Small Miracles

We went back to my urologist this morning for the final schedule of my stent removal.  Armed with the latest result of my kidney ultrasound, I was a bit apprehensive  on  what he will find this time. I must admit, I am not familiar with the medical jargon written on the result but he explained it to me complete with an illustration.   The stones on both kidneys which the radiologist  saw were actually small benign cysts  which  are outside the medulla.   They can’t be removed  no  matter how much amount of medications I take but they are also not in any danger  of affecting my kidney functions. And the smaller kidney stones can be flashed out  even without medication.  He suggested though that I undergo kidney ultrasound every six months  as precautionary measures.  I breathed a sigh of relief on hearing this good news.  Any small improvement to my health is a miracle for me.   I am finally scheduled next Wednesday for the stent removal.

On our way home, I was telling the hubby that when you are on the receiving end of a good deed (read:  the consultation was free), you feel so happy.  I am touched and humbled that after more than a year of being in and out of the hospital, having several doctors who are all  wonderful,  I found another kind and compassionate doctor.   It is easy to do your bit of random kindness to people around you and you feel a certain kind of satisfaction in knowing that in your own small way, you have touched lives.  And the smile that you receive from such act is like a ray of sunshine illuminating your soul.    The stent removal is a little expensive  though, and it has to be done in the operating room with local anesthesia.  Dr. Jubilado suggested that we file a Philhealth claim to minimize on the cost of the procedure.

We dropped by the store to buy a kilo of grapes, a kilo of avocado, and some Japanese corn for afternoon snack.   “See”, I told the hubby, “this is a gift from Dr. Jeff, may sukli pa”. He was laughing so hard and I just smiled and said, “God wants me to have these”. Then he answered,  “the ever practical Arlene”.

Thank God for answered prayers.  Thank  God for small miracles.

I am posting a video of the Irish prayer which I always enjoy watching every time I feel down.  May the message comfort you as well!

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Tying Loose Ends

It’s another  beautiful Sunday, a little cloudy outside with rain showers in between.  Sundays are always spent with the family.  It’s one of those days that the hubby, my two kids and I always look forward to.  Breakfast seems quite long during Sunday mornings  and sharing thoughts and news over a cup of coffee and hot pan de sal seems to be the accepted ritual.  I love  Sundays and I try to catch up on the morning mass on TV before we attend the 9am mass at the church near our village.   I find great joy just hanging around bookstores, having a siomai fix or simply lazing in the garden playing with our two dogs and our new puppy. I was greatly touched by Fr. Orbos’ homily – travel light, let go of the excess baggage,  do not fear, trust in God.  How many of us can let go of our emotional insecurities, our financial worries, our fears of the unknown? How many of us are concerned about having less in life and yet we are still happy because we have enough faith in God?  Most of us are fixated on material things  that we sometimes forget that  life is not all measured by what you have.   Life could be whimsical at times, or perhaps full of angst  but the best things come when we learn to trust  and let go. The past year, my journey has been one long road of struggle  and pain.  Among friends and family, I’ve learned to accept things and  go with the flow. “Where life takes me Lord, I will follow”. Two weeks ago, hubby and I enjoyed sharing with one of my friends.  We’ve been friends for more than three decades and I am happy that after all these years, we have managed to maintain the friendship.  Sr. Thea, FMM is a Franciscan nun and she is also a cancer survivor like me.   One thing that I remembered well that she shared was this,  being sick give us the privilege of making our selves closer to the Lord.   Yes, I do believe that  too. Fr. Orbos said in his homily  that  illness is also a blessing because we are given the chance to  prepare ourselves to meet our Maker.  How true!    Reality hurts sometime , but the more life throws at you, the more you become stronger.  Next week, I am again scheduled to go back to my urologist for removal of the DJ stent which they inserted when I was hospitalized last May.  My latest kidney ultrasound shows that the stones are still there. “Lord, let my stay at the operating room be quick and painless, hold my hand while I am in there “. That’s all I asked for today at least.  And for my dear friends out there, will you include me in your prayers?   Thank you!

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It’s My First Anniversary (Celebrating Life)

July 14, 2010

Thanks be to God!

Thank you for the gift of life,

Thank you for the gift of presence,

Thank you for the gift of family,

Thank you for the gift of friendship,

Thank you for the gift of healing,

May I see You in every person that I will meet,

May I see You in every event of my life.

And may I show You Lord to others.

Amen!

Yesterday, I received this beautiful message and prayer from  Lovell, a close friend, who has been and is continuously  egging me on to appreciate life no matter how difficult it is sometimes,   and I was teary-eyed reading it.  It summarizes all the pains and the joys of  my journey, a year of  blessings and challenges!  Yes,  it is my first anniversary – at this same time last year, I was at the lowest ebb of my life, undergoing  a surgical resection of my colon because of a malignant cyst which turned out to be a Stage 3 colon cancer.   I was in denial for a while  but finally accepted that God must have a greater purpose in my life to give me such a heavy burden.  Imagine distancing yourself from a situation that you can’t control, and when you are caught with your defenses down, you look back and think of those times when life is simple and happiness means being healthy, having lots of loving friends at your side and a loving family to turn to and take care of you.

The last year has been an eye-opener for me.  I discovered that I am strong despite everything, I discovered that the presence of family and loving friends help a lot in one’s healing.  And putting your complete trust and faith in a loving God is the greatest thing you can do to help yourself get well.  Chemotherapy is no joke, it saps your body of strength  and the costly procedures add to your financial worries.  I know, I know, they would always say, concentrate on getting well,  sometimes though you can’t help but think, you are luckier than most people afflicted of the same illness because  at least you have an option to see a specialist and  do what is necessary for your healing.

Thank you! Thank God for giving me the strength to carry on, to endure the pain  and  not to whine, to count the blessings  of having my family around, thank  God for   friends who never fail to give encouragement,  thank you  for the people whom I’ve touched in one way or another by sharing my plight with them.

Thank you! Thank  God for my doctors, Dr. Samuel Ang, my surgical oncologist, the best doctor I’ve met, Dr. Priscilla Caguioa, my medical oncologist for being there during my chemotherapy sessions, Dr. Alvin dela Cruz, my cardiologist,  a very supportive and caring doctor,  Dr. Ditas Decena, my OB gynecologist who is also a friend, Dr. Jeff Jubilado, my urologist for being so encouraging, the nurses at Benavidez Cancer Institute- UST.

Thank you! Thank God for the gift of family – for having a loving and understanding hubby, for having  thoughtful kids and brothers.  I salute you all!

And for all those people who left some comments in my blogs, that they somehow found strength and inspiration by reading my journey towards healing, thank you.

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