Archive for the ‘ramblings’ Category


Yes, I am feeling a little nostalgic at the moment.  Last night, I reread a book of poems by Rod McKuen, one of the two books that I have entitled Alone. You can actually finish it in less than an hour but when you are absorbing each word, enjoying what it means in your life and looking back at   those life journeys you had before, it is even more nostalgic. The flow of each word is like a balm to your heart.

This is actually my 1,849th post in this particular blog, not counting  the posts on the other four blogs  I have on gardening, photography, my grandson Nate and a newly minted one for when I use up the remaining 29% free space allowed here. It’s been a long journey, blogging for a little more than seven years. Sometimes, I wonder how I was able to share those  thoughts in between.

I remember a few lines from my 1,000th post four years ago. I can’t believe I lasted this long sharing my thoughts with the world. Still hoping I could inspire more, I am grateful for those online friends who leave inspiring words too, coming back now and again to update me with their journey.

“Documenting one’s own frailties, insecurities, battles and happy thoughts takes a lot of courage, more so if you are doing it publicly through a blog. One thing though that I don’t regret doing is sharing my plight as a cancer patient and survivor. I started this three years ago right after I found out I had colon cancer. Each of us has her own coping mechanism and mine was writing my thoughts and sharing it . I’ve always said and I will say it again that if I could touch a single soul out there who’ll draw a little inspiration on what I went through, then that would be enough, it would make me happy. To my surprise, a few online friends found some of my blogs helpful in their own journey, having experienced the same thing that I did. Kindred spirits, if I must say.”

We can do better, we can reach our dreams, we can learn to fly.

I reviewed some of the photos I took since I learned how to take  shots of my garden blooms.  I transferred them to a hard drive when Multiply closed its doors  and I have to find a way to save all those shots.  This shot is nothing new here, I remember posting it when I was still active in participating in the weekly photo challenge at WordPress.


A moment in time.

They were flying in formation at a speed that I could not capture so well. I love taking photos of clouds on a clear day but they came as a bonus.  Seeing nature at its best keeps you grounded, the beauty of one summer day etched in your memory.  Sometimes, watching the sun show its face on a bright morning is blessing enough. Sometimes, a hesitant smile from a stranger you meet along the road of life makes the day worthwhile.  Sometimes, finding a lovely bloom in your garden is grace enough.  Dreams may not always turn into reality but believing in it takes you to another level, a happy feeling that life would always be something to treasure  no matter what.

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I love  Sundays.

We have to wake up early though since we have to hear mass at 6:30am. Sundays are always lazy days for me.  I love bargaining with market vendors on what fruits are in season and since it is almost summer, you can choose from an array of fruits and root crops displayed on fruit stands near the church. We brought home two kilos of bananas, half a kilo of fresh peanuts and  a bunch of turnips. Heaven!

The other day I was looking  at old photos and albums  at Photobucket. I never realized that there are thousands of photos that I uploaded there. They are all labeled private. I laughed and smiled while browsing  and remembering those places we visited.  Come to think of it, I can count the photos on my fingers where I had solo shots. When you are behind a camera, you don’t get your pictures taken, right? It’s okay though, I’d rather point my camera to a lovely bloom or at nature’s best angle, at Nate’s engaging smiles.


Long before the word selfie was created,  I had  this photo taken on an early morning walk  in Caleruega. There was a time when I was elated just bringing a camera, a journal and a pen on morning walks like this.  There is something nice about catching an image  and writing about it. That lovely feeling of being in a certain place, alone with nature and listening to the sounds that morning brings. That lovely feeling of  discovering something that brings a smile and inspired thoughts that you have to commit on paper.  That lovely feeling of just  being there to enjoy the beauty of it all.

I don’t like  my face plastered  in every corner of social media like Facebook. I don’t even know how to use instagram.  My cover photos on FB are macro shots of flowers and blooms. WordPress is enough for me.

Happy Sunday everyone!

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I found my old tattered journal from wayback. The spine  has detached itself from the pages that were yellowed with age. Has it been 38 years ago? Yes,it was and  this was the younger me.

Dear Mayblue

It hurts really, this empty feeling within me. I like to be strong again just like old  times when I used to laugh my worries away, just like those days when I could wear a smile amidst problems. Oh, whats the use of recounting those things.

I used to be part of the audience, passive and all that but how I came to be the actress myself, I never know. All I am sure of is that, now, there is no turning back, no matter what reality has  in store for me, no matter how it hurts. I must go on. Can’t you see Mayblue, I am trying to be brave.

Some people think what a fine actress I am.  Others perhaps look down with disdain. The only thing that consoles me is the fact that every one of us in this cruel  world  is a thespian, the only difference is that are cast in different roles. Some play the lead role,  some are afraid to plunge their hands in the deep water lest they be drowned. I was one of the latter until I found myself playing the big part of the game.

I was sure of myself then. Call it the magic  of love reigning over me. I looked at life with rose-colored eye glasses with misty mornings and sun-bright days. I was way up and I felt great. See what love can bring Mayblue?

But when you have loved deeply and have been hurt so bad, you see things  in a different perspective, in a different light. I found myself running away from my own ghost, even to the point of  pitying myself sometimes. One thing I can assure you is that, I  never regretted what has been, after all, love was such a beautiful experience.

