his dog Ollie. I am sure you would also enjoy reading his posts. If you are reading this Pete, I’d like to wish you a “HAPPY BIRTHDAY”.  Go easy on the sweets though, we are not getting any younger.

It’s another year to be thankful for.

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One of my batch mates  made each of us an individual photo from way back  – during  our high school graduation and several years after at one of our reunions. High school life was one of the best chapters  in our growing up years.

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It’s always an early morning mass for us during Sundays. I usually wake up earlier than 5am to prepare for Sunday breakfast before we go the the 6:30 am mass. It s always nice to attend Sunday masses early. The weather is cool and the church is not too full. It was a good homily with Christ’ temptation at the mountain for a start. The good priest even quoted a popular song from long ago. It’s the first Sunday of Lent

It was written in Tagalog, sorry for that. It only mean that a lot of lives were destroyed because of greed and temptation. I like it though, the message is so clear. Keep yourself away from “tukso”.

Kayrami nang winasak na tahanan
Kayrami ng matang pinaluha
Kayrami ng pusong sinugatan
O, tukso, layuan mo ako

We dropped by the grocery store right after the mass then bought a kilo of sweet potato and saging saba at the wet market for snacks. Since Sunday is always a lazy day for us, and it means no preparation of elaborate meals, we also bought dinuguan for lunch from our suki (fave vendor). They sell lechon and paksiw na lechon too. Lechon is a whole roasted pig. They make the best so far.

Sundays are also family days for us. We spend them together at home reading, listening to music or just talking  or having conversations and kwentos. We catch up on things that happened during the week whether at work or at home. Sometimes, we also do grocery shopping on Sundays.

One of my nieces is getting  married on Tuesday, she’s the youngest of my oldest brother’s kids. They are born-again Christians so they have a different kind of nuptial ceremony from us. We are looking forward though to it.

Do you also spend Sunday like we do? Is it a lazy day for you too?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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