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Posts Tagged ‘thoughts’


Back in October  2012, I wrote about A Thousand Mornings, a title I borrowed from one of the books  of my favorite author and poet Mary Oliver. I still read it now  and then and my soul is uplifted every time I do.

Christmas.

Early this morning, I chanced upon  a radio station playing songs in between the recent news in our country. Then all of a sudden,  he inserted  a Christmas song in between. What? Christmas in August? Oh but he said it’s barely two weeks before we start the BER months. Believe me, here in the Philippines  Christmas celebrations start as early as October and end as late as February the following year.  I ended up listening to some Christmas songs on YouTube. What a joy to reminisce and remember those past days of celebrating Christmas.

Books.

I love visiting Booksale. They have so many branches in different malls here in Metro Manila.  Aren’t you thrilled going out of a book store armed with several titles of books you’ve found in your foray? They are not necessarily books by authors you love and follow but you find the texture of the pages and the  designs on the book covers so beautiful.  They speak to you of those lovely days you spent in your youth discovering new books at the library. Of course when you really want books, one could always visit National Bookstore but the books are quite expensive.

Flowers.

There was a time that I used to take shots of every bloom in my garden. I don’t have my camera now, it got broken and the other ones were destroyed during typhoon Ondoy back in 2009.  I use my tab and my phone cam once in a while but I don’t take photos as much  as several years ago. I intend to buy  a camera one of these days. Although cameras on cellphones are more convenient, I could not take those high-resolution photos that I love. I guess I have more than a thousand flowers shots saved on Photobucket.

My Garden.

And all because I love  the rich soil beneath my hands and watch things grow. Every year, I would plant bonito  ampalaya, a pot or two of chili peppers and turmeric.  Occasionally,  jute leaves sprout for a time, to grow again during the rainy season.  We have two kalamansi trees and two jackfruit trees in the garden aside from the ornamental plants that I cultivate.  Our Arius is like a  Christmas tree just waiting to be decorated with lights and tinsel.

Blogging.

But of course. I meet so many friends here. In Facebook,  my feed is full of hodgepodge of unpalatable news.  At times,  I just ignore them and make some shout outs to my friends. I don’t go public on Facebook.  I meet lovely friends here at WordPress, read beautiful blog posts and  see wonderful photos of other places that I haven’t been to.  The day won’t be complete without visiting WordPress.  I have 2,046 posts including this one for this main blog alone.

Family.

Family always comes first of course.  Now that we have Nate with us, it is always a riot when he is around. Smiles are not far behind.  I remember those days when my two kids were growing up and were left in the care of two yayas. It was always a problem for mom and dad to look for yayas for us in the province.  Nowadays, it is even harder to find household help that you can trust.

I remember those days when  I used to go up the stage every recognition day  and so proud of my kids receiving those medals. It was a thrill when my daughter graduated Magna Cum Laude  and we were given choice seats at the  venue.  Tears of joy for the standing ovation from her professors and classmates when she received that medal upon graduation.  We were so proud of her.

Clouds.

Did I say I like taking photos of clouds and watching them move when the sky is dark? I love though when the sun is hot and the day is just perfect for cloud-watching. They look so mysterious out there. These are photos  from  some years back.

I could go on of course with a thousand more mornings but I think this has gone long enough.

“All night my heart makes its way
however it can over the rough ground
of uncertainties, but only until night
meets and then is overwhelmed by
morning, the light deepening, the
wind easing and just waiting, as I
too wait (and when have I ever been
disappointed?) for redbird to sing”
– Mary Oliver, A Thousand Mornings

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You and I will grow old one day, that’s a fact of life.

I often hear mom say that she is becoming forgetful. Sometimes, she always forgets where she put down her eyeglasses. Sometimes, she goes to the bedroom and simply forgets why. At her age (she is now 88), I am so happy that she is still with us. Never mind that most of time, she gets irritable and moody. They say that when you reach the ripe old  age of 80, everything is a bonus. Agree?

It happens to me too, sometimes when I have something in mind to do or get at the bedroom, I often forget what it is when I reach there. I have to go back again and think. I dread that time when I could not exactly remember things or people around.

Are you afraid to grow old? Of course each one of us has that hidden fear of reaching those years. But  we are so lucky and blessed that we were given these chances to enjoy life at the moment. We are so blessed that we are  still healthy despite the occasional aches and pains that accompany getting a little older.  We are so blessed that we still enjoy what life deals us despite those somewhat gargantuan problems that arise at times.  No one can escape vicissitudes in life. What matters is our attitude towards everything.  I believe that we become stronger for every curve ball that we experience. We learn and we remember.  Positive attitude counts.

Yes, we also grow a little wiser as we grow older.  Wisdom comes with age so research say.  We  are more decisive in doing things than when we were younger.  We are more focused on  not just the way something is done but how it would impact on our lives.  As we grow older, we  remember  with childlike wonder how we coped before today. We remember the good times  and smile at the though of those earlier years. Treasure that wisdom, treasure those moments you laughed and smiled and cried  with joy in your hearts. Treasure the days ahead, they will give us more lessons where we could learn more.  Enjoy the passing days, they are precious.

 

 

 

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There is a soft breeze

making the curtains dance

And our dog Noki

is gently snoring at my feet.

What a blessed day.

