Posts Tagged ‘conquering your fears’

Sometimes I wonder how is it to win all the battles in my life.

It is quite hard to smile when your heart is scarred. I have to be brave, I know that. I have to be strong, I know that too. Sometimes when I am alone in my thoughts, a lot of things play in my mind.

I was at the Medical City Clinic as early as 6:30am and waited for it to open at 8am. One should be there early since there are so many patients waiting. Sometimes I wonder, there are so many people who are not healthy. The only advantage for senior citizens like me is that we are always given priorities. After blood extraction for my FBS test, I had my breakfast at 9am at the supermarket of SM City Ortigas. I bought a Zinger sandwich at KFC before going to the clinic.

Imagine the two hours of waiting for my ENT for another check-up. She downloaded the results of my CT scan from the DVD provided by The Medical City Radiology and uploaded them on her phone. So many images, she compared how a normal ear looks like (my right) versus the infected one on my left. Although she told me that that there was no need to clean it and it is dry and not painful, I was not that happy about the results. She gave another free bottle of Candiva ear drops. Clotrimazole is antifungal.There are issues that she needs to explain to someone with a normal hearing. I asked Josef if he could accompany me to her other clinic at Sta. Lucia mall on Saturday. It is really hard if I cannot understand all of it and she can’t write them all down. Good thing Josef agreed.

Prayers, always prayers. The peace and quiet of the place is conducive enough for praying. With eyes closed and holding the bracelet rosary that Josef gave me years ago, I finished the whole gamut of fifteen mysteries. So uplifting.

Mom does not understand why I have to leave the house twice a week. At her age, things are quite hard to explain, besides her sense of hearing is not good too. I wonder if this is hereditary because Noel, our youngest has hearing aids on both ears.

Trying to smile despite the tears, trying to be brave despite the fears😀😘🥰


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91% done! Ayayay 🙂  Did you know that I finished two books in three days? And that is why I missed blogging again. I was quite engrossed reading. I am almost there, nine books more to go before I finish the challenge and that means 25 books ahead of schedule. I read a lot at night. The best way to spend the time before going to sleep. Sometimes, I could consume two hot mugs of tea in different flavors of course. I have Manuka honey,  cranberry and ginger now by Lois tea. I alternate it with the Twinings flavors that we bought earlier.

I had a dream last night but it was kind of weird. I dreamt of riding a ferris wheel, a big one at that somewhere in Tagaytay.   It does exist and is called Sky Ranch, a 5-hectare leisure park south of Manila. I don’t know which is better, Enchanted Kingdom or this one.  I’ve been to Enchanted Kingdom during one of Bank of PI’s family days.  My two kids have been there a lot of times and enjoyed the rides.

The truth is I am afraid of heights  (you may visit the link I posted above,those rides in Enchanted Kingdom). Even a height of 20 floors in our  office before makes my knees shake and wobble.  It still does when I go to places high enough for me to look down. The first and last time that I rode a ferris wheel was when I was in high school.   Years ago when we were still living in Quezon City, we celebrated the Feast of the Sacred Heart during the months of June and usually, ferias in strategic places were constructed and one of them was the ferris wheel.  Feria is a Spanish word meaning carnival or a festival. That dream that occured last night is an antithesis  of my fear. I was actually enjoying the ride. I don’t really know what it means.

Had I finally conquered it?

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