Posted in colon cancer, tagged adenocarcinoma, health, prayers on April 19, 2022| 24 Comments »
You’ll catch me whining again. I am just sad about the result of my brother Alden’s biopsy. He messaged me last night and it is Adenocarcinoma, colorectal cancer.
I asked Nissa and Obet if we could go home one weekend and visit him.
Please, please, could you include him again in your prayers. Thank you so much.
Posted in colon cancer, Dr. Samuel Ang, Dr.Priscilla Caguioa, family life, health, life, tagged a bit of myself, Closer to God, family life, health, health is wealth, journeys, World Cancer Day 2018 on February 4, 2018| 17 Comments »
Cancer sucks, we all know that.
Today February 4, we celebrate World Cancer Day as a means of raising awareness of the millions of people worldwide. Some of you may probably ask why we celebrate such an unfortunate event in one’s life. There are so many people who remain untreated worldwide maybe some for financial reasons and some because they are not aware of it.
This will be the first time in a number of years that I’ll be blogging about my bouts with colon cancer. almost nine years ago, I underwent sigmoid surgery followed by six cycles of chemotherapy. Back then I was so apprehensive if chemo would help me since I knew from some research that it is a drastic measure to kill cancer cells. I was in a quandary whether to go with it or not. My doctor, Dr. Samuel Ang (they say he is the best surgical oncologist in the country) explained how it would be done and what to expect about the treatment. With closed eyes and with lots of prayers, my family and I nodded our YES. The Lord is a forgiving and merciful God, I knew He would be there by my side. I’ve undergone six cycles of chemotherapy along with oral chemo tablets which I had to take very two weeks before the next chemo. It was not a walk in the park. For every cycle of chemo, my body was so weak that I could not even lift my arms most of the time. But God is good.
Some of my religious friends who underwent the same thing told me that we are closer to Him when we are in suffering. He let us experience pain to let us know that there will always be the possibility of getting well and lead a normal life again. Trust in God will always be a constant in one’s life.
One’s immune system suffers from all the treatments The days of uncertainties, the days of being so careful about one’s health.
I met so many people here, patients who were under the same predicament and relatives who were concerned about them. It is precisely why this blog exists.
Please say a little prayer for us, patients and survivors alike. THANKS!
Posted in blessings, chemotherapy, colon cancer, journeys, life, silence speaks, tagged a bit of myself, Faith, health, journeys, life, reflections, silence speaks, thoughts on December 6, 2016| 28 Comments »
I remember my last session of chemotherapy done on a December morning at the UST Hospital Benavidez Cancer Institute. It was a Tuesday, the Feast of the Immaculate Conception. My medical oncologist called it my graduation. Graduation from six cycles of chemotherapy and oral chemo drugs, graduation from the pain brought by the IV injected every three weeks, graduation from various laboratory tests before each cycle of chemo. But it did not end there. I have to go back to my surgical oncologist for regular check-up until five years ago when I totally lifted everything up to God that I am truly cured and well. It was a nice feeling to be able to pick up and do regular routines without having to worry about one’s health, without having to worry about doctor and hospital visits. I hate hospitals. I can’t stand waiting too long outside a doctor’s office with other patients who have their own stories to tell. Seeing other patients is depressing enough.
When you are sick, sometimes depression sets in but your belief and faith that you will be cured of your illness helps to combat those feelings. When you believe that you will get well, you will. I started this blog sharing a bit of what I went through more than seven years ago. I wonder sometimes about those friends I met here who underwent the same journey as I did. Where are they now? I haven’t heard from them for quite a while. There was a time when some of my posts would be full of sharing about their plights as cancer patients and survivors or some members of the family sharing about it. I miss those because I would want to know how they are now.
Some people say things happen for a reason. I believe though that God allows us to feel the pain of being sick so we’ll get closer to Him. It’s when you are at your lowest that God lifts you up. I remember those lines from Footprints in the Sand:
One night I had a dream…
I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord, and Across the sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; One belonged to me, and the other to the Lord. When the last scene of my life flashed before us, I looked back at the footprints in the sand. I noticed that many times along the path of my life, There was only one set of footprints.
I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in my life This really bothered me, and I questioned the Lord about it. “Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, You would walk with me all the way; But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, There is only one set of footprints. I don’t understand why in times when I needed you the most, you should leave me.
The Lord replied, “My precious, precious child. I love you, and I would never, never leave you during your times of trial and suffering. When you saw only one set of footprints, It was then that I carried you.
These word often remind me to be always grateful for even the smallest blessing that happens in my life.
