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Posts Tagged ‘thoughts’


All these years since I started blogging, I’ve written about Dad usually on his death anniversary and his birthday. Mom I think has forgotten that today is Dad’s  97th birthday. She forgets so many things now unless you remind her.

Dad left us one Wednesday night in December 2007. After so many years battling with ESRD (end stage renal disease), I thought we could still spend another Christmas with him despite the hardships we all faced while he had those dialysis sessions twice a week six months before he died.  Until now, sometimes I wonder if dialysis is really helpful . They drain your blood and put it back without all the nutrients it has accumulated the past days. Then another session of taking so many medicines so you could gain your strength before the next scheduled dialysis.  At his age when he died (he was almost 85), those sessions at the dialysis center kept him weak but we had to do the last recourse because we wanted him to still be around with us.

You know that kind of remembrance where you smile at the thought of those long ago days and you’re sad at the same time because you lost a loved one.

My youngest brother made this photo collage last year. When dad died, he collated all the photos in his possession and brought  home the Kodak Easy Share (digital picture frame) that we  shared to family members and friends who came to visit us. Just like me, he is a keeper of memories.

When Multiply closed shop, he copied all the photos I uploaded there and told me that anytime I needed them, he could send them to me.

Wherever you are Dad, happy birthday. I miss you….still!

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Woke up a little late because I went back to bed after Josef left for work at 5 am.  What a cold morning, perfect time to have that green tea while watering and inspecting the plants in the garden.

I harvested dried pods of blue ternatea to give to friends when they come over. The two vines I planted have so many green pods and flowers and they are nice covers from outside. They are happily climbing my steel matting. I have two dried red okra ready for planting. A cousin wants to try planting too. When I posted those pictures of my red okra, a lot of people reacted asking, “is it edible”? Of course, it is. It is just like the green one only in a different color.

Some months ago, I got some dried Zinnia flowers at the park near the house. Just planted them this morning. I do hope, they will thrive.  Jom, our good neighbor gave me three cuttings of African tea and I put them in two empty bottles with water. They are now sprouting leaves.  I’ve tasted a freshly brewed cup before. It tasted great.

 

I wonder where I’m going to plant these once they grow a little sturdy. Lack of space is the problem although these are not bushy plants. They are medicinal too.

And here’s something I love about gardening.

The glory of gardening: hands in the dirt, head in the sun, heart with nature. To nurture a garden is to feed not just  the body, but the soul. – Alfred Austin

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Do you keep promises?

How are you at fulfilling promises? Either they’re promises to yourself or promises to people you love.

Back when I was still working at the UST Library during my student days in university, I met this guy who told me casually with a smile on his face, “promises are not made to be broken”.  Every time I am about to promise myself of this and that and assure my friends of something that I have to do, I remember those lines. I am more familiar with the lines, “promises are made to be broken”. 

New year’s resolutions are quite similar. They are promises to yourself that you wish to fulfill but sometimes forget in the process. They are words that played in your head for so long but you can’t keep. I’ve said before that I am not good at new year’s resolutions. I don’t make a list of them.  It would be nice though if at the end of the year you have fulfilled some promises to yourself. It would be lovely to look back, think of the struggles you have made and tasting the bliss of triumph in your soul. It would be beautiful when they make you smile and make you inspired to go on with life the way it should.

I saved these lines which I find so uplifting and try to post it every year when New Year comes. A good reminder on what life is all about.

Roy Lessin  from his book Meet Me In the Meadow

HAPPY AND BLESSED 2019 everyone!

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It was a quiet year. I know I should go out more often but then again family obligations take precedence over everything.

Mom is here with me and you can’t leave her alone for long. She feels insecure and tells me to open the grills at the garage and dirty kitchen  when I go out even just for a while which I don’t of course. She’s old, almost ninety by a few months.  When she’s alone in  the house with Oreo for company, I don’t stay long outside.  It’s one reason why I attend mass early and we do our twice a month marketing early too.  During weekends though, I usually go out doing some errands and grocery shopping. I no longer enjoy staying long at the mall just walking around, I’d rather spend my time reading or doing anything at the house.

Walking and staying outside too long tax my strength. Since I’ve been ill, my immunity was shut down.  Like I’ve said before, I still wear face mask when I go out  without the car. Commuting is quite hard. It’s a good thing we have nearby convenient stores and malls which just take a tricycle ride.

The year is about to end and I look back.  Yes indeed, it was a quiet year.  I am not being anti-social. Friends come over to visit me instead. I enjoy those moments, not worrying about how to get home because of the traffic. I enjoy preparing food for them and cooking when I am not too busy. I enjoy the chats and conversations  and the laughter in between.

