Archive for the ‘reflections’ Category


Yes, I am feeling a little nostalgic at the moment.  Last night, I reread a book of poems by Rod McKuen, one of the two books that I have entitled Alone. You can actually finish it in less than an hour but when you are absorbing each word, enjoying what it means in your life and looking back at   those life journeys you had before, it is even more nostalgic. The flow of each word is like a balm to your heart.

This is actually my 1,849th post in this particular blog, not counting  the posts on the other four blogs  I have on gardening, photography, my grandson Nate and a newly minted one for when I use up the remaining 29% free space allowed here. It’s been a long journey, blogging for a little more than seven years. Sometimes, I wonder how I was able to share those  thoughts in between.

I remember a few lines from my 1,000th post four years ago. I can’t believe I lasted this long sharing my thoughts with the world. Still hoping I could inspire more, I am grateful for those online friends who leave inspiring words too, coming back now and again to update me with their journey.

“Documenting one’s own frailties, insecurities, battles and happy thoughts takes a lot of courage, more so if you are doing it publicly through a blog. One thing though that I don’t regret doing is sharing my plight as a cancer patient and survivor. I started this three years ago right after I found out I had colon cancer. Each of us has her own coping mechanism and mine was writing my thoughts and sharing it . I’ve always said and I will say it again that if I could touch a single soul out there who’ll draw a little inspiration on what I went through, then that would be enough, it would make me happy. To my surprise, a few online friends found some of my blogs helpful in their own journey, having experienced the same thing that I did. Kindred spirits, if I must say.”

We can do better, we can reach our dreams, we can learn to fly.

I reviewed some of the photos I took since I learned how to take  shots of my garden blooms.  I transferred them to a hard drive when Multiply closed its doors  and I have to find a way to save all those shots.  This shot is nothing new here, I remember posting it when I was still active in participating in the weekly photo challenge at WordPress.


A moment in time.

They were flying in formation at a speed that I could not capture so well. I love taking photos of clouds on a clear day but they came as a bonus.  Seeing nature at its best keeps you grounded, the beauty of one summer day etched in your memory.  Sometimes, watching the sun show its face on a bright morning is blessing enough. Sometimes, a hesitant smile from a stranger you meet along the road of life makes the day worthwhile.  Sometimes, finding a lovely bloom in your garden is grace enough.  Dreams may not always turn into reality but believing in it takes you to another level, a happy feeling that life would always be something to treasure  no matter what.

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I’ve always been in awe of candle light photography. I remember those photos I took of lighted candles at the St. Padre Pio Chapel near our place.

Watching the flickering flames somehow brings that inner peace in one’s soul, the quiet of the moment, fervent prayers uttered, the beauty of the Now.

A niece who is vacationing in France sent me some photos of the Basilica of the Sacred Heart of Jesus in Paris and these is one of them. She knows that I love subjects like this and she told me, “I took those photos for you auntie”.  She hasn’t shared it on other social media sites, she said I could use them any way I want, be it on my blog or as personal collection.  Thank you Annabelle.

I am imagining myself right there at this moment, reflecting about life, its beauty and its angst while watching the flames sway and dance.

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Just Be

Chasing thoughts

running in your head.

Like an old melody

Waiting to be heard.

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I cry for my beloved country.

My father used to say that “we carve our own destiny”. Back then, I didn’t understand the impact of those words. When you are young, you are too idealistic enough and sometimes you see the world in rose-tinted eyeglasses. You see the world the way you believe it ought to be seen, a happy place  where sometimes dreams have a little niche in your idealistic heart.  You grow up and things change and you begin to notice that the world is really not what it seems.

The die is cast.

Yesterday, my kids and I did our duty for the country and voted for  those candidates whose platforms of government we believe in and whose experience in the field of service to the Filipino people is unquestionable.   I can never be prouder seeing fellow Filipinos exercise their right to vote and choose the best.I salute COMELEC for a clean, quiet and peaceful elections. Things though will not always be to one’s desires. Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose but what is important is to accept defeat graciously and move on.

We lost the presidency but our candidate for VP, Leni  is on top. I think there are only about 5% more votes not counted.  A newbie in the field of politics but not new to the grassroots where she worked pro bono for so many years. She knows the problems with the ordinary rural folks, the farmers and  the man on the street.

I have never been  this much involved in politics throughout the years. It’s just that, it was quite easy to support a man whose values, love of country and its people are the same things that you look for in a good candidate.  The last two weeks were quite emotional days for me even deliberately forgetting to visit WordPress. I can never forget the laughter, the tears (yes we cried too) and the intelligent exchanges of ideas and why we campaigned for the same presidential candidate.  I learned a lot in the process.

Change is easier said than done.

The choices we make in life are rooted in the same values that we believe in.  The path we take maybe full of knots that have to be untied one by one, the road maybe too rough for our liking but the journey has to be taken.  It may entail a gargantuan sacrifice, it may mean so much pain, it may involve lots of changes that we have to make on our own.

