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Posts Tagged ‘relationships’


Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.- Khalil Gibran

Humans that we are, sometimes we always ask “why me?”  or “why us?” And you would not be human enough if at some time in your life you haven’t gone through such a situation where your faith is tested, up to how far you can endure, up to how long you can stay unaffected by such pain that comes into it. They always say that time heals everything, that no matter how hard or how heavy the burden is, you are not alone. God allows  us to experience pain so we would know what joy really means.

Pain does not have to be a negative feeling in your heart. When you experience pain, all your half-hidden strength and courage come to the fore of your being. And slowly you learn to let go. You learn (for real) that life is not really perfect and it is in the imperfections that give it its meaning. You learn (again) that forever is sometimes just a word, a meaningless promise meant to be broken.  You learn that honesty is sometimes a twisted truth meant to hurt you.  If people would find the courage to communicate and listen (and I mean really listen well, the hidden meanings, the half-truth and half-lies), don’t you think this would be a better place to live in?

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Early this morning, I thought of  “Men are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” as the title for this blog. But that is not very original, don’t you think? I don’t want John Gray to sue me copying book titles for my blog. What brought this on, you ask?

I was watching another episode of  Kris Tv this morning (one of those times that I didn’t forget to switch on the TV) and their topic deals on differences about what else, men and women, boys and girls who form a relationship. What makes them tick?  An hour would not really be enough to tell and discuss the differences between a boy and a girl when it comes to relationships. Kris has the Us Girls Iya Villania, Angel Aquino and Cheska Garcia-Kramer as her guests, with Jimmy Bondoc and Kean Cipriano on the other side of the fence. Keano said he is apparently single (whatever that means) and Jimmy said he has a semi-serious relationship with a businesswoman. In Facebook, that reads, the relationship is quite, quite “complicated”.  The girls are into long-term relationship except for one who has just broken up with her guy this year.

Women could talk about accessories like shoes, bags, and dresses the whole day but men would rather focus on sports, watch Discovery Channel, and some DIY jobs that need to be done at home. When it comes to arguments, women always love to have the upper hand (in Tagalog, ayaw patalo) and the last say. With men, they discuss their problems with their buddies, say, high school friends instead of an outright confrontation  with the women in their lives. I guess, this is all subjective, not all men can downright share what’s bugging them with their buddies since they have this feeling of being called weak when they can’t face their problems  on their own.  Jimmy says, however, that you won’t even attempt to hide anything when you are with your true friends.  I agree to a certain extent but there are things that should be left alone with the couple to decide,(assuming that they are married) there are things that should and may remain private in the four walls of their homes. 

When is the right time to break up?  Should it always be the girl who should initiate it? In any relationship, when you feel that you are not growing as a person, when you feel that there is no more “me” inside you,  will it be time to say goodbye? This may be easier in a getting to know you stage or what they call the boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. In marriage though, the ballgame is altogether different. You can’t just walk out on your husband or wife just because you had an argument, you can’t just walk out from your family just because you are no longer happy on where the relationship is going. In any break-up you realize too late what you’ve lost.

We have these posts and comments at our AFCC Tambayan group. Some of our members are single men and women in their early thirties. Some of them are looking for serious relationships. Everyone is playing cupid and matchmaker and one of them started calling me Ninang Arlene with Fr. Louie as their Ninong and officiating priest, if ever.  We had some good laughs about it all.   All is fair in love so they say, what’s stopping you guys? We might witness the first ever love team in our group one of these days.

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