My Last Difficult Goodbye

So I am trying another Jetpack app this morning. In a few days, WordPress would have another algorithm. Good thing I already installed it on my tab.

They were asking what was my last difficult goodbye. It was when I lost my younger brother Alden last May 15, 2022 due to colo-rectal cancer, the same ailment that my oldest brother had back in 2003 and mine was colon cancer last July 2009. My oldest brother and I had gone through chemotherapy sessions, me with oral chemo tablets too and my brother with radiation treatment. Both of us underwent sigmoid surgery before chemotherapy while Alden chose an alternative cure and he was given three more years after being diagnosed. He was worried about the additional financial burden to the whole family. We regularly sent them financial help back then.

It was one Friday afternoon May of last year that Nissa and I went home to visit him. The day before that, no hospital in our place would accept him. When he reached home, he could no longer stand and had to be fed by his wife. We reached Pangasinan around 9pm and their driver, a cousin of ours fetched us at the bus station. My heart bled for him when I saw how he was, no longer talking but just nodding his head as I whispered in his ears. Sunday morning, that was May 15, Almeda, his wife woke me up and told me that Alden felt so cold. They called an ambulance but we talked about it. I thought it was a useless exercise bringing him to the hospital again. Some of our relatives came over to visit him. Nissa spent the longest time talking to him that Sunday morning we were due to go back to Manila. We were somewhere in NLEX when I received a text from my oldest brother that Alden is gone. I felt that was the longest trip we had.

It is so sad to lose a family member. The sadness could not be quantified and the sense of emptiness is greatly felt. That Sunday morning when we left for Manila was the most difficult goodbye. Memories with Alden will always be treasured.

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Something To Think About

Cling to your faith like it’s the last leaf, hold on to the fact that getting well is not in your hands but in God’s ❤🙏💛.

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An Image In The Mirror

Nissa told me that I’ve been through so much before and I am still here. Standing still used to be my favorite words for they connote being brave, not afraid of challenges, relying on a benevolent God to see me through all the problems and adversities in life. Standing still and facing life with all its angst and curve balls it throws my way.

In our main bedroom, we have this floor to ceiling cabinet and the sliding doors are made of mirror. It makes the room appear larger. Before I was so conscious of looking into it but over the years, it is as if it is another wall in the bedroom. Lately though I looked thorougly and what did I see? It was an image of a somehow harassed and afraid woman with white hair at the front of her head, some wrinkles finally appearing on her face and an image of a growing old woman who at 66 is finding life with so much challenge.

I ‘d like to think I could face all these challenges but sometimes I worry about what will happen. Yes, this is another test probably that I have to pass with flying colors. Endurance, faith, courage.

It’s January 15th,the Feast Day of our Señor Sto. Niño, we celebrate it every third Sunday of January as approved by the Holy See. It’s fiesta in Obet’s place and our town in Pangasinan.

Viva Pit Señor Sto. Niño. Ipanalangin mo kami.

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Not Good

Oh my, on top of my pending cataract operation because my glucose is not normal yet, here’s another news that I have to bear with faith and prayers.

I finally had an appointment with an audiologist yesterday and the verdict is not so good. Forty five minutes of testing. It seemed like I was playing with a joy stick when I underwent three kinds of tests. I was made to listen to different density of sounds – loud, normal, soft and faint which I could not almost hear. Every time the headphone🎧 sounds in my ears, I have to press the stick once. The audiologist discussed the result with me after testing. It seems that I am already classified under severe loss of hearing. The audiologist said I really need hearing aid now. It could no longer be corrected. He quoted a price, 60,000 for both ears and that is already discounted. So expensive. I’ve had already spent so much for my medications.

I’ve been told that it only takes six months before the density of hearing loss advances. I’ll come back to him once I’ve seen my ENT on Monday. Whatever she says, I have to abide by it. There is a need to measure my ears via a mold which will be used for the hearing aid. I am not yet done with other issues on my health and here comes another. I am grateful though that I reached this age despite undergoing hysterectomy, surgical sigmoid operation, chemotherapy and kidney bypass a few years ago.

KEEPING THE FAITH AND TRUST IN GOD.

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It’s Holy Wednesday

It seems like I no longer want to go outside from my comfort zone. Yesterday was only the second time I had my hair trim since the pandemic began. I have to wait for almost an hour before it was my turn at the parlor shop. The hair stylist asked me if I want to have my hair colored back to black. I told her I am waiting for it to turn all white. She smiled and I told her to remove the curls. My hair has that natural curl when it grows a little longer.

