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Posts Tagged ‘thoughts’


After several days of hibernation (hibernation indeed) I found myself staring at my PC monitor thinking what I will share today. This is one of those days when I could finally sit down and write. The Lenten season has started so I was a little busy with some updates on our Catholic page on FB. Ash Wednesday found us attending an early morning mass at St. Jude Parish.  I look forward to the next forty days of a blessed and fruitful season of Lent. Abstinence from meat on all Fridays of Lent, fasting and abstinence on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday.  I prefer though to cut meat on some days too during the week as a form of sacrifice.

Oh yes, I’ve been busy scrutinizing the political platforms of various candidates vying for the presidency, aspiring to be the next vice-president and those senator wannabes who’ll be serving us for the next six years. The official campaign period has just started  and I see the same faces – the corrupt ones who don’t have the nerve to face the public and own up to what they did the past several years, the hopefuls who think that the future of all Filipinos rest on their shoulders, the neophytes in politics who believe that they could make a difference once they are chosen,  the candidates we call trapos (that’s traditional politics for you), the voters who don’t discern enough on who to vote for  (we have plenty of that here), a popular name of the candidate is enough for them. It’s name recall instead of choosing who could deliver. Believe me, I seldom write political blogs, I get a headache just thinking of who would win come May 9.  Who is sincere, who is bogus, who is fake?  I am hoping all of us Filipinos would learn from the lessons of the past.  Words are easy enough but doing what they promised to do has always been wanting.

Last night, I spent an hour reading articles from two of my favorite writers, Lucy Torres-Gomez and Barbara Gonzales. I have blogged about them before, how they inspire me with their writings.  Lucy is a  congresswoman from Ormoc and she shares about day-to-day life in her weekly column Love Lucy at Philippine Star, a national daily. Barbara is a seventy something who writes, teaches writing, crochets and creates fashion jewelries which she sells or give as gifts to friends.  Barbara lives alone (she always emphasizes that almost in every article that she writes) but she is not lonely.  Growing old has given her a new lease of life that not all people her age experience.  Growing old, having the grace to do things that one could be proud of.  What a life!

How have you been?

 

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She hides her pain beneath the smiles

But her eyes show  a different world

thinking of the ‘might have been, the ‘what if’,

the little things that makes life the way she dreamed of.

Life is not perfect, life may be full of angst.

She stays…waiting.

Someday maybe, she’ll show that genuine smile again

The blessings and lovely memories will overcome

the pain in her eyes.

 

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I can’t believe it. January is almost gone and all I have are eleven  blog posts since the start of the month. The past days, I  struggled with using my tab when posting. It really came in handy while my  old computer has finally gone kaput on me, buried for good this time.  I am using a new one which Josef gave me as a late Christmas gift complete with a 17″ monitor and  is wi-fi ready. This is actually my first post using it.  I don’t know, it might be a blessing in disguise since I was able to catch up on my reading  ( I am on my 10th book on the reading challenge on Goodreads).  One thing I’ve missed while using my tab was the proof-reader.  Sometimes you’ll never know that in the course of typing what is running in your head, you misspell a word that never gets corrected even if you edit your post once or twice.  I am not a lover of the auto-correct features of my cellphones and tab. I often have to go back, erase and retype words since the former  inserts  something far from what I have in mind. It’s crazy, more so when I am texting in Tagalog and it does not have an equal word to substitute.

Thank you so much to those fellow bloggers who recently followed my blogs and thank you too to  those visitors who left inspiring comments on my old posts.  I’ve reached more than 385,000 stats a few minutes ago. It’s a milestone for me.  I didn’t really expect that I’ll get to have this number of visitors in my six years of blogging.  There was a time  during the early years when having a 20 to 50 views in a day was enough for me  but then there are loyal followers and online friends here who visit regularly. Added to that are the views I get daily from my posts as a cancer survivor.  My old posts are more popular than the new ones :)

I still get excited publishing a new post. I  am happy seeing new followers and likes.  Of course they add to the joy of writing, getting noticed that is. I try to limit each post from a minimum of 300 words to around 500 words at the most.  It is easier to read a shorter post than a lengthy one.

Where has January gone? February is slowly inching its way. I hope it would bring inspirations for me to blog often and update my other blogs too which I have neglected too long.

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Indeed, life is a multi-coloured thing –
Dark and blue one moment
Bright and sunny the next.
Every day holds something for us
And if we are to live in this busy cosmos
Of rat-raced competition, fake smiles and
farcical acts of what we call humanity –

     we have to remain firm
     implant  our feet on the ground and hold
     tight to the one last string –
     a hope that may yet come sometime  tomorrow,
     hope is not lost for those who love.

Every day, we meet people from all walks of life
Others touch us, reach out and somehow
Leave their marks upon our soul
A part of us goes, but a more important thing remains –
A happy feeling of knowing that we have made
Someone smile and despite the heavy load
We have  somehow eased the pain and lightened the burden
Even just for a little while.

     every day, we build  impregnable tower
     and hope for something more than just a  simple
     meeting of the eyes.
     we seek permanence among the earthly
     and material things
     mortals and sinners that we are

Life is one big question
The answer to which we never seem to find
Until we are strong enough to admit
That we sre weak  and falllible
Only  then we could be able to say,
We  are  alive.
    

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I found my old tattered journal from wayback. The spine  has detached itself from the pages that were yellowed with age. Has it been 38 years ago? Yes,it was and  this was the younger me.

