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Archive for the ‘ramblings’ Category


It’s a day wasted. I was supposed to file my SSS retirement forms  today but when I got there at exactly 8am, the slots for thirty people are already filled up. What a shame!  The branch near our place opens at 7am and it was already full when I arrived. To think that inquiries and other transactions are categorized in five windows. Maybe tomorrow I have to be there and line up at 6am so I could be included in their 30 slots for filing of retirement/pension benefits.  Too bad really. Government services in these areas are still so slow.

We are now officially under the amihan season with cold winds and long nights. The colder climate is always a welcome thing from the months of November until February the following year.  It’s during November though that we are visited by stronger  and more powerful typhoons  and  weather disturbances.  There is a tropical storm named Meari  being monitored by PAGASA and  another tropical depression both on the eastern side of Luzon. I do hope they won’t become strong typhoons and won’t bring too much rain in those areas.  Come to think of it, we are sometimes visited by typhoons too during December and they are as strong as those we usually have during November.  It’s  cloudy today.

Our country is teetering on the edge.  News says that as of the first week of November 2016, there have been  over 4,700 deaths, both from legitimate police operations and vigilante-style or unexplained killings since the president  assumed office last July. It seems that this government is more focused on war on drugs than on other aspects like the economy which is slowly sliding down.  And he is saying that these killings  might reach up to 30,000.  Again my question is where are we going?  Investors’ confidence is at stake here.  How could we  encourage foreign investments  if this government is only focused on one thing?  How could we solve poverty which is the main reason why people down the line are into drugs?  He is now the head a  sovereign state and must not only focus on domestic issues but on foreign relations as well. He is against dictatorship but is aligned with the Marcoses.  How could you believe in a foul-mouth, slut-shaming, uncouth and boorish man at the realm?  Please God save our country. We are being divided instead of being one as a nation.  It’s so sad 😦

 

 

 

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Nostalgia.

Yes, I am feeling a little nostalgic at the moment.  Last night, I reread a book of poems by Rod McKuen, one of the two books that I have entitled Alone. You can actually finish it in less than an hour but when you are absorbing each word, enjoying what it means in your life and looking back at   those life journeys you had before, it is even more nostalgic. The flow of each word is like a balm to your heart.

This is actually my 1,849th post in this particular blog, not counting  the posts on the other four blogs  I have on gardening, photography, my grandson Nate and a newly minted one for when I use up the remaining 29% free space allowed here. It’s been a long journey, blogging for a little more than seven years. Sometimes, I wonder how I was able to share those  thoughts in between.

I remember a few lines from my 1,000th post four years ago. I can’t believe I lasted this long sharing my thoughts with the world. Still hoping I could inspire more, I am grateful for those online friends who leave inspiring words too, coming back now and again to update me with their journey.

“Documenting one’s own frailties, insecurities, battles and happy thoughts takes a lot of courage, more so if you are doing it publicly through a blog. One thing though that I don’t regret doing is sharing my plight as a cancer patient and survivor. I started this three years ago right after I found out I had colon cancer. Each of us has her own coping mechanism and mine was writing my thoughts and sharing it . I’ve always said and I will say it again that if I could touch a single soul out there who’ll draw a little inspiration on what I went through, then that would be enough, it would make me happy. To my surprise, a few online friends found some of my blogs helpful in their own journey, having experienced the same thing that I did. Kindred spirits, if I must say.”

We can do better, we can reach our dreams, we can learn to fly.

I reviewed some of the photos I took since I learned how to take  shots of my garden blooms.  I transferred them to a hard drive when Multiply closed its doors  and I have to find a way to save all those shots.  This shot is nothing new here, I remember posting it when I was still active in participating in the weekly photo challenge at WordPress.

lifes-journey

A moment in time.

They were flying in formation at a speed that I could not capture so well. I love taking photos of clouds on a clear day but they came as a bonus.  Seeing nature at its best keeps you grounded, the beauty of one summer day etched in your memory.  Sometimes, watching the sun show its face on a bright morning is blessing enough. Sometimes, a hesitant smile from a stranger you meet along the road of life makes the day worthwhile.  Sometimes, finding a lovely bloom in your garden is grace enough.  Dreams may not always turn into reality but believing in it takes you to another level, a happy feeling that life would always be something to treasure  no matter what.

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I love  Sundays.

We have to wake up early though since we have to hear mass at 6:30am. Sundays are always lazy days for me.  I love bargaining with market vendors on what fruits are in season and since it is almost summer, you can choose from an array of fruits and root crops displayed on fruit stands near the church. We brought home two kilos of bananas, half a kilo of fresh peanuts and  a bunch of turnips. Heaven!

