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Posts Tagged ‘silence speaks’


I am in the middle of reading a book,  my second book of  Amanda Prowse called Will You Remember Me? This is actually my 94th book which I committed to read on my 2017 Goodreads Reading challenge. I didn’t purposely choose this but I could totally relate to the subject because it’s one topic that was so close to me a few years ago.

How do you say goodbye to your beloved family? How do you say goodbye to your close friends? How do you say goodbye to everyone?  This is about having that much-dreaded cancer.  When your days are numbered, how will you react?

I could totally relate to the story because almost eight years ago, I was in the same predicament.  The journey of knowing that you were not that well, the journey of accepting the truth that you have to undergo treatments to get well. I was in a quandary before if I must have that chemotherapy or not. Imagine being afraid that you were not 100% fit and your life may never be the same after the chemo but then you have to decide right there and then before everything is too late.  I am in remission now, thank  God. At times,  I am afraid when my immunity goes low and I have that cold which take a long time to heal. I haven’t totally  recaptured total wellness since I got sick. There are always times when  I feel weak and lethargic. I never let it defeat me though, I am claiming that those day are gone now.

There is no use crying over spilled  milk so people always say but the memory lingers. You remember those days when you can’t almost get up for a day or two after every session of chemotherapy. You remember those days when you can’t even hold a spoon properly because your hands ache  in the process. You remember those days when your arms don’t feel anything and they’re like heavy stones attached to your shoulder.

Being healthy is the best gift one could ever have but as we grow older we feel those aches and pains that go with old age.  Just enjoy these moments, moments of togetherness and bonding, joyful moments to remember. Deep in one’s heart, one could be happy  despite and in spite of.

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For some time now, it has been playing in my head. Am I an old soul? So I took this test  at playbuzz.com and the results seem to be true.

You’re what we call an ancient soul… too old to even be defined as- well, old! Ancient souls were born hundreds of thousands of years ago, and have seen hundred of centuries and millenniums pass by! Your soul is extremely unique and rare to find these days, as rapid advances in technology have forced a lot of people to “move on”. But you still cling in the past- the VERY past- and you’re content and accepting of who you are. You are so mature and wise beyond your years that it is indescribable! Being an ancient soul may make you feel very weary, and it may even feel difficult at times, but don’t forget… ancient souls form very special and rewarding relationships with other people. It is a bond that is so true, so faithful, and so giving beyond any other soul could imagine… So next time you talk to a close friend, just think about how lucky they are to have met a special soul like you!

I am an old soul.

Maybe so. There was a question there if you enjoy being alone. I do. Being alone does not necessarily mean that you are lonely. Being alone  gives you that “me” times that other people don’t seem to find in this crazy world. Being alone, doing what you want to do, enjoying your own company and thinking sometimes of those days long ago.

Mature? Yes, At my age, that goes with the territory. I think I am that kind who think not just twice but several times the repercussions of what I do in life.  There are people who have  aged biologically but are still immature in their decisions and the way they act.  There are people  who like to stay that way – happy-go-lucky, carefree.  Life sometimes gets to us in a way we never expect. Life sometimes is just that, hard. Who says it is easy?

Unique? I’d like to think so but each one of us is unique in this world. Maybe the difference lies in one’s attitude and how one does things. Or maybe attitude spells the difference.

Wise? That I agree.  We acquire wisdom with age. We tend to be more realistic about things as we grow older.   Sometimes, we don’t only accept but we question too.  what is wisdom? It is the soundness of our actions and decisions. It is common sense, good judgment.

I am an old soul. Are you?

I am always touched by this quote from Langston Hughes:

“Hold fast to dreams,
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird,
That cannot fly.”

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Contrary to what WordPress says, I celebrate my anniversary here at the time I actually  published some posts and not the date when I opened an account   which was about a year before I’ve  been actively  blogging here.  Tomorrow would be my 8th year on WordPress. Hooray.

Have you ever thought of blogging about “blogging”?  Did you ever make a post about blogging?

It was a bit awkward opening an account here and not even knowing how to choose a good theme and customize your site. It was a bit awkward to post something to an audience (if there was even one) you didn’t know from Adam.  It was more awkward filling up a blank space on your computer screen thinking of what to write about. When I started here, I published some of my posts from my Multiply site. Back then, I had a premium account at Multiply  I am just a little sad, that site has to close a few years ago.  I was not so happy at the start here because no one commented on my earlier posts except for a few friends I met  earlier at Multiply. The “like” button was only introduced in WordPress last August 2010,  more than a year after I activated  my account here.  Introducing that “like” feature was an awesome way to meet new bloggers.  You get to see their Avatar on your post. I could not remember now the first “like” I received and which post earned it.

A friend introduced me to WordPress. I didn’t know about it until nine years ago when I tried opening an account here.  I’ve stayed with it ever since.  I earned a total of 469,162 stats as of this writing with 1,988 blog posts to boot. Yes, 12  more posts to go before another milestone on the 2,000th post.  If I were to summarize my total posts on  WordPress with four other seldom visited blogs  I created, I’ve reached more than that number already.  Did I say I still have 28% more to go on my free space here? I eventually cut down on posting high-resolution photos. In the past, that ate up  a lot of free space posting them right from my camera.

It is easier now to interact with online friends. It is easier to appreciate and make comments on blogs you like.  It has become a joy to blog about the daily happenings in one’s life, things that makes one happy, daring enough to share and be accepted in the blogosphere.

How’s your blogging journey?

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She was there so early watching the dawn breaks. It is quite lovely just to hear the sounds of chirping birds  and the early morning songs of a new day.