Dear Mayblue

It hurts really, this empty feeling within me. I like to be strong again just like old  times when I used to laugh my worries away, just like those days when I could wear a smile amidst problems. Oh, whats the use of recounting those things.

I used to be part of the audience, passive and all that but how I came to be the actress myself, I never know. All I am sure of is that, now, there is no turning back, no matter what reality has  in store for me, no matter how it hurts. I must go on. Can’t you see Mayblue, I am trying to be brave.

Some people think what a fine actress I am.  Others perhaps look down with disdain. The only thing that consoles me is the fact that every one of us in this cruel  world  is a thespian, the only difference is that are cast in different roles. Some play the lead role,  some are afraid to plunge their hands in the deep water lest they be drowned. I was one of the latter until I found myself playing the big part of the game.

I was sure of myself then. Call it the magic  of love reigning over me. I looked at life with rose-colored eye glasses with misty mornings and sun-bright days. I was way up and I felt great. See what love can bring Mayblue?

But when you have loved deeply and have been hurt so bad, you see things  in a different perspective, in a different light. I found myself running away from my own ghost, even to the point of  pitying myself sometimes. One thing I can assure you is that, I  never regretted what has been, after all, love was such a beautiful experience.

Don’t be deceived by what you see. Despite that calm facade, that undisturbed countenance, look closely and you’ll see a girl crying inside.

P.S.

I wish you were here. I  want to have a good cry.

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Now that I’ve typed the title, I am wondering what is the equivalent of tuýo when you translate it in English. I think it would just be dried salted fish.

Some of you are probably wondering why of all things to blog about, tuýo comes to mind. Here in our country it is a common dish for breakfast paired with fried or sunny side up egg, a hot cup of coffee or hot chocolate, and spicy vinegar as dipping sauce.

We celebrate noche buena  on Christmas eve. After we have attended the evening mass, we wait for twelve midnight to greet each other Merry Christmas   then share  a spread painstakingly prepared earlier on, one full meal that consists of delectable and savory dishes that you only get to see during Christmas, lots of sweets,  fruits  and even a bottle of wine to toast the occasion. This is even more scrumptious than preparing for one’s birthday. After all, Christmas is a special occasion to celebrate Jesus’ birth.

Tuýo.

But why tuýo? You have probably heard of it and you might not even like the taste or the strong smell while it is in the frying pan but know what, it is  a necessary viand on the table come breakfast time and that means on Christmas morning.  You no longer want to eat those left-overs from last night’s celebration until probably a day or two but you would welcome the former complete with fried rice with diced left-over ham, eggs, mixed veggies and lots of garlic. Believe me, come Christmas morning it would be the most welcome thing you want to see on your dining table.

Nissa messaged me earlier and she said that she is excited for the coming Christmas. I am too. it would be nice to see them all again. Nate is now three, although he knows the figure of Santa, I don’t think he would associate seeing the image of Santa Claus as someone who fills the Christmas tree with gifts. He will always be excited to open gifts though and rewards you with a hug and a kiss with a shout of “thank you”.

Blessed is
The season which
Engages the whole
World in a
Conspiracy of love.

-Hamilton Wright Mabie

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That moment you wake up, open a window and faintly you hear Pinoy Christmas songs playing in some neighbor’s house….priceless. You get a little nostalgic thinking of Christmas past when celebrations were more focused on attending Simbang Gabi, nine days of novena masses until Christmas eve. Yes,today is the beginning of our traditional Simbang Gabi.  It started last night in our village chapel but it was raining hard because of the typhoon so I was not able to attend.  I have clogged nose the past days and it is hard to breathe especially at night.

It pains me to see those places affected by the typhoon, people who lost their homes, damaged roads, uprooted trees and it has not left the country yet. Our weather bureau says that there is another one coming.  Typhoons that visit us late in the year are usually strong and destructive.  I hope next week would not be a rainy one for us.

My PC is weird. Is that even the right term for it? Yesterday, I woke up earlier than 3am, a perfect opportunity to check my blogs and update our daily Gospel readings at our Catholic page on Facebook. You see, for the last five years I help manage a page with a priest friend and another friend who is a lay minister in their parish.  I was able to post Gospel readings until the end of the year then my PC practically crashed on me.  Gosh, perfect timing but you can’t quarrel with an almost ten-year old PC nor get mad at it. You just shake your head in frustration while taking another sip of a tepid cup of coffee by your side.  Like right now it is running well and I am listening to Christmas carols while I blog (keeping my fingers crossed).

I found a wonderful book on Padre Pio but I don’t want to read it in just one go, a chapter or two every day until I finish it. I also bought a copy of the Daily Gospel 2016, a collection of all the readings for the coming year, a helpful guide for my online apostolate. Speaking of books, a friend who is coming home for a short break bought me two lovely volumes of Richard Paul Evans books, one was just published last month while the other one is the 5th  and final installment of The Walk series.  Wonderful gifts from a wonderful friend.

Did I say it’s nine days to go before Christmas?  This might appear on my wall dated December 15 but it is December 16 now  and it’s 5 am. The cold winds bite but the rain has stopped. May I share another inspiring Christmas quote?

It is Christmas every time you let God love others through you… yes, it is Christmas every time you smile at your brother and offer him your hand. – Mother Teresa

 

 

 

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