Overjoyed to see several fruits. I bought two kilos of mangoes. They are in season now because it is already summer. I haven’t tasted star apple the past three years so I also bought a kilo. It might take sometime again before I could go out. I am not that eager anyway, there are now so many alternatives in buying what one needs. Even medical prsecriptions are filled online. One of these days, I need to go back to my doctor though before my medical insurance expires on my 66th birthday six months from now.

It is Holy Wednesday and everything is quiet. Gone are those so noisy cars of candidates in the coming election. They’ll probably be back after Easter Sunday. A few more days to go before the much awaited election day.

Would you believe? I harvest two or three guavas everyday and eat them in the garden while I am watering the plants. One good thing about having a guava tree. Our lone papaya is still bearing fruit and every two or three months, I get to harvest one or two. Such is a world of a gardener. There is always something to look forward to. I harvested jackfruit three days ago and cooked it in coconut cream yesterday. Since we try to avoid eating meat during this Semana Santa, it is perfect with fried fish.

Have I told you that Nissa has Nate vaccinated too? He had his second dose last month. Next schoolyear, face to face classes would be implemented. They could not move yet to their new house because they have decided to add two more rooms and a balcony plus cabinets and bedroom dividers which were not included in their original plan. It is better to fix everything first before they transfer. Construction would probably take six months.

Something happened to my cellphone last night. I was trying to charge it but it didn’t and “reboot” appeared. I lost all the photos in my gallery, good thing I have several albums saved on Facebook and the photos I have on my tab. That was more than 700 photos I lost. I need to register again to our Cainta app so I could show it when I go to the mall.

Have a blessed HOLY WEDNESDAY🙏🙏🙏👏👏👏

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Oh Yeah!

I have these one Catholic page and two Catholic groups at Facebook of which I am an admin. Yesterday one of my co-admins featured me at Sambuhay Interaktib, a Society of St. Paul offshoot from their program every week.

Here’s what she posted at our site.

One of my grade schoool classmates who is a doctor disagreed with the word remission. According to her “remission of cancer means reduction of the signs and symptoms of cancer. Arlene is cancer free for many years now. Not on remission because cancer no longer exists within her. God is so great”.

All these years I also thought that once you have cancer and you get well, you are in remission. Now I learned another medical word with its true meaning.

I do enjoy being an admin of Sambuhay Interaktib. I get to meet SSP (Society of St. Paul) priests and brothers along the way and some members who work mostly outside the country.

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Saturday Notes

I ordered meat from Monterey for Christmas. They said orders are quite long. Good thing I ordered this early. I also contacted my suki vendor to buy me potato marbles and sugar beets. They’re some of the ingredients I need come Christmas eve or what we call Noche Buena.

I am plainly devastated looking at the photos as a result of typhoon Odette. Many towns and provinces in the Visayas and part of Mindanao are greatly affected. Many houses were destroyed. Our VP and the office of the VP have been ready even before the super typhoon entered the Philippine area of responsibility. But where is the government? Digong is sleeping on the job again. He said there is not enough or no money for the typhoon victims because of their expenses in the pandemic. What a big lie🤨😒🤮. He said a few days ago that he has sacks and sacks of money to spend during the campaign for the election 2022. Is that more important than the calamities visiting our country? I never hear of our Dept. Of Social Welfare and Development doing its job nowadays. What is visible are the volunteers from VP Leni’s camp and the numerous individuals helping through their donations.

WHERE is the president?

It’s my youngest brother’s birthday today. Since they live in the US, he will celebrate tonight. We are advanced by twelve hours. We got to talk via Messenger early this morning. It’s nice to catch up with each other again.

We are on the third day of SIMBANG GABI , a nine-day novena in honor of Mama Mary which will last on the 24th. I attend the nightly Simbang Gabi masses.

It’s seven days to go before Christmas🌲💒🎄☃️

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Seeing Each Other Again

Àfter ten years.

Yes, the last we had one physically was at the Sto. Domingo Church.

I’ve been an admin of The Filipino Catholic for more than ten years now. Last night,we finally had a gathering (online edition via Zoom), two hours of fun, laughter and prayers. Lovely meeting old and new friends – priceless camaraderie. We are bound by common faith, a genuinely fulfilling belief in our Lord Jesus Christ.

My mentor, Fr. Louie is a Dominican priest assigned at the University of Santo Tomas (my alma mater). We are planning to make this a regular one now. Next would be during Lent.