She knows she has to water the garden plants.  The sun would show its face in  a while and she needs  to do her task.   She took hold of the garden hose, pointed it at some shrubs and let the water do its job.  For a  few minutes she was focused on watering her plants, noticed  some new shoots and early summer blooms. She thought, I must take photos of these but for strange reasons, she never gets to do it, taking those pictures. She pointed the water hose at first on her face, the drips of water rapidly cascading to her toes.

Bliss, what bliss to feel the cold of the morning.  And the sun is slowly rising. It’s another day and she is happy.

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For the past several days, I  was not inspired enough to blog and share my thoughts.  I don’t know why. These are those times when I prefer finishing the books I have started on my e-reader, just quiet moments listening to the noise of the day, the usual hustle and bustle  of  city life.

Finally, we’re done trimming the carabao grass (as usual) over the weekend. I love the nice clean look of our small garden. I counted the fruits of our langka (jackfruit trees)  in all stages of growth. There were more than twenty of them and small shoots are still sprouting like crazy. Our  two calamansi trees are in their flowering stage too. I just love the lemony scents of their flowers.  They  delight the senses in such a big way.

Have you ever experienced starting on a new book and a new author and  having that big smile on your face because you found it? That feeling of bliss and well-being because you were inspired by the story? That feeling that everything is okay and you wish the story would go on?  But such is the sad part, a story always has an ending. It may not be something  you expected, it may not be something that you ever thought of, it may not be something that the story calls for, but precisely the ending sometimes leaves you breathless with that silly smile on your face because of such a moving encounter with a good read.

Some books I prefer reading slowly like Upstream  by Mary Oliver. Taking those words in small doses so to speak.  I  always look at the dust jacket of the book and I  smile because I have  a copy. It’s actually my third book of Mary Oliver.  Lately, I started reading Write It Down, Make It Happen by Henriette Anne Klauser, a sort of self-help book.  There was a time during my college years when I got engrossed reading Psychology and  Philosophy books. That waned  over the years until lately. The latter speaks of writing down your goals and achieving them not in the spur of the moment perhaps but through the  blessed days of your life. We speak of miracles, we speak of coincidences but I guess it’s  God’s way of telling us to go on  because He will never abandon us.  Have faith in all you do.

Oh, I can’t believe  it, I am on my 89th book  in my Goodreads 2017 reading challenge.  It’s about  59%  and  36 books ahead of schedule. So glad of this.

Good morning everyone!

 

 

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There is one more day to celebrate this month.

May 14, 2017 is Mother’s Day. Celebrate it with creative gifts with your mum or nanay or mommy or whatever you call her in the process.  They need not be expensive gifts that you have to buy. You can even share your precious  time with her.

The gift of motherhood.

Precious.

Wonderful.

Lovely.

There was a time when you were old enough to take care of your younger siblings that you wondered how it is to be a mother. There was a time when you asked yourself, will I be a mother someday? Will I be good? Will I be blessed with lovely and wonderful kids?

There is no cut and dried formula that would make you the best mother in the world.  There is no hard and fast rule that you have to follow.  Motherhood is a learned experience and that comes from the heart. Once you become one, you are like a bear always protecting her cubs.

Who says motherhood is easy?

Being a mother may be the hardest job you will ever have.  24/7 may not be enough for you to learn things along the way. It’s funny how sometimes  you learn from a mere baby.  The gift of patience, the gift of giving, the gift of unconditional love – these will always be learning curves in your life. You smile at the thought of those early days when a mere movement of your sleeping child was a pause for concern. You smile at the thought when you catches his or her glance and smile back at you. You remember the first words. you keep record of those days  when they first learned those words,  when they first learned how to walk, when their first tooth appeared, when they had their first hair cut. The many blessings of firsts in their lives.

You don’t stop to be a mother just because you turned sixty. You’ll always be one until the end of your life.  When you are blessed with caring and responsible kids, it’s really a big bonus.  When you are blessed with smart and intelligent kids, it’s  probably like you won in a major lotto draw although when you are blessed with kids, it would be enough.

Motherhood.

I would not exchange it to any occupation in the world.

 

 

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♪♪♫Now we are tall, and Christmas trees are small,
and you don’t ask the time of day.
But you and I, our love will never die,
but guess we’ll cry come first of May.♫♪♫

Aren’t you reminded of these song lyrics every time May comes? I am. Today is our village fiesta. There was a 7am mass in honor of St. Joseph the Worker, the patron saint of the village. A band played in some streets right after the mass.

My brother and his family fetched Mom today.  She stayed here with us for almost ten months and she was really excited to go home. Back in the province she could attend to her vegetable garden and do general cleaning in her room which was left vacant  for so long. They brought with them six dozens of Alaminos longganisa  ( our local sausage) , three big bags of  Santol  and a bag of Indian mango. Santol is  also called wild mangosteen. I already gave one bag to my other brother here, gave some to our neighbor and there are plenty yet. Our neighbor suggested that I make Santol jam  or maybe candied Santol. I am thinking about it since I haven’t  yet tried making a Santol jam or candy before.  I have a recipe though for it being made into a tasty dish. I’ll probably try the Santol candy. Would research on how to make it.

Started on the carabao grass late this afternoon. Surprisingly there was no wind so it was still hot at around 4pm. It would probably take me more days to finish the whole thing  😦

By the way, speaking of posts, this is my 1,981st for this blog. Nineteen more to go before reaching another milestone.  Did I say I am looking forward to the month of May? It’s Mama Mary’s month.  Have a fruitful and happy month of May.

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