Those people who chose  the president-elect were clamoring for change, that instant change that we’ll get to see in three to six months (as he promised). I believe that real change starts within ourselves. Just yesterday, I accompanied my daughter Nissa back to the precinct so she could vote (Josef and I voted earlier at six am). I positioned myself away from the long line of voters and opened my tab to read. There was this guy who was about to throw his sandwich wrapper at the planter box I was sitting on. I looked at him without uttering a word  and he said sorry when he saw me at the same time pocketing his garbage. Here we are clamoring for change when even a simple thing like this we can’t even do properly. It’s a case of  as long as it it not in my backyard, then it’s okay.  I always wear face mask when I take a commute because even if there is a law (that is not even properly implemented) banning smoking in public, people never learn. If simple things like this are blatantly ignored, how can we even expect a positive change  in such a short time?

The outgoing administration has laid the foundation, I just hope we would not spend  the next six years ignoring the economic growth that we have earned the last six years.

I haven’t lost hope for my country  but I cry still.  I even cried harder when I heard  Mar Roxas concede, a man  of true character and strength. He said and I quote:

”For our country, we’ve had a peaceful, successful transfer of power. It is not about me. It is not about anyone. It is about how we love our country, and how we all do all that we can for her. She’s the only one.”


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Left the house very early this morning  for the Via Crucis at our local church.  Josef has work (the American  company does not observe Holy Week but here in our country, it’s a long four-day weekend) so it was just a two-hour visit, a yearly devotion of prayers and reflections  on the Way of the Cross. There was a time when we used to visit several churches every Holy Thursday going as far  as the surrounding towns in Laguna and the eastern loop of Rizal towns followed by the Last Supper mass.  Just finished watching Siete Palabras (Seven Last Words) at Santo Domingo Church where my co-admin, Fr. Louie was one of the preachers. Our Catholic page, Apostles Filipino Catholic Community is on its 6th year this coming April. Sometimes I can’t believe that I have lasted this long at the site to help with our online apostolate. It’s a promise to myself that as long as I can, I would help.

Yesterday, I had a long chat with my priest son, Fr. Lovell. He had fever for four days and ended up being admitted at the hospital.  What a way to celebrate Holy Week.  I prayed hard that he will get well soon.  There are times when he would preside on masses in pilgrimage churches and he would always text me and ask  about my prayer petitions. The answer  is always the same, “good health for the family”.

I always believe in the power of prayers.  I always believe that God answers  prayers in His time.  I am lost without prayers, my intimate and personal conversations with God.  Back when I was undergoing chemotherapy, I always prayed that if I get well, He would bring me back to my normal health so I could take care of my family longer. Answered prayers are special gifts that gladden the heart and uplift the soul.

A close friend had this link posted on her wall, Pins of Light by Fr. J. I made my online retreat there two days ago. It was a beautiful and lovely journey. Every year, they post  something you can reflect on, you can visit it regularly though  because there are several blog posts worth-reading.

May your celebration of Good Friday be as solemn and meaningful as the rest of the week. I am looking forward to Easter Sunday.

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When you walk through life with pain and suffering, God is there walking with you, holding your hand lest you stumble and fall. When you reach your destination, He is there rejoicing with you.

I posted these words on my FB wall a year ago. A few words culled from an earlier blog post,back when the journey of getting well was my priority.  For every pain, there’s a moment of rejoicing. For every setback, there is a time to contemplate. For every smile that comes your way, it seems like there is a light bulb that mirrors your path to happiness. Sometimes  nature does that, it makes you rejoice, contemplate and show how life makes you feel and it enriches your soul.

It’s another day to feel God’s love and let you know that life is wonderful.

a banana blossom

I miss our garden in the province where we have this lovely ornamental banana plant  nestled among the trees, trying hard to show its face.

Tomorrow is Palm Sunday, the start of  Holy Week,  I pray that it would be a solemn and blessed celebration for all of you.



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Indeed, life is a multi-coloured thing –
Dark and blue one moment
Bright and sunny the next.
Every day holds something for us
And if we are to live in this busy cosmos
Of rat-raced competition, fake smiles and
farcical acts of what we call humanity –

     we have to remain firm
     implant  our feet on the ground and hold
     tight to the one last string –
     a hope that may yet come sometime  tomorrow,
     hope is not lost for those who love.

Every day, we meet people from all walks of life
Others touch us, reach out and somehow
Leave their marks upon our soul
A part of us goes, but a more important thing remains –
A happy feeling of knowing that we have made
Someone smile and despite the heavy load
We have  somehow eased the pain and lightened the burden
Even just for a little while.

     every day, we build  impregnable tower
     and hope for something more than just a  simple
     meeting of the eyes.
     we seek permanence among the earthly
     and material things
     mortals and sinners that we are

Life is one big question
The answer to which we never seem to find
Until we are strong enough to admit
That we sre weak  and falllible
Only  then we could be able to say,
We  are  alive.

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