Don’t be deceived by what you see. Despite that calm facade, that undisturbed countenance, look closely and you’ll see a girl crying inside.


I wish you were here. I  want to have a good cry.

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My dwarf Pandakaki blooms.

My dwarf Pandakaki blooms.

It’s almost a week now since the rainy days started, three days in a row where all levels of classes in most schools  in Metro Manila and suburbs were suspended due to the inclement weather. Typhoon Egay left a few days ago but it was bold enough to leave monsoon rains in the metropolis. Typhoon Falcon entered the Philippine area of responsibility the other night. It didn’t make a landfall but dumped more rains and saturated the streets of Metro Manila. It’s still a bit dark outside and drizzling. Oh, can’t help but sip a hot cup of coffee (yes, my third cup for the week). And why am I even counting? I haven’t touched the brew for quite sometime, that’s why.

One finds beauty even on a dark rainy day. These tiny white blooms are just so lovely to ignore. They bring a bit of sunshine to an otherwise bleak morning.

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The morning comes

just a little too late

for reminiscing.

The coffee has gone cold

and the little sparrows

singing a while ago

have flown.

I wonder if she realizes

that she is alone now

with silence for company,

reminiscing still.

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For a while now, since WordPress upgraded to a new post format, I have noticed this. I still use the old one by going to the Dashboard, choosing Posts then Add New. It will bring you to the old format. Since I am so used to it for the past five years or so, I still find it convenient and easier to do a blog post in this set-up. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks that easily, right?  I rather like the new apps and updates WordPress is making but sometimes, I find it harder to blog using all these.

I noticed that even if I post a new blog entry through this old format, when I make edits once it is posted, it reverts back to the new one with all my paragraphs lumped together in just one whole mess so I have to edit it again and press enter twice to make those paragraphs appear again. Why is this so? Have you noticed it too?

I am glad though that when I looked at my stats today, it finally reached 325,014. Today is Holy Saturday, easier to remember that Holy Week 2015 brought me followers too. The past three days, I was surprised by the number of visitors reading my blog posts.  It’s a nice feeling to be noticed in the blogging world.  Oh and there is 31% more left for me to use.

Blogging has become a way of life….certainly. I could not imagine my days not visiting WordPress. I could not imagine reading a blog post from my WordPress friends without commenting. I am enriched by the things they share in their blogs. I learn a lot too seeing photos of places I have never visited. I am blessed knowing a bit of a different culture from mine.

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Allow me to rant a little.  I am trying to avoid stress but this makes my head ache. Two years ago, my immediate neighbor (our properties are divided by a fire wall and since our house is on a corner lot, it is the only house next to us) decided to have a second floor of their house. My problem started then because our roof near their house was destroyed when debris of cement and hollow blocks rained on it. They didn’t have protective covering so I have to make a proper complaint to our homeowners’ association to remind them of it. After two weeks I went to the engineering office of our town, showed them the pictures of the damage done by our neighbor to our roof. They sent someone to inspect a week after several follow-ups but at that time, no worker was around so they didn’t talk to the owner. In short, they left the project hanging, with just plain hollow blocks encircling the structure, no beams to speak  of (and that is dangerous for them and for me too), no enough steel bars to hold it and I presumed seeing the site, there was no building plan and building permit. The framework looked pathetic.

My brother is an architect so I had him check the site from our end and he said the building was not safe. I had a few arguments with the owner to no avail.  We had our roof repainted and repaired  three weeks ago. Our two painters even cleaned the area where bits of cement got stuck. Two days ago, while Mom and I were having naps, we heard a loud noise coming from our roof in three successive times. Since it was my son’s day of, I asked him to check it, true enough, some debris were there, and it was like our newly painted red roof was scattered with cement powder.  I talked to them and we argued, the owner (the wife, I mean) was like a tiger let loose on a cage together with her daughter telling me that I am always complaining so I told her I have a right to complain because this is my property. She hurled insults that were too personal and has nothing to do with what we were trying to resolve. I told the story to some of my friends and most of them told me to sue her for slander and oral defamation. I don’t want a stressful life so I’ll just probably make another visit to the engineering office of our town so they could visit it. Her husband promised that they would put a net but until now, they haven’t done yet and the debris kept raining on our roof.  My son took pictures again and we haven’t removed all those debris yet. Come to think of it, at least they should offer to clean it, right? The half sack of cement, sand and hollow blocks we collected two years ago from our rooftop is still lying in a corner of the garden, evidence of their not so neighborly attitude.

I get along well with our neighbors across the street where we live, they are like extended family but this particular one is a pain in the neck. How I wish we could choose our neighbors but they are here to stay. Inconsiderate people never learn.

And if I may add, this is how their structure looks like.


Look at our gutter, it is full of debris. and that dent on our roof….it was two years ago when they started their house renovation.

Look how poorly done it is, this is on our side and those hollow blocks....crazy....

Look how poorly done it is, this is on our side and those hollow blocks….crazy….

Crude....the coco lumber they used two years ago were left hanging on our property line and when the two painters removed them they crumbled into pieces.

Crude….the coco lumber they used two years ago were left hanging on our property line and when the two painters removed them they crumbled into pieces.

No corner beam done here.....

No corner beam done here…..that’s their roof.

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