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Archive for the ‘silence speaks’ Category


I remember my last session of chemotherapy done on a December morning at the UST Hospital Benavidez Cancer Institute.  It was a Tuesday, the  Feast of the Immaculate Conception.  My medical oncologist called it my graduation.  Graduation from six cycles of chemotherapy and oral chemo drugs, graduation from the pain brought by the IV injected every three weeks, graduation from various laboratory tests before each cycle of chemo. But it did not end there. I have to go back to my surgical oncologist for regular check-up until five years ago when I totally lifted everything up to God that I am truly cured  and well.  It was a nice feeling to be able to pick up and do regular routines without  having to worry about one’s health, without having to worry about doctor and hospital visits. I hate hospitals. I can’t stand waiting too long outside a doctor’s office with other patients who have their own stories to tell.   Seeing other patients is depressing enough.

When you are sick, sometimes depression sets in but your belief and faith that you will be cured  of your illness helps to combat those feelings. When you believe that you will get well, you will.  I started this blog sharing a bit of what I went through more than seven years ago. I wonder sometimes about those friends I met here who underwent the same journey as I did. Where are they now? I haven’t heard from them for quite a while.  There was a time when some of my posts would be full of sharing about their plights as cancer patients and survivors or some members of the family sharing about it. I miss those because I would want to know how they are now.

Some people say things happen for a reason. I believe though that God allows us to feel the pain of being sick so we’ll get closer to Him. It’s when you are at your lowest that God lifts you up. I remember those lines from  Footprints in the Sand:

One night I had a dream…

I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord, and Across the sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; One belonged to me, and the other to the Lord. When the last scene of my life flashed before us, I looked back at the footprints in the sand. I noticed that many times along the path of my life, There was only one set of footprints.

I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in my life This really bothered me, and I questioned the Lord about it. “Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, You would walk with me all the way; But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, There is only one set of footprints. I don’t understand why in times when I needed you the most, you should leave me.

The Lord replied, “My precious, precious child. I love you, and I would never, never leave you during your times of trial and suffering. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you.

These word often  remind me  to be always grateful for even the smallest blessing that happens in my life.

In times of our needs, we must look back and remember,  He was walking along with us, carrying us in His shoulder.  The times we thought we were alone, the times we thought we carried  the burden, the times we thought we were so helpless with things which we can’t avoid, the times of need, I believe those were the times He carried us through.

 

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I don’t know the exact  English word for this fruit that we locally call balimbing. It is  just simply called star fruit. It has a scientific name Averrhoa carambola  I  chanced upon it in one of the fruit stalls near the church so I bought a kilo which sells at P20 pesos. I  haven’t tasted this fruit for decades, it is really not that popular. The taste is a little bland, not even sour or sweet but is is juicy. You have to dip it in a little salt before you eat it.

balimbing

Did you know that this fruit is associated with  politicians here in our country? Balimbing is also  a slang  word for a traitor or a turncoat. This is because the this  has many sides. Politicians who change parties or loyalties based on who’s currently has authority are frequently called balimbing. And there are plenty of them here, almost all of them actually. They align themselves to who is in power at the moment disregarding the previous political party where they are affiliated.  It is such a shame really since most politicians in power are corrupt  and traditional politicians make false promises, buy votes just to win  and perpetuate themselves in power.   Oh yes, they are called balimbing.

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They are like thieves in the night, burying a dictator at the Libingan ng mga Bayani. and deliberately hid  the information  from all of us Filipinos.  Those who were victims of the atrocities of the Marcos regime, those who died and lost their lives because of Martial Law, those who were tortured, those who lost their family members, you are the  real heroes and not Marcos.

It is so disturbing that this is happening in front of our eyes with the consent of the Armed Forces  of the Philippines and the Philippine National Police. The judicial process was completely disregarded. There was no respect for the rule of law.  Marcos was a  murderer, a dictator and a thief and it makes me sad that this government allowed his burial at a place where heroes should be buried. He is no hero.

They have changed the course of history. These are tough times for us and the people are alone in the battle because the government who should protect us  sided with the thieves. As they say, “pambayad utang” for all the favors  the Marcos family did during the last election. They are still the most influential family on planet Philippines.

