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Posts Tagged ‘silence speaks’


camayan-beach-resort

Go ahead –

Find some quiet place and listen

to the silence

Feel the sun on your face

Savour the sound of the wind

See the distant roar of the sea

Absorb the beauty of another day.

 

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There comes a point in one’s life when it all goes down to reminiscing, remembering the past and some golden dreams.

Those times when your kids were just babies and you were learning how to change diapers and make “hele-hele”  while singing out of tune and discovering to your delight that you could compose  a particular tune right there, waiting for them to close their eyes and sleep.

Those times when you went up the stage every end of the school year to accompany your kids to receive recognition awards and medals.  You were so proud that they were so responsible in their studies.

That one particular afternoon when one of your daughter’s professors called you up over the phone just to say that deliberation was over and that your daughter will be graduating Magna Cum Laude.   You cried and jumped in joyful thanksgiving that she made it to that much coveted Latin honors.

The first time they shared their paychecks with you and said “let’s go out and celebrate Ma”.  Music to your ears.  And the following days when they would just say,  “let us do the grocery shopping Ma, just make a list of the things you need”.  Those days when you would watch movies together or just stay at  home doing a marathon of Prison Break until 3am. Those times playing couch potato with your daughter while waiting for her  final interview for  a new job, watching Korean movies on DVD.  Can’t forget the laughter and the crying sessions we had together.

The day that your daughter got married and you were happy and at the same time sad that she’ll be residing in another place and you won’t get to see her every day. Her excited voice  saying “are you ready to be a grandma?” a few months later and you were so excited you can’t wait. You were just as excited seeing a sonogram a few months after.

The joys of finally seeing your grandson and discovering that you like the sound of being a Nonna. The days in between, the happy days of discovery while your grandson  is growing up to be a smart, intelligent and a loving young boy.  The phone calls when you can’t see each other, the hi and hello, the how are you, the I miss you, the shouts of joy saying “I love you Nonna” and you shouting back saying “I love you too baby”.  The excitement in your daughter’s voice while sharing a copy of your grandson’s report card in Nursery school. He is doing pretty well with very good and excellent grades.

The simple joys of family life sharing meals together, eating out together, sharing stories,  fun moments playing with the grandson. They are priceless moments indeed.

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I remember my last session of chemotherapy done on a December morning at the UST Hospital Benavidez Cancer Institute.  It was a Tuesday, the  Feast of the Immaculate Conception.  My medical oncologist called it my graduation.  Graduation from six cycles of chemotherapy and oral chemo drugs, graduation from the pain brought by the IV injected every three weeks, graduation from various laboratory tests before each cycle of chemo. But it did not end there. I have to go back to my surgical oncologist for regular check-up until five years ago when I totally lifted everything up to God that I am truly cured  and well.  It was a nice feeling to be able to pick up and do regular routines without  having to worry about one’s health, without having to worry about doctor and hospital visits. I hate hospitals. I can’t stand waiting too long outside a doctor’s office with other patients who have their own stories to tell.   Seeing other patients is depressing enough.

When you are sick, sometimes depression sets in but your belief and faith that you will be cured  of your illness helps to combat those feelings. When you believe that you will get well, you will.  I started this blog sharing a bit of what I went through more than seven years ago. I wonder sometimes about those friends I met here who underwent the same journey as I did. Where are they now? I haven’t heard from them for quite a while.  There was a time when some of my posts would be full of sharing about their plights as cancer patients and survivors or some members of the family sharing about it. I miss those because I would want to know how they are now.

Some people say things happen for a reason. I believe though that God allows us to feel the pain of being sick so we’ll get closer to Him. It’s when you are at your lowest that God lifts you up. I remember those lines from  Footprints in the Sand:

One night I had a dream…

I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord, and Across the sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; One belonged to me, and the other to the Lord. When the last scene of my life flashed before us, I looked back at the footprints in the sand. I noticed that many times along the path of my life, There was only one set of footprints.

I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in my life This really bothered me, and I questioned the Lord about it. “Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, You would walk with me all the way; But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, There is only one set of footprints. I don’t understand why in times when I needed you the most, you should leave me.

The Lord replied, “My precious, precious child. I love you, and I would never, never leave you during your times of trial and suffering. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you.

These word often  remind me  to be always grateful for even the smallest blessing that happens in my life.

In times of our needs, we must look back and remember,  He was walking along with us, carrying us in His shoulder.  The times we thought we were alone, the times we thought we carried  the burden, the times we thought we were so helpless with things which we can’t avoid, the times of need, I believe those were the times He carried us through.

 

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Yeay, happy December friends.  December morning breeze. It’s cold outside.

