Morning Musings

Again for the nth time, I  am not inclined to write. Sometimes I feel like I am living in a vacuum, sucked by the daily grind of life. Looking at the world with sometimes a tremulous smile on my face thinking of a lot of things from the past and those happening around lately. I know, I  cannot change the world, I have to go with the flow, what life brings and how life treats me. 

The days have been a little uneventful. Yesterday, I went to Watsons to fill up my medicine requirements for the month. Getting tired of taking five kinds of medicines in a day plus a  glass of organic barley. Next I went to buy a cover for my new phone and a midnight blue casing. Josef transferred my SIM card to it so I am using two phones now and a tablet for the three SIM cards that I have. Although my other tablet has no SIM, I still can update my blog, check Facebook in the morning and read my e-books uploaded years back. As long as Messenger is active, I can make calls anytime.

Tomorrow  is the second death anniversary of my brother Alden. I can still  vividly remember those days when he struggled with colon  cancer for three years. The three of us Roy, my eldest brother,  Alden and I suffered the same ailment. My parents were cancer free all their lives but my two aunts, half-siblings of Dad died from colon cancer.

Feeling sad remembering, always remembering the four lives of family members lost in our midst – my parents, Alden and another brother who died when he was barely a year old. May they rest in eternal peace with the Lord.

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Just Thoughts

Dreaming that one day

I’ll be healthy enough

To go places.

Dreaming that I won ‘t ever see

The face of the hospital in my life again.

Dreaming that one day,

I’ll share some adventures with you

And make memories to last.

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Just Grateful

The pitter patter of raindrops on an early morning

Fresh cup of coffee

A cup of mango orange tea

Sunny side up with toasted bread

Quick hug from our fur babies

Freshly laundered sheets

Flowers in the garden

Finding another book to read

Afternoon naps

Cozy socks

Deep conversations with friends

Surprise call from a friend

Receiving a letter from a snail mail

Smiles, smiles smiles.

Waking up early to see the sunrise.

Catching the morning breeze on your face

A well-tended garden

Inspiring homilies from your favorite priests

Meeting new friends

Being at peace with one’s self

Crying with joy

A new day, a new beginning

Then the story begins again.

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Dream On

Nissa and I were both waiting for a ride, she to go to her class and I to go to the office. After a while she went back home because she forgot her project. I waited and waited but the only available ride was a bus going to EDSA. I wonder why it was so full. While we were on our bus ride, a passenger alighted while the traffic signal was on “STOP” without the driver’s knowledge. Then it suddenly went green and I saw the passenger, his head detached from his body and yet all the cars passing by did not stop. I was trembling when I saw the accident.

I waited for another ride going to Ayala Avenue and some people going to the same place pointed to me where to get one. I think I walked for a mile before getting one. I was relieved when I saw the tall buildings of Ayala Avenue and when I reached the office, I was thinking of how to get home again without our service vehicle.

Gosh, that was so vivid and it seemed it took so long.

But it was only a dream.

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SUNDAY THOUGHTS

It’s been a while that it rains every afternoon preventing me from visiting the garden again. I’ve long wanted to repot the plants I bought a couple of months ago. Finally, the Cinamumu plants that my former boss at the bank gave me are bearing those tiny green buds which will turn into scented yellow blooms.

Cloudy skies at the most. Don’t get me wrong, clouds are one of my favorite subjects in photography but only when I could see the blue sky in the background. Sometimes on a clear day, they move so fast and you could see various figures up there.

I miss seeing the stars at night. They make me dream of distant places I have yet to traverse. Dreaming at least keep us grounded in our lives. I remember those nights wayback in the province when my brothers and some cousins would watch the starry night lying on the grass in front of the house while munching on boiled peanuts or sweet potato. We seldom had bread but we had rootcrops instead.

I was one of those with many childhood dreams. I dreamt of finishing a course in college in a big university, have a job in one of those prestigious banks in Ayala Avenue, have my own family and nice house in the suburb. Simple dreams you might say, but back in those days, for a provincial lass like me, those dreams were too big. One by one they came true. I graduated in the oldest Catholic university in Asia. University of Santo Tomas was founded in 1611. I earned a degree in Economics. I was employed in the oldest bank in the country, Bank of the Philippine Islands which opened its doors in 1851. I have two kids who I am so proud of. Nissa is a manager at Bank of the Philippine Island, Josef works at JP Morgan Chase Bank. They both graduated in UST too. So proud of my precious, smart and talented grandson. Gosh, I’ll be turning 65 in three days.

I remember this lovely quote from Langston Hughes that I have memorized during my college years.

Hold fast to dreams for if dreams die, life is like a broken-winged bird that cannot fly.

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Dreaming While Awake

Oh my! This is simply weird.

I had a very lovely dream last night but for the life of me, I could not remember a thing when I woke up. I didn’t want to open my eyes because that would mean I am awake. I needed to go to the bathroom and that was what woke me. I used to have these little notebook and pen on my night table to write what I remember about my dream but over the years I got lazy. Sometimes you dream myriad of subjects, people and friends you remember, your family, certain places that you’ve been to, places you want to go to, things that are scary or sometimes you dream of that thing you were thinking about before you went to sleep.

Three words.

