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Posts Tagged ‘thoughts’


Every year, during his birthday and death anniversary, I would always write about him. Those things that I still vividly remember in my mind. I couldn’t count the anecdotes and stories we have shared in the past. When I stopped working at the bank, Dad and Mom stayed with me. Almost every afternoon and sometimes when I am trimming the grass, he would sit on the ledge of our garage and regale me with those stories of long ago.

I remember, I first learned to read novels and books through him. He would borrow books from their library at the UST High school and allow me to read when I was no longer busy with school assignments. I graduated from those Mills and Boons stories back in high school and learned more reading genre when I started working as a student librarian while studying at the same time.

When we were in grade school, my  brothers and I stayed in the province with my grandmother most of the time when mom won’t be around to take care of us. When my two brothers and I started high school, they transferred my youngest brother here in Manila to continue with her grade schooling.  I remember those days when dad would come home every December break from school and he would bring along various groceries and old clothes (of students) from their school. Mom would distribute the latter to our neighbors  and sometimes  would even make alterations on the good ones for us to wear. I remember those days when Dad would make us sit and remove white hairs from his head. We would count them afterwards and Dad would give us some cents for candies…haha! I remember those days when he would harvest our Formosa pineapples  and cashews from the trees we planted together when I was a kid.  He loved fruits. He planted several coconut saplings when he retired from work, they are all bearing fruits now.

This is one of my favorite pictures of him which I have posted too several years ago. He was in his early eighties when this photo was taken.

I want to share these lovely quotes with you on fatherhood.

“I suddenly remember being very little and being embraced by my father. I would try to put my arms around my father’s waist, hug him back. I could never reach the whole way around the equator of his body; he was that much larger than life. Then one day, I could do it. I held him, instead of him holding me, and all I wanted at that moment was to have it back the other way.”
― Jodi Picoult, Vanishing Acts

“My father didn’t tell me how to live;
he lived, and let me watch him do it”
― Clarence B. Kelland

“A father’s tears and fears are unseen, his love is unexpressed, but his care and protection remains as a pillar of strength throughout our lives.”
― Ama H.Vanniarachchy

 

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This is actually a repost. I had it published last October 5, 2012 when most of you (those who are regular visitors here haven’t seen it yet).  It’s like a series because I have other posts like this throughout the years. This is the first one though, the title is borrowed from one of Mary Oliver’s books.

Gosh, just looking at the book cover makes me drool! Just looking at the title reminds me of those early mornings when my mind is pregnant with words, words that sometimes play in my head but when I have the chance to jot them down, they always vanish like thin air. It’s the latest book of Mary Oliver and it’s not yet out in the market. Mary Oliver is a favorite author, a favorite poet. So I am borrowing the book title for my blog today and wish that there would be  a thousand mornings more to enjoy life and to share the joys to others.

A Thousand Mornings And More

Living life one day at a time and enjoying every precious moment. You might think, that’s hard to do but when you’re living on borrowed time, everything  is deeply felt and the heart gets appreciative of all the love and concern thrown your way. When you are given a second lease at life, every dream you hold is precious too.

Yes, I’m grateful for old friends  who after all these years are still here. I  see them now once in a while but the love and camaraderie are still there after all these years.  I am grateful too of new-found friends who are so supportive of what I do, loving friends whom you could bare your soul without being judgmental.

Waking up to a lovely sunrise. Sunrise and sunsets, they never fail to make me smile. Seeing the dawn breaks and watching dusk fall. How lovely! And how mysterious the clouds could be some time. Next to flowers, they are actually my favorite subjects when it comes to tinkering with my camera.

Taking a few shots of my garden blooms.Ah, what could be more beautiful than seeing  and smelling the sweet scent of a flower in one’s garden?

Growing old…. gracefully.I’ll be celebrating my birthday in three weeks  and it makes me a little excited. And I remember  a text sent by a close friend before my birthday four years ago.

In a dream I saw myself walking on a beach with the Lord, carrying someone in
His arms.

           It was you. Nainggit ako…
Jesus felt my envious tone when I asked:
“Lord, why siya karga Mo, di ako?”

With a gentle voice
He said:
“Don’t be jealous my child, sya may RAYUMA, ikaw wala pa”.

