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Archive for the ‘life’ Category


The sun is hiding its face again. It is so dark outside but it is not raining.  Early this morning, I saw a lone sparrow  atop the electric line of Meralco. I wished it was nearer so I could take a photo.  I seldom see those sparrows now. When we still had our avocado tree, I used to hear them sing every morning.  I miss the sounds of the early morning. Just fixed the branches of our Bougainvillea which were  toppled by the winds. One branch is presently flowering.

I harvested Calamansi and Blue Ternatea flowers for our neighbor whose husband died a few days ago. We talked of so many things – about life and dying, our kids, the economy and the events of the past days  during her husband’s wake. I taught her how to cook blue rice and add  few drops of vinegar when cooking rice so it could last for at least day without refrigerating the unused portion.  The small cap of the vinegar will do.

I am waiting for my Blue Ternatea to produce  pods so I could also share them with some friends. The bright blue flowers are nice additions to the garden.

 

 

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Had a shut-eye at 9 pm. Woke up at 11:30 pm to wait for Josef and Jovy to come home since they had overtime work. Had dinner around 12 am. Went to bed for a while then the rains came. And the alarming winds.

I didn’t anticipate this. These winds are definitely stronger than I imagined. We are only under typhoon signal no. 1. I worry about those kababayans in the north, some provinces are under typhoon signal no. 4.  I talked to my brother in Pangasinan last night and they didn’t have electricity.

I watched the news until around 4 am, when I woke up at 5:30 am, there was no cable. I forgot to buy batteries for my transistor radio. The internet is the only reliable source of news. Kudos to our weather bureau PAGASA which  updates us with the typhoon  every three hours and hourly news at their online site. This typhoon covers a wide range of provinces in the North and Central Luzon, it includes Metro Manila too. In the Visayas and some parts of Mindanao, they are having  monsoon rains at the moment.

Praying that this will end soon.

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And here I thought I would be able to maintain blogging every day this September but it’s not to be. I missed writing  posts for two days.

I went to the  wake of our neighbor who had heart attack. I almost got lost finding where the Loyola Memorial Chapels was. Wrong  info/direction from  his daughter.  Anyway, I reached the place correctly when I inquired from the church workers at St. John the Baptist Parish Church in Taytay, Rizal.  The place was clean, so wide and away from traffic.

It was an unpleasant surprise finding your neighbor who is dead at the age of 77. He was too young to die. And speaking of dying, there is always that unspoken  grief that you feel when a loved one dies. One cannot quantify the loneliness you feel that you wouldn’t be able to see your loved one again except in memories.  Good memories are kept in your heart. The photo album may not suffice, spoken words of sympathy may not be enough but we go on with life in the long run. The pain maybe lessened  but it would always be there.

There are stages of grief that we have to go though.  First there is shock and denial. We could not readily accept that it happened. Then comes the pain and guilt. You wish you could have told them often how  much you love them. You wish you could have talk to them about their problems  The anger at what happened comes next then depression or loneliness and these depends how strong you are to face such.  Acceptance follows after a while. But some of us do not always experience these stages. We go through life like our right arm is gone. We go through the days remembering, always remembering the good times.

“Death ends a life, not a relationship.” 

I remember that line when I read Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom. It was one of the best books I’ve ever come across. Emotional but inspirational as well.  And “once you learn how to die, you’ll learn how to live”. 

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What happened to me?

My mind is blank. Oh no, that’s a lie. It is actually full of thoughts at the moment.  Would you believe, I spent  a big part of the day reading news and watching videos about politics here. I feel like I am punishing myself listening to all those lies, reading unpalatable comments, watching a little of everything.  I had a good exchange of ideas with a former office mate who is now working in another bank. She calls me “ma’am” and I  told her she doesn’t have to.  Nasanay eh (she got used to it when we were together).