Begonia.

Immunity.

Antibodies.

Would you believe that I keep forgetting all these three lately? That name of the plant I used to have in my garden, its name is always at the tip of my tongue, but I usually forget. Take the words immunity and antibodies. These words became familiar to me when I had Covid more than two months ago. Goodness gracious, why couldn’t I remember them at the spur of the moment. I have to write them down in my journal. Weird, isn’t it? Does it happen to you?

Whoa, I am really getting old😉😘🙂

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My Mind Wanders

Got a little nostalgic while weeding so early this morning. I have to harvest the young sweet potato vines for our sinigang. It’s just a small patch, a square meter space adjacent to my growing guava tree.

I remember those days when my oldest brother and I were in grade school in the province and my two younger brothers were here in Manila with Dad and Mom. We grew up in the province with my maternal grandmother until we transferred here in Manila when we were in high school. I loved our previous house, it was built on stilts with weaved buho bamboo for sidings and capiz windows. It has a thatched roof which my dad changes every four or five years I think with the help of some of our neighbors. It is usually done during the summer months and when the water reed is dry enough for arranging into mini batches then attached to long bamboo poles. Back then, bayanihan was the trend in our province. You invite neighbors to help for the day’s job but they don’t accept payment except for free lunch and snacks.

Our dining chairs were made of two long wood benches on each side of the table and two chairs at each end. It sits ten people. What I remember clearly was this very low table in our kitchen which we called dulang. It’s an Indian style seating but I loved it. I used to see furnitures like those in some Korean telenovelas.

An example of a dulang.

Given the style and designs of houses nowadays, it is quite impractical to have a dulang in your kitchen because it eats a lot of space. During those days though, they were used in so many homes in the province. I remember only using the dining table when we had guests.

We also had what we called banggera, an open shelf used for those plates and drinking glasses with a large drinking pot with a faucet. The large pot was was made of clay. It lets the water cool throughout the day.

How a banggera looks like.

I’m dreaming of having a small nipa hut besides our house in the province and with vegetables and ornamentals growing there. My brother who is an architect said it could be done but wood building materials are more expensive. I said only the comfort room and the kitchen will be made in concrete while the rest would be made of bamboo. Actually, there are now so many small/miniature huts which one could place in a garden but they don’t have the amenities of a bedroom, restroom and kitchen.

My mind wanders.

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Those Funny Moments

Nate could act like a grown-up sometimes.  I read these from Nissa’s wall and I was like, “he could say these?” But it is so typical of Nate. He is just six acting like twenty. Amazing!

“I’ll be an engineer or a pilot for you someday, Mom. All the money I’ll get, I’ll give to you. We will buy anything you want. Because you take good care of me, it’s my turn to take care of you. A promise is a promise!”

He hasn’t forgotten his dreams of  being a pilot someday. When he graduated from Kinder I two years ago, he donned a pilot’s uniform, then he met an actual pilot at the Manila Hotel where their graduation was held.

Looking good in your uniform Nate!

He felt suddenly shy meeting a real pilot.

Out of the blue, he blurted out:

“Mommy how did you break up with your ex-boyfriend? Why did you break up? Because di matibay ang love niyo?” 
“Why are you asking?”
“Because I want to know. What did daddy say when you said you already had a boyfriend? (didn’t tell him that!)”
What is your ex-boyfriend’s name?

Haha, kaloka.

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Today’s Quote

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined. – henry david thoreau

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Dreams

I came across these words a few minutes ago and I thought of those days from way back .

If your dream requires patience, give it.

It was written by a certain M.Rusell Ballard.I don’t know him/her from Adam but I love the thought, waiting for your dreams to happen.

Dreams.

We all dream, don’t we? Awake or asleep we have those dreams that seem like our lives’ twins. We never stop dreaming just because.  It’s precisely why dreams are just that, dreams. Not all of them come true of course. There are times when we get disappointed because our dreams didn’t happen like we expected them. Dreaming is free so we always say, I agree. We don’t need a single centavo for those lovely dreams we have in our lives. When we expect them to come true though, we need a lot of patience to wait. We need to hope that sometimes, things happen the best way we expect and we are elated. Just the thought that we are happy in the process is already a dream come true.

When I was a little younger, (think high school days), I dreamed of writing my thoughts on paper then probably read them a few years after. I kept journals earlier on, one for my doodles and writings and several for the quotes I have collected through the years of reading.  A few years ago,  a friend coached me on how to start a blog and suggested that I start at WordPress. What he didn’t know was that I’ve already been posting a few at Friendster. then Multiply came and I subscribed to that too. My brother  who lives in Tulsa even shouldered my monthly premium payments to maintain my account at  Multiply. such two friendly sites eventually closed but I maintained my friendship with a few close people who followed me at Facebook. Such social sites helped me a lot in my writing attempts.

I am here now at WordPress and have been for the past eight years. I do enjoy  updating my blogs here and reading posts from friends that I follow.  I don’t write long posts, an average of 500 words is enough for me. Sometimes I get bored reading a long,  long blog post.

Dreams.

We always dream of a good life and good health. We always dream that we get to meet people who would help us grow in the process. We dream of dreams that are sometimes sort of impossible to come true but we keep dreaming still.

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