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Oh I just love these:

the silence of the night

the peaceful slumber

the  cold of night winds

the breaking of dawn

the hush of the morning

the beauty of the sunrise

time spent in the garden

the quiet at dusk

All in a day’s work.

 

 

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Hear His voice, He speaks to you in silence, gently, with such sense of humor sometimes that you find yourself laughing with Him.  The first time I learned that I need to undergo surgery, I asked Him these simple questions:

Lord, would I have to bear another scar? He answered:  Yes, but this time I’ll make sure that it would look better than the first. True enough, though it reached a long 9 inches, the cut was clean, it was a long straight line.

I am afraid Lord, I don’t want to undergo  another surgery. Then He whispered, Don’t you worry, I’ll hold your hands and will carry you when it’s done.

I lost weight when I was  at the hospital, 10 lbs. to be exact and I was worried I’ll lose even more if I have to undergo further treatments and He assured me by saying, Oh come on, you need to lose a little more. By the time you’re done, you’ll be able to wear all those medium size dresses, and those dainty Hang Ten T-shirts that you love. He had me laughing so much  and right there and then, I wanted to hug Him and embrace Him tight.

The nurse at the chemotherapy unit briefed us on what to expect after each session of treatment.  Some chemotherapy drugs have that immediate effect of losing one’s hair and the wise recourse is for you to have it shaved, as in bald head?  Then I heard Him whispering in my ears again: Why, don’t you want to wear those trendy and fashionable  head-gear?  But I assure you, you won’t lose your hair. So I asked my oncologist if I won’t go bald and she told me that medications for colon cancer are quite safe from that.  Then I felt  Him nudging me, I told you  and you won’t believe. Forgive me Lord for doubting you  even for a minute.

At some moments when I feel so down, I remember that  God  chose me to share His suffering and I am privileged that He trusts me enough to bear my cross.  Dear Lord, thank you for making me so special in your eyes.

(P.S. This is a re-blog, a post I made when I was just starting this blog back in June 2009, a month before my scheduled  sigmoid surgery.- arlene)

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The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.

Perhaps you are familiar with this poem written more than two centuries ago by  an American poet William Ross Wallace in praise of all mothers.

Haven’t we always heard this phrase, “wait till you become a mother yourself and you will appreciate everything that Mom is doing for you”.  This is so true, you can never appreciate enough, love enough, make sacrifices  enough for your mother  until you become one, for motherhood is something not taught in any school but  still you embrace it with gusto, dreaming of a family of your own,  hoping of having smart kids you can be proud of, hoping against hope that even as you grow older, you will  still be strong enough to embrace your grandchildren and share something of what you have learned when you were still young.  Wisdom grows with age, so they say.

Can you still remember the time you cradled your first-born child in your arms? Such a fragile thing, you thought, but you were full of wonder and  you were simply amazed that such a tiny child, with her fist held high in the air, lustily crying her heart out is yours, all yours to take care of and to love?  Can you still remember the times that you had to snatch just an hour or two of sleep because she has to play in the middle of the night and smile that naughty smile while you felt so sleepy thinking that you have a nine to five job to go to the following day? Can you still remember the first time she smiled at you and seemed to recognize your voice, her eyes following you everywhere you go?

I read an article in Reader’s Digest years ago about the wonderful world of the unborn.  She is there listening, learning and very much aware of what is happening in the outside world. Even at an early  stage of pregnancy, the unborn baby’s awareness of the outside world develops rapidly. Amazing, don’t you think? The reason why there is always that instant hush when you hold your crying child is because she recognizes your voice and she has been aware of it when she was still in your womb.  She knows when you are agitated and she knows when you are elated as well.  The closeness that binds a child and a mother is something inexplicable. We call it the wonder of motherhood.

I found this very touching poem from an unknown author and I wish to share it with you:

Your Arms Were Always Open – Anonymous

Mom is always there, whenever you need a friend.

Your arms were always open
when I needed a hug

Your heart understand
when I needed a friend

Your gentle eyes were stern
when I needed a lesson
Your strength and love
guided me and gave me wings
to make me soar….

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Trite  at it may sound, I am  greeting you again with this old familiar greeting, “hello August, welcome”.

I really can’t believe July is gone and August is here again. Happy new month everyone. I used to blog about month endings and beginnings but for so long now, I haven’t done it. Sometimes I forget when I am busy.

Apart from some friends  who visited me early in July and  the monthly visit from my daughter’s family, July has been a little too uneventful. The quiet days spent in the garden, moments of reflection and the endless tasks of  everyday things at home that make life a little comfortable. I had a lot of time to read though, some from e-books that I have on my tab and older copies of books I bought a few years ago.  My Goodreads book challenge for 2017  is almost done. From the 150 books I committed myself to read this year, I have finished reading  a total of  139 books, a mix of memoirs, fiction, psychology and YA books. I have found several classic books in between like The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Zafon,  Doctor Zhivago by Boris Pasternak, The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco  and The Godfather by Mario Puzo to name  a few. I also discovered several authors, new ones who are really good at their craft. Nadia Hashimi comes close to one of my fave authors Khaled Hosseini when it comes to Asian literature.  They wrote about life in Afghanistan and I was mesmerized by  their words. Imagine life in a war-torn country with all the problems it entails.

My garden is doing just fine but maybe in a week’s time, I have to trim the carabao grass again. They have grown in the last two weeks since I did the trimming. I am thinking of replanting some bulbs while the sun is shining.

Hello  August, be kind!

 

 

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