Did you notice? WordPress has again activated the falling icicles in our posts.  It’s lovely, isn’t it?

I’ve been looking forward to December. I guess it’s actually the best month of the year,  a joyful season to celebrate and to bring joy to others too.  Trite as it may sound and no matter how commercialized the celebration of Christmas has become, it is still the best  season to share, to bond with families and friends  and to remember the sacrifice Jesus has made for mankind.  It’s the season of faith, the season of joy and the season of togetherness.

I remember some old Christmas past. Back in the province when we were younger, Christmas was celebrated solemnly, attending the midnight mass and having Noche Buena later. Although it was way, way different from how we celebrate it today, it was the best. Mom would prepare a simple Noche Buena meal  of pancit bihon, suman and hot chocolate. Dad would bring home lots of apples and quezo de bola and a big box of old clothes donated by the high school students of the university (UST) where he used to work and mom would distribute them to our neighbors. My uncle would cook binungey, a delicacy native to Pangasinan. It’s made of  malagkit (sticky rice) and coconut cream cooked in bamboo and is lined up over fire and charcoal.  I think that’s the best there is in cooking rice cakes. You just have to cut the bamboo in half to get the cooked malagkit inside.

A simple fare of binungey.

A simple fare of binungey.

Back then, we didn’t have exchange gifts at home  but Mom and dad would buy us simple toys to play with.  The grade school days were the same when Christmas comes near. We would find a robust tree outside and decorate it with hand-made paper strings, cut colored paper made into small parols and stars, candies  and occasional plastic decor brought by our teacher. Exchange gifts are of simple things like hand towels, bath soap, pencils  or box of candies. We were happy receiving gifts that way.

Nowadays, celebration of Christmas has become a  little  extravagant. Instead of simple gifts, we give gadgets, expensive toys, and the like. Gone are those days when a box of candies would suffice. Christmas wouldn’t be one without ham, pasta, meat recipes, sweets,cakes and what have you.

I hope we would always remember why we celebrate Christmas. I hope we would always remember the little child born on Christmas day.

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I am grateful.

I am grateful to all those online friends who are following my blog and posting comments to my posts, and to those who click  “like” regularly too.  There is a feeling of warmth when you see people reacting, commenting and liking your thoughts.  I always say that sometimes the  “muse” goes on leave for a while and you can’t think of anything to write about. You have written about your one remaining dog, and your  cat and your garden and the blooms you are now enjoying. You have written about how it feels to be alone in your thoughts  and how happy you are to have your family around. You have written about  discovering new blogs and seeing those lovely places that they share.

It makes me smile.

It makes me smile to read the adventures and experiences of other bloggers, how they love sharing anything under the sun. It makes me smile to reach out and exchange thoughts with them. It makes me smile just being here. I have always said time and again that blogging has become a way of life. It has become part of the daily grind that we call life. When things get a little upsetting, I blog.  When things get a little stressful, I blog too. When things make me happy, I share it in cyberspace.   Our thoughts and actions define how we feel, how happy we are. Happiness comes naturally when we cultivate friendship in our own small way. It comes naturally when we interact with other people and make them smile too in the process. Little acts of kindness, some compassionate words to make one happy.

It gives meaning to my life.

Some of  you won’t probably agree on this one. Blogging for me is now a habit I can’t break, one good habit to journey through.  It’s been more than seven long years of blogging. It has somehow change my perspective, the way I see things through other bloggers’ eyes.

How is your blogging journey?

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It’s cold

And the morning breeze

Is like a soft kiss

On my cheeks.

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 I am turning 59, 60, 61 tomorrow….finally. I do remember that when I turned 59 last year, I counted how many months and days more before I become a senior citizen.  Yes, wear your badge proudly.  I will in a few days when I get my SC card.

A friend told me once that celebrating a birthday is actually counting the start of another year in your life so instead of greeting me happy birthday, he says, happy new year. It makes sense because you look forward to another lovely and blessed year. One gets a little sentimental, one gets a little teary-eyed remembering the early years but then, that’s what birthdays are for – reminiscing and giving thanks to God.

When I was a little younger  (think high school) it was not polite to ask the age of a woman  and some would not clearly admit how old they were.  Maybe time has changed because nowadays,  “manangs ” are proud  to stay at the priority lanes in supermarkets, drug stores and other business establishments, they get to see free movies, discounts in travels and hotels – the perks of being a senior citizen🙂

One grows old and acquire wisdom with age.  Fancy a grandma still blogging at the ripe age of sixty…haha! Kidding aside, I guess our past experiences in life give our blog posts  that rich flavor. My goodness, what am I saying here. Sharing, meeting new friends,  seeing how the other half lives, exploring places you’ve never seen before and yes touching lives in your own little way.

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