Ibon mang may layang lumipad
Kulungin mo at umiiyak
Bayan pa kayang sakdal-dilag
Ang ‘di magnasang makaalpas

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It’s cold

And the morning breeze

Is like a soft kiss

On my cheeks.

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It’s been  a long night. A lot of my friends and relatives saw the video of my interview last night. Come to think of it, I didn’t even tell them that there was a segment called Magic ng Pasko. I got hundreds of likes and several comments on the album I posted there. A generous friend took shots of the video and sent the photos to me.  It was the first episode in a series I think this Christmas season.  Here’s the hashtag that the GMA network used in this segment.

magic-ng-paskoThey  uploaded it on YouTube. It was done though in Tagalog so most of you won’t probably understand what’s been said. Anyway, I am posting it here for you to see. Not registering so well on TV I think, body fats are aplenty… haha!

Some say they got inspired by the story. Some say they admire the strength I had facing such a predicament. Some say they admire my faith amidst such trials.  I say that God’s graces are immeasurable. I think of what happened as a test of strength, how far one can endure, how far one can go on and how far one can  let the magic of Christmas stay alive in our hearts. It’s been seven long years and I know I am healed.

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It’s a day wasted. I was supposed to file my SSS retirement forms  today but when I got there at exactly 8am, the slots for thirty people are already filled up. What a shame!  The branch near our place opens at 7am and it was already full when I arrived. To think that inquiries and other transactions are categorized in five windows. Maybe tomorrow I have to be there and line up at 6am so I could be included in their 30 slots for filing of retirement/pension benefits.  Too bad really. Government services in these areas are still so slow.

We are now officially under the amihan season with cold winds and long nights. The colder climate is always a welcome thing from the months of November until February the following year.  It’s during November though that we are visited by stronger  and more powerful typhoons  and  weather disturbances.  There is a tropical storm named Meari  being monitored by PAGASA and  another tropical depression both on the eastern side of Luzon. I do hope they won’t become strong typhoons and won’t bring too much rain in those areas.  Come to think of it, we are sometimes visited by typhoons too during December and they are as strong as those we usually have during November.  It’s  cloudy today.

Our country is teetering on the edge.  News says that as of the first week of November 2016, there have been  over 4,700 deaths, both from legitimate police operations and vigilante-style or unexplained killings since the president  assumed office last July. It seems that this government is more focused on war on drugs than on other aspects like the economy which is slowly sliding down.  And he is saying that these killings  might reach up to 30,000.  Again my question is where are we going?  Investors’ confidence is at stake here.  How could we  encourage foreign investments  if this government is only focused on one thing?  How could we solve poverty which is the main reason why people down the line are into drugs?  He is now the head a  sovereign state and must not only focus on domestic issues but on foreign relations as well. He is against dictatorship but is aligned with the Marcoses.  How could you believe in a foul-mouth, slut-shaming, uncouth and boorish man at the realm?  Please God save our country. We are being divided instead of being one as a nation.  It’s so sad 😦

 

 

 

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1,864 post this one excluded.

1,862 followers to date.

It’s a coincidence maybe, having almost an  equal number of followers  and number of posts.  Well, blogging has become not just a hobby  but a way of life. It has become something you look forward to almost every day. It has become something that is  quite a joy to do.

I thought I’ll never reach more than seven years of blogging (7 years and almost four months to be exact).  It’s been a long journey and I truly appreciate that wonderful stats on my blog. I truly appreciate those I made friends with over the years following me and making comments too.

Some people think that you just can’t form a genuine friendship online. True, it’s kind of different when you are just in front of your computer, looking at several posted pictures and reading interesting blogs but you can and sometimes the friendship is even deeper than what you think. True, you can pour your heart out in the open when you are just talking to a face on the computer screen but then the depth of the conversation and sharing becomes your springboard to take that leap – to bring you to that wonderful world called friendship.

Then the true joys of finally meeting will leave you breathless and happy and you wish it would not just be for a few hours or for a day…..you wish you could stretch the hours and capture those wide smiles and warm hugs forever.

And when you finally bridge that gap, it is even more beautiful and lovely.

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