That pretty sums up what one actually begins to feel when one is adding years to her life.  And it’s not only the “rayuma” thing but you  feel that some parts of your body are out of  joints probably  needing a bit more stretching on the side and a few meters run in the oval behind the house.  Things are different now though, I have to take things easy, be more mindful of being stressed. I do get easily tired nowadays. I wonder if that is still the effect  of chemotherapy drugs, I hope not.

I’ve never been obsessed with counting the passing years. As they say, age is just a number. Twenty or fifty, it really does not make that much difference. What is important is how you look at life and how you deal with it. There is always that subconscious effort to do your best be it a simple thing like prepping yourself  to look good in the eyes of others or facing a gargantuan task and responsibility of raising a family. But then, you still manage amazingly well.

Whoa! The past days have been good, thanks to a loving God Who is always there silently egging me on, reminding me to keep grounded, making me feel loved and cherished. A loving God Who never turns His back on me just because at times, I forget that He is there. A big thank you for a loving family, two wonderful kids who are my fulfillment of a dream. Thank you for the loyal friends who have always been there through thick and thin, and new ones  who accept me unconditionally and treat me like a long-lost  friend.

I remember a few birthdays back, my two kids had this habit of waking me up in the middle of the night, no lights on but a flicker of a candle and their merry voices singing “Happy birthday Mama”. Who would not be touched by that? I’ve always felt emotional when it comes to such things.  Or maybe, birthdays allow you to cry a little ….keeping attuned with yourself that somehow you are really growing old…..gracefully.

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So proud of my  nephew.

I talked to my youngest brother a while ago and we talked of the kids. They live in Tulsa. My nephew is graduating in Architecture at the end of December. It took him only four and a half years to complete a five-year course. He usually take summer jobs and two of them offered him a job right after graduation.  Two job offers…wow!

I am so proud of him. He was offered a salary even higher than what my brother is getting.  Wow! When he qualifies after his training and apprenticeship, that might even be doubled.  Right now, he is doing some rendering and teaching autocad at the university where he is studying.

Ah, the pleasure one gets when you see your kids finish their schooling and be successful.  My niece, the oldest of the three kids is a full-pledged nurse and the youngest is studying Astronomy. According to my brother, he wants to become a scientist.

“You’re blessed and lucky“, I said. His kids are really doing well. My niece together with some of her friends in the medical field visit Haiti regularly.  She finds it fulfilling to do those missions and render help to the kids there.

My brother and I were joking. He was asking about my birthday. I told him in jest, “Don’t send me  a gift, send dollars instead”. He laughed and we were laughing over the phone like crazy. He wants to go home and take a vacation here.  I hope he does. We haven’t seen each other since Dad died.

The joys of getting in touch with family…..priceless 🙂

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Let’s  all be channel of blessings to each other.

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If you’re on Facebook,  you’re probably familiar with their Memories app where you get to see  every day some of your posts and shoutouts from previous years. I love reminiscing about those somehow forgotten moments until they stare at you in the face….then you remember.

I can’t recall if  I wrote this previously here back in October 2015 or if  I wrote it originally at Facebook.  Anyway, I am sharing it here (maybe for the second time around). Senior moments and can’t really recall when I wrote it exactly. I told you, out of the thousands of posts I’ve written, I can no longer remember the others.  There was a time when I used to write all  the titles of my posts in my journal  but when I reached around 600, I got tired of it ands never came back to update it. By the way, I just changed the opening line from six years to ten years.

TEN YEARS. A long time to share one’s thoughts in cyberspace. I never thought that I will last this long in the blogging world. It gets more addicting when you find new friends who really and sincerely admire your posts and read everything down to the misplaced comma or misspelled word. Maybe if I would collate all these from the first few lines I wrote when I started, I’ll have a thick book by now. Scattered thoughts, broken dreams, unfulfilled promises, disappointments, happy and delirious moments that I just have to write about because seeing them in print (even just in this platform) is the only way I know how. Somehow when you feel so alone in a crowd, you turn to something that would make your world a little brighter even just for a few moments.

The good thing about writing your thoughts (but not necessarily sharing them to the world) is that you learn to cope with the dark days and see the promise of a new day. The sun always rises even if there is a storm but you don’t always see it. You look back and sometimes you wonder, did you really think that it would make a big difference to the world or make a dent in yours? I must admit, there is that kind of self-fulfillment when you write no matter how mundane or unimaginative your thoughts are.

 

 

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There are journeys in life no one could take for you!

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Prayer should not always be asking God for what we want and what we need. Above all, prayer should always include thanking God for our blessings.

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