Posted in chemotherapy, colon cancer, journeys, photography, tagged a bit of myself, chemotherapy, health, journeys, life, photography on August 20, 2015| 8 Comments »
I wonder if I ever shared this picture here, I can’t remember. I only did a few write-ups about my chemo days, the early years of blogging have been about getting well, getting on with life and trying to live it the best way a cancer survivor can. Would you believe that I met online friends here who shared and underwent similar journeys with me?
Facebook reminds you of a previous post you did years ago on the same day and month that you posted it and I got this.
I remember this….spending my 53rd birthday at the UST Benavidez Cancer Institute while having my 4th chemotherapy. With one of my oncologists, Doc Julie!
Really, it made me smile and memories are reborn. A former classmate in high school prepared snacks for the doctors and nurses at the Ambulatory Care Unit of the UST Benavidez Cancer Institute. She brought a large tray of Pancit Malabon, drinks and cookies. Despite the two IV drips attached to my arm, I enjoyed those moments I spent with the staff. The first time I saw that Oxaliplatin IV drip wrapped in a black cloth bag, I just can’t help but think….that’s poison but still I have to convince myself that it would make me get well.I asked the oncology nurse why it has to be wrapped in black and she said that it should not be exposed to the light.
It was one of the best birthdays ever, because back then, listening to them singing happy birthday made me think that life even at its worse makes you feel happy too.
Posted in blessings, blogging, Closer to God, colon cancer, Faith, health, journeys, life, ramblings, tagged a bit of myself, blogging, books, Closer to God, health, life, reflections, silence speaks, thoughts on February 25, 2013| 2 Comments »
I must really be getting old. No, let me amend that, I am definitely growing older. And I always think that growing older is always getting wiser with age. Got this throbbing headache that won’t go away or maybe it is just a sign of normal wear and tear. I was exchanging texts with a friend yesterday (we are both cancer survivors) and I told her, I easily get tired nowadays and I need to catch up on my siesta every day. Make that an hour or more instead of the usual thirty minutes shuteye that I used to have. She told me she underwent Zometa infusion just last week. Her doctor advised her to have it when she had a recent bone scan. And I thought, I am not going back to the hospital just to learn that you need more series of tests despite the fact that you are now living a normal life being a survivor. The last time I found out that everything was back to normal, including my CEA marker, I left everything to God. He will take care of me because He gave me a second chance. Living in faith and believing in God’s will.
I spent part of the morning reading articles by Barbara Gonzales. For the past years, I’ve followed her writings under her byline called Second Wind every Sunday. I like how she touches on her hobbies, writing and how she get on with life despite living alone. She said that one of her favorite books is Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy written by Sarah Ban Breathnach. I can’t help but smile at the thought that it is one of my favorite books too. When I am feeling so low, this book always gives me a lift. She always put her contact number at the end of her posts so I tried getting in touch and wrote:
Read your article with interest Ms. Barbara. Re: Simple Abundance. I have that book too for several years now. It’s like a daily bible for women like us. I even blog about it from time to time. I am a cancer survivor. It’s the reason why I keep a blog because I have this dream of inspiring people through my journey, that life is even more meaningful when God gives you a second chance. Thank you for your nice articles, I am a fan.
She texted back and said thank you. One other writer that I admire is Lucy Torres. I don’t care much about her political career but I love how she shares her thoughts and family life in Love Lucy at Philippine Star. Somehow, every time I read her posts, I always get the feeling that she is a close friend, the way she talks about anything under the sun. Reading her posts also makes me feel that she is writing about my own experiences in life, they’re closer to home, so to speak.
Having no internet connection for the past several days gave me the chance to watch a little TV and catch up on my reading. I watched Maid in Manhattan a few days ago (for the nth time). I am in the middle of reading Exile by Richard North Patterson, a thick book on Israel’s history as background. Now I understand why the Jews and Palestinians don’t see eye to eye.
How was your day?
Posted in chemotherapy, Closer to God, colon cancer, Faith, life, tagged a bit of myself, Closer to God, colon cancer, Faith, health, life, postaday2011, silence speaks on September 21, 2011| 1 Comment »
One gets bored sometime with all the negative news all around. So now you know, the two teenagers I blogged about yesterday are both brain-dead. What a senseless way to bring two lives at an end just because of jealousy or would you call that temporary insanity?
It’s part of life to undergo mood swings, ups and downs brought about by sadness and sometimes when it becomes a little uncontrollable, we call it depression. Struggles, disappointments and setbacks are part of the daily grind of living. When we allow ourselves to believe that we are living in a black hole, and we feel that we are alone in this world, that’s where depression sets in and when you are weak, it would eat you alive.