The other day I was looking  at old photos and albums  at Photobucket. I never realized that there are thousands of photos that I uploaded there. They are all labeled private. I laughed and smiled while browsing  and remembering those places we visited.  Come to think of it, I can count the photos on my fingers where I had solo shots. When you are behind a camera, you don’t get your pictures taken, right? It’s okay though, I’d rather point my camera to a lovely bloom or at nature’s best angle, at Nate’s engaging smiles.

image

Long before the word selfie was created,  I had  this photo taken on an early morning walk  in Caleruega. There was a time when I was elated just bringing a camera, a journal and a pen on morning walks like this.  There is something nice about catching an image  and writing about it. That lovely feeling of being in a certain place, alone with nature and listening to the sounds that morning brings. That lovely feeling of  discovering something that brings a smile and inspired thoughts that you have to commit on paper.  That lovely feeling of just  being there to enjoy the beauty of it all.

I don’t like  my face plastered  in every corner of social media like Facebook. I don’t even know how to use instagram.  My cover photos on FB are macro shots of flowers and blooms. WordPress is enough for me.

Happy Sunday everyone!

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I found my old tattered journal from wayback. The spine  has detached itself from the pages that were yellowed with age. Has it been 38 years ago? Yes,it was and  this was the younger me.

Dear Mayblue

It hurts really, this empty feeling within me. I like to be strong again just like old  times when I used to laugh my worries away, just like those days when I could wear a smile amidst problems. Oh, whats the use of recounting those things.

I used to be part of the audience, passive and all that but how I came to be the actress myself, I never know. All I am sure of is that, now, there is no turning back, no matter what reality has  in store for me, no matter how it hurts. I must go on. Can’t you see Mayblue, I am trying to be brave.

Some people think what a fine actress I am.  Others perhaps look down with disdain. The only thing that consoles me is the fact that every one of us in this cruel  world  is a thespian, the only difference is that are cast in different roles. Some play the lead role,  some are afraid to plunge their hands in the deep water lest they be drowned. I was one of the latter until I found myself playing the big part of the game.

I was sure of myself then. Call it the magic  of love reigning over me. I looked at life with rose-colored eye glasses with misty mornings and sun-bright days. I was way up and I felt great. See what love can bring Mayblue?

But when you have loved deeply and have been hurt so bad, you see things  in a different perspective, in a different light. I found myself running away from my own ghost, even to the point of  pitying myself sometimes. One thing I can assure you is that, I  never regretted what has been, after all, love was such a beautiful experience.

Don’t be deceived by what you see. Despite that calm facade, that undisturbed countenance, look closely and you’ll see a girl crying inside.

P.S.

I wish you were here. I  want to have a good cry.

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My dwarf Pandakaki blooms.

My dwarf Pandakaki blooms.

It’s almost a week now since the rainy days started, three days in a row where all levels of classes in most schools  in Metro Manila and suburbs were suspended due to the inclement weather. Typhoon Egay left a few days ago but it was bold enough to leave monsoon rains in the metropolis. Typhoon Falcon entered the Philippine area of responsibility the other night. It didn’t make a landfall but dumped more rains and saturated the streets of Metro Manila. It’s still a bit dark outside and drizzling. Oh, can’t help but sip a hot cup of coffee (yes, my third cup for the week). And why am I even counting? I haven’t touched the brew for quite sometime, that’s why.

One finds beauty even on a dark rainy day. These tiny white blooms are just so lovely to ignore. They bring a bit of sunshine to an otherwise bleak morning.

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The morning comes

just a little too late

for reminiscing.

The coffee has gone cold

and the little sparrows

singing a while ago

have flown.

I wonder if she realizes

that she is alone now

with silence for company,

reminiscing still.

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For a while now, since WordPress upgraded to a new post format, I have noticed this. I still use the old one by going to the Dashboard, choosing Posts then Add New. It will bring you to the old format. Since I am so used to it for the past five years or so, I still find it convenient and easier to do a blog post in this set-up. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks that easily, right?  I rather like the new apps and updates WordPress is making but sometimes, I find it harder to blog using all these.

I noticed that even if I post a new blog entry through this old format, when I make edits once it is posted, it reverts back to the new one with all my paragraphs lumped together in just one whole mess so I have to edit it again and press enter twice to make those paragraphs appear again. Why is this so? Have you noticed it too?

I am glad though that when I looked at my stats today, it finally reached 325,014. Today is Holy Saturday, easier to remember that Holy Week 2015 brought me followers too. The past three days, I was surprised by the number of visitors reading my blog posts.  It’s a nice feeling to be noticed in the blogging world.  Oh and there is 31% more left for me to use.

Blogging has become a way of life….certainly. I could not imagine my days not visiting WordPress. I could not imagine reading a blog post from my WordPress friends without commenting. I am enriched by the things they share in their blogs. I learn a lot too seeing photos of places I have never visited. I am blessed knowing a bit of a different culture from mine.

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