Finally, The Supreme Court made a decision on Sen. Trillanes’ filing a TRO and they didn’t approve it saying the words of Duterte and the Armed Forces of the Philippines (AFP) they would not arrest Sen. Trillanes without a warrant  would hold. They however referred it back to the Regional Trial Courts, one of which has set a hearing  on the 13th September.  Until now though, Sen. Trillanes is still at the Senate grounds and the AFP said they will still arrest him. Mad, mad world. I don’t understand  it. I am afraid Duterte  won’t honor his words. Instead of focusing on the more serious problems of the country, he’d rather engage in politicizing the AFP and  his attention is solely on Sen. Trillanes.  I pity our country, I pity its people. The poor  in our midst are hungry, they barely have enough to eat because of the rising prices of basically all commodities, add that to the very high cost of fuel and the low exchange rate of the Philippine peso to the US dollar. The boat is sinking, It’s sad.

I console myself by finishing two more books. Right, they are billionaire stories again. They are  quite easy read finishing a book in a day.  At the moment I am again listening to various artists, 70’s and 80’s music this time and a spattering of instrumental music by Percy Faith and Mantovani Orchestra. Music soothes  the soul, right?

There is a strong typhoon coming this week and another one has just left the country.  I hope it would not be that strong as predicted.  Although the eye of the typhoon would not possibly hit Metro Manila, I am still afraid of the rain that comes with it. Gosh, that would be our 15th weather disturbance this year.

I am distracted by this disco music. Bye for now.

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Saying Goodbye


You smile

But it does not reach your eyes

Are we thinking of the same thing?

I know,

the pain throbs and it makes you cry.

I wouldn’t say I know how it feels

losing a beloved  dad.

I was in the same boat years ago.

And I still remember the days

he was around.

We dream

We reminisce

We remember

The old days are gone

But deep within

We’ll treasure them and will turn back

To those moments

When  they were so near.

We could barely touch the wounds inside

But they remind us always,

Love would lead us there

Somehow.

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I just updated our Catholic page at Facebook when I came home from the 6:30 am mass in our Parish. I was thrilled to see these readings right on Nissa’s birthday come September 28. First reading is Ecclesiastes 3: 1-11.

1For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:2a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;3a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;4a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;5a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;6a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;7a time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;8a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.9What gain has the worker from his toil?10I have seen the business that God has given to the sons of men to be busy with.11He has made everything beautiful in its time; also he has put eternity into man’s mind, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.

I always love the Ecclesiastes readings. It tells us about how life is, how we go on with it and how we should face all those adversities and challenges that go our way. Life is not perfect, we all know that but there is always time for everything. There is always time to enjoy life, time to laugh and time to cry.

Last night, I finished the last page of the book Under Rose-Tainted Skies by Louise  Gornall, a first-timer on my list of books.

One thing that first attracted me to it is not the summary but the photo cover. I haven’t read a YA book for so many months now, then came this. I love it.

Can you imagine yourself being afraid of public places and so particular about cleanliness and hygiene that your life is not  normal?

The book focuses on anxiety disorder, OCD and agoraphobia. They are mental health issues that none of us know about. Self inflicted wounds find its place in a teenager’s life. How could one empathize with a sickness that  you can’t see?

This is the first time I’ve read about agoraphobia.  I remember  a daughter of our neighbor who is bipolar. She has been in and out of the hospital some years ago. There were times when we just hear loud shouts from her. When she is in a good mood, you can talk to her about anything under the sun.

This book is not for everyone . I was curious what goes in someone’s mind if he or she has anxiety disorder. How does the family cope  with it? How do you deal with someone with OCD?

 

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Yesterday, amidst all those news about Sen. Trillanes, this came up on my news feed. We Filipinos know that inflation is rising since Duterte took office more than two years ago but this is an overwhelming and sad scenario. Why we have come to this, your guess is as good as mine. The ordinary Filipino is finding it hard to make both ends meet.

Imagine, we are the highest in the region. And that lowly poor’s man’s meal galunggong is now being imported. To think we are surrounded by hundreds of islands yet we import fish that came from our own shores. We are an agricultural country and we are importing rice too.  Back in the sixties and seventies, we were even teaching how rice should be successfully grown via the International Rice Research Institute.   Other Southeast Asian regions have benefited from research and technology but where are we now? Our poor farmers are still struggling.

Going back to this inflation rate, some people think  that the higher the percentage is, the more robust is our economy. I say, they don’t even read  and understand the news.

Sad Philippines.

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