I challenged myself to read a hundred books this year by again joining the 2018 Goodreads Reading Challenge. So far I’m done with 152 books – a couple of classic books, some memoirs, a spattering of YA books, winners of the 2018 Best Books and a lot of fiction mostly about new authors and different genre. I seldom read love stories but when I find some good ones, I read one or two.

Blogging has been and always will be a lovely pursuit in writing. I earned a lot of followers this year, my stats has increased tremendously and my posts are close to 2,500, 2,493 to be exact including this. So glad that I  found more lovely blogs to follow. So glad to  interact  with fellow bloggers in the process. It is always a thrill to see that a few of them are avid in writing comments and clicking like to my posts.

Those monthly visits from my daughter’s family are a great joy for me too. Nate has become a smart little boy. There is always something new to learn about him every month. His young voice over the phone is always welcome even if he’ll just say “hello Nonna”. 

Josef and Jovy have started a small home business and it is thriving well. We need another ref or maybe a larger one to keep those cakes fresh before delivery. Though it is a hard task considering they both have day jobs, we’re happy they have steady customers.

2019 is about to show its face. I hope it would be a good year for all of us.

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She thinks of the days passing by.

She hopes for better things to come.

Someday, she would write another poem.

Maybe talk about her pretty dog Noki

And her pet Oreo.

Maybe  she would cultivate a vegetable garden

More than the ornamental planted there.

She talks about finding more books to read.

More book reviews to write about.

Simple things that make life what it is.

Simple things that make one happy.

Joy is contagious when shared.

The laughter, the smiles, and conversations

Deep into the night.

She dreams one more time.

That life will treat her well

As the days go by.

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I wake up around 4:30 am every day same as my son who goes to work at 5:00 am, not too early but not too late either, just good enough time to do the early morning chores before the sun is up.

Our Shih Poo  Oreo even wakes up earlier but spend his time napping through the day as soon as Josef leaves the house for work. Our other dog Noki sleeps near our front door and would bark readily if someone is just passing by but close enough to our gate.

I clean the front and side  of the house everyday for debris left by undisciplined passers-by. Candy wrappers, cigarette butts,  leaves blown by the wind, plastic with straw still intact (I don’t know why vendors still use this style of transferring soft drinks to plastics, not really good for the health). Watering the plants comes next then sweeping the inside yard. I always find it more conducive to water the plants so early in the morning while it is still a little dark. It is nice to see them so fresh before the sun shows its face.

Ah, preparing breakfast! I have to do it every day since mom arrived more than two weeks ago. When I’m alone, a  cup of coffee would suffice in the early morning.

The neighborhood wakes up early too. I hate those motor bikes which are so noisy when they pass. Our street is one of the main roads going out of the subdivision from the town proper so all kinds of vehicles pass by it.  Sometimes, those in cars just throw  their trash as they pass by. What an uncouth way to do it. It’s a case of as long as it is not in their cars, it’s okay. Surely they know that those trash would just clog the drains once it rains. Those motor bike drivers sometimes act as if they own the road and take note, most  of them don’t even wear the required helmets to protect themselves.

6 am is quite busy at the subdivision’s park which is just a street away from our place. This makes me smile, they are senior citizens mostly. They walk their dogs, they run, do some simple exercises while waiting for the sun’s rays to show on their faces.  Not to be left behind  are the pan de sal vendors  busy with baking those bread rolls which are usually staple for breakfast by most Filipinos. Eaten with peanut butter or sausage which we call longganisa, fried eggs and hot cup of coffee, one’s breakfast is solved. Next to that come the itinerant vendors  in bikes selling  everything from fish to fruits and vegetables. If you are lazy to go to the market and you need just a few ingredients on your tinola  or adobo, this would suffice.

Except for the sound of  an ambulance passing by or the beep of  the garbage truck twice a week, the occasional car horn,  everything is quiet during the day until the students in the nearby school pass by and  they are usually so noisy, sometimes talking at the top of their voices and Noki would bark at them non-stop.

Such is the life in our neighborhood, not challenging enough I know but quiet. And unless you go out to talk to your neighbors. you would never see their faces.

 

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Your face –

That certain smile.

Your eyes –

They close in rapture when you laugh.

Did I tell you that I still miss your stories?

Those days when you recall everything.

And I am always inspired listening.

Now and then,

I dream of you –

And I wish we were together again.

I always love to ruffle your hair.

The white strands

So smooth to the touch.

I let my fingers touch your face again.

Only,

It’s your photograph.

(A tribute to Dad on his 11th death anniversary).

 

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