I remember a few readings I made when I was undergoing chemotherapy treatment two years ago. The study said that the number one cause of cancer is low immune system, added to that is stress. When you have a low immune system, you are prone to illness and when you are ill, you easily get depressed too. Being stressed in any kind of work also helps in contributing to those unwanted cancer cells attacking the body. And my doctor says that it usually takes ten years before you can feel the malignant cells slowly prevailing over the good ones. You feel the symptoms when those cancel cells are deeply ingrained in your system. Even if you are so careful with your health and cautious with the food you eat, you can never tell when the time will come that it would be you undergoing the knife and being put to the test and drastic measures of chemotherapy and radiation treatments. You could only hope for the best and pray that you’ll be given a second chance at life.
A while ago, a close friend posted this message on his wall at Facebook: Stupid cancer….Some of us want a new house….A new car….A new mobile phone….To lose weight….But someone battling cancer wants just one thing, to win the battle. Please repost this in honor of someone who lost their battle, or for someone fighting it now. This matters so much to me, I am not just posting it as a status, it’s from the heart.
And here’s my reply to his post: Thanks for this post Paul. I am touched. I always pray for good health for everyone who has in one way or another, experienced battling with it. GO, FIGHT, WIN.
Latest news says that the 13-year old is now dead. His parents decided to have his respirator removed but they will be donating his kidneys and eyes to the Organ Bank.
Posted in blessings, Closer to God, colon cancer, Faith, health, tagged Closer to God, colon cancer, Faith, health, life, postaday2011, silence speaks on September 2, 2011| Leave a Comment »
“Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity.” – Henry Van Dyke
It’s so flattering and touching when some of our group members send private messages and share their thoughts and problems. The level of sharing has evolved into something that I didn’t really expect. They are so open about their concerns especially in matters of the heart. Everyone calls me “Mommy” and I have adopted them as my kids. It’s nice to be needed, it’s nice to feel that you touch people in your own little way.
Somehow, we tend to take things for granted. We measure success by the number of friends we have, by the amount of money saved in the bank, by the size of our house and the number of cars in our garage. We measure time by the passing of days and months, the things we have accomplished in life. But do we even stop to think that every minute that passes should be treasured? And when you have a healthy life, you are ten times successful. Time does not stand still, no matter what we do, no matter where we are. Most people regard time as their enemy because they are hindered by it. We keep running out of time and sometimes, twenty-four hours would not be enough for a day.
When you have experienced something as life-changing as cancer, all those precious minutes really count. You think of the days as too long for you to get well. You think of the minutes as too unnerving while your body is attached to those tubes that shout, chemotherapy. It’s when you realize that life is precious and could be taken anytime from you that you would learn to value everything that comes into it. Being a cancer survivor taught me so many, many things. Valuing one’s health is one, treasuring each moment that passes is another. And I feel so blessed that God gave me a second chance at life to appreciate everything now. Oh yes, there are moments when I get too emotional crying over a good book, a lovely song or even a simple greeting from a friend. I get too emotional reading some comments in my blogs. A friend once asked me why I am so open about my illness. I have another friend who kept on denying when she was stricken with cancer and it was a long and lonely road for her without someone to talk to except her family and a handful of friends. Why would you deny something that would allow other people to learn from you? Why would you keep something to yourself when you can share your journey with fellow travelers on the same road like you?
Until now, although I haven’t attempted joining any support group for colon cancer, I am blessed with a supportive family and caring friends who are always there when I need them. And my illness lead me closer to Him, giving me a chance to do an online apostolate to help other people.
A smile would come a long way, but a simple hello would lighten the day.
Posted in blessings, Closer to God, colon cancer, Faith, friends, life, silence speaks, Spirituality, tagged a bit of myself, Closer to God, Faith, friendship, life, postaday2011, silence speaks, thoughts and ramblings, Two years of surviving cancer on July 12, 2011| 1 Comment »
Today, two years ago, I embarked on a long journey not knowing where the road will end but hoping just the same that I won’t get lost along the way. I remember it was a Sunday, hubby and I were off to the Chinese General Hospital with three bags of belongings and a big pillow for comfort. I was admitted at around 3pm and scheduled for sigmoid surgery two days after. Knowing fully well that I was sick and being aware that surgery is the only way the doctors would know how far the cancer cells have invaded my body was just a drop in the bucket compared to the agony I had to go through for more than five months after my surgery.