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It’s A New Page

We used to have just this group chat. Funny, but in all the months since Interaktib started, we have somehow formed a community of fellow Catholics from all over the country. Some are staying abroad, some are active in their respective parishes. We chat, post some feed backs on the twice-a-week program of Sambuhay Interaktib. Actually, we’re like one big family.

Yesterday, my friend Min formed a page for all of us including the priests and seminarians involved in the production of the program. Min is the one I have written about in my post Solitude. It is a private group and I am helping her with another member as admins.

I have been an admin at our Catholic page The Filipino Catholic for more than ten years now since its inception so it is a little easier to navigate our new page. We are actually growing as one family, sharing the same faith. I am glad I am gaining new friends in the process.

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Blessed Carlo Acutis

Culled from the net

This was the photo they selected during his beatification.

I am sure some of you have heard of Carlo Acutis. 

“Blessed Carlo Acutis (3 May 1991 – 12 October 2006) was an Italian Catholic computer programmer. He was best known for documenting Eucharistic miracles around the world and cataloguing them all onto a website that he created in the months before his death from leukemia. He was noted for his cheerfulness and his computer skills as well as for his deep devotion to the Eucharist which became a core theme of his life.“- from Wikipedia

I only heard of him a  day after his scheduled beatification. Last night on live feed, I witnessed his beatification at 10:30 am (Italy time but was last night here in our country). He was beatified at the Basilica of Saint Francis in Assisi, Italy.  Even though the mass was in Italian, I cried while watching it.  He is the first millennial declared as blessed.  He  was born in London on May 3, 1991  and died  last October 12, 2008. He contracted leukemia and offered his pain both for St. Benedict XVI and for the Universal Church. 

Here’s two of his lovely and meaningful quotes:

“I offer all the suffering I will have to suffer for the Lord, for the Pope, and the Church”. 

“the more Eucharist we receive, the more we will become like Jesus, so that on this earth we will have a foretaste of heaven”.

Here’ s the miracle attributed to Carlo Acutis’ prayers:  (from the catholictelegraph.com)

The beatification of Carlo Acutis took place Oct. 10 after a miracle attributed to his prayers and the grace of God. In Brazil, a boy named Mattheus was healed from a serious birth defect called an annular pancreas after he and his mother asked Acutis to pray for his healing.

Mattheus was born in 2009 with a serious condition that caused him difficulty eating and serious abdominal pain. He was unable to keep any food in his stomach, and vomited constantly.

By the time Mattheus was nearly four years old, he weighed only 20 pounds, and lived on a vitamin and protein shake, one of the few things his body could tolerate. He was not expected to live long.

His mother, Luciana Vianna, had spent years praying for his healing.

At the same time, a priest friend of the family, Fr. Marcelo Tenorio, learned online about the life of Carlo Acutis, and began praying for his beatification. In 2013 he obtained a relic from Carlo’s mother, and he invited Catholics to a Mass and prayer service in his parish, encouraging them to ask Acutis’ intercession for whatever healing they might need.

Mattheus’ mother heard about the prayer service. She decided she would ask Acutis to intercede for her son. In fact, in the days before the prayer service, Vianna made a novena for Acutis’ intercession, and explained to her son that they could ask Acutis to pray for his healing.

On the day of the prayer service, she took Mattheus and other family members to the parish.

Fr. Nicola Gori, the priest responsible for promoting Acutis’ sainthood cause, told Italian media what happened next:

“On October 12, 2013, seven years after Carlo’s death, a child, affected by a congenital malformation (annular pancreas), when it was his turn to touch the picture of the future blessed, expressed a singular wish, like a prayer: ‘I wish I could stop vomiting so much.’ Healing began immediately, to the point that the physiology of the organ in question changed,” Fr. Gori said.

On the way home from the Mass, Mattheus told his mother that he was already cured. At home, he asked for French fries, rice, beans, and steak – the favorite foods of his brothers.

He ate everything on his plate. He didn’t vomit. He ate normally the next day, and the next. Vianna took Mattheus to physicians, who were mystified by Mattheus’ healing.

Mattheus’ mother told Brazilian media she sees in the miracle an opportunity to evangelize.

“Before, I didn’t even use my cell phone, I was averse to technology. Carlo changed my way of thinking, he was known for talking about Jesus on the Internet, and I realized that my testimony would be a way to evangelize and give hope to other families. Today I understand that everything new can be good, if we use it for good, ” she told reporters.

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