An online friend Mary An together with her family took time to go to the hospital on the day I was admitted to deliver a lovely flower arrangement prior to the time of our arrival. It was a typical gesture from Mary An, she knew that I love flowers and love doing macro shots of them. Thea, my nun friend sent me text messages during the night informing me that they formed a prayer brigade in the convent. Lovell, a seminarian friend whom I consider a son and his group offered masses for my healing. “How lovely”, I said to the hubby, “to have lots of friends praying for you.” They were there not just to show support but to boost my morale. It was the second major surgery I went through, unlike the first one, this could spell a big difference in my life, in our lives as a family. I prayed for strength and courage to go on but God gave me more, He showed me that I could bear the pain because He was there.
Last night, I had a long chat with Lovell over the phone and he asked how I am. I told him I had bouts of urinary tract infection lately. I was struck by what he said that God must love me so much to entrust me with all these pain and sufferings because He knows I can carry them and I have enough faith to go through life without being bitter about it. My answer was simply this, ” I lift everything to God and I am offering it all to Him.“
There are times when tears flow when I think of the days I went through the past two years. I am lucky and I am blessed that God gave me a second chance at life. Everything is grace.
Posted in chemotherapy, Closer to God, colon cancer, Faith, health, life, tagged a bit of myself, Closer to God, friends, health, life, postaday2011, silence speaks, something to think about, thoughts on April 12, 2011| 1 Comment »
I feel a little uninspired today so I am utilizing one of the topics posted by WordPress. The question is, “when was the last time you were scared”?
At sometime in our lives, we are caught unprepared for what life deals us. No matter how we project strength in the face of adversities, there are times when we are weak and get scared of things looming in our lives. I can’t remember a vivid incident that got me tongue-tied and speechless except the time when I got the result of my colonoscopy two years ago. The moment of truth is sometimes hard to handle. I can be strong for my family and my friends but I could be weak when it comes to my personal predicament. How would you feel if the result of a lab test is glaring at you in bold letters that you need to be operated on because you have stage three colon cancer? Denial (at least in your mind) is the first thing you’ll feel but you keep a brave face and smile a tremulous smile. Next question would be, will I get well? And the next is, can we afford such an expensive treatment? Lots of thoughts play in your mind foremost of which is a prayer that God will give you enough strength, courage and the will to go on.
I’ve blogged about my journey as a cancer patient and a survivor so many times here, sharing how I coped with the treatment and all. In fact, it’s the reason this blog still exist because now and then I receive encouragement and thank you’s from some readers who are undergoing the same journey as I do. We are traveling the same path of getting well with a hope to live normal lives again. Never lose hope amidst struggles and pain because that’s the time that you’ll know yourself as a very strong person, capable of facing everything. Never lose the faith and think that it is just a chapter in your life. The sun shines still but the clouds obscure it sometimes. These lines from Dayspring Devotions gave me so much to smile about today!
ENCOURAGEMENT FOR CANCER BATTLE
You are a fighter, a survivor
A woman of faith and strength
You are a tough opponent for any challenge
Even the big “C” is no match for you
Because you belong to an even Bigger C,
CHRIST!
Gosh, why do I find it so hard to acces this site. Still a trial and error thing. It always points me to my main blog.
I am back. I hope I could update this site again without the difficulty of logging in.
It’s been a while. I am reblogging this here from my main blog Dreams and Escapes. I hope you’ll find time to visit it to. My gosh, I got so excited when I saw it. There are several designs actually and all with Biblical passages. One of the vendors in our subdivision is selling them. […]
I can’t believe I haven’t touched and visited this blog like forever (an exaggeration of course) but I was so focused on updating my main blog so I forgot about this. Early this morning while I was watering the plants, I looked up at our jackfruit trees and saw this. I was hoping I could […]
I am reblogging this here for all its worth. Thank you for reading 🙂 You might wonder how are family has been since my brother was diagnosed with rectal cancer which has metastasised in his liver. Allow me first to thank you all for your prayers and words of comfort. It is helping us a […]
Gosh, I can’t believe it’s been almost a year now since I posted something here. I am always updated with my main blog though, a link of which is attached here. Sharing this photo I took yesterday, we locally call it Lato salad, a appetizer. I love seaweeds and I buy them once in a […]
Nonna’s joy. I think this is the second time I posted a picture of my grandson here. He is turning six this coming November. Time flies. Happy Grandparents’ Day to all proud grandparents like I am.
Gosh. I haven’t updated this site for so long concentrating instead on my main blog Dreams and Escapes. I hope I would be able to post more in the coming days.
This is just my 89th post after three years of blogging. But I have always been updated with my main blog. You can find the link here on the right corner of the blog. I’ve recently took shots of our garden blooms. Summer is here and more blooms could be seen. […]
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