Friday Blues

Sometimes you feel that sudden bout of emptiness and you think of negative things that happened to you before. Once in a while you feel alone and afraid.

Last night, I tried losing myself to a lovely thriller by Lee Child called 61 hours. There are times that sleep would not show its face no matter what I do. Reading though helps a lot. For the first time in I think eight years, I am not participating in Goodyears’ Reading Challenge but still I promised myself to read twenty books of fiction. I read a page or two of the poems I am trying on my own to interpret, slow reading to the max. I haven ‘t made a dent yet since I’m only on the 45th page after a month and a half. Anyway, I guess keeping a journal and not just a blog is keeping me sane. My writing has changed a lot. Getting old? Probably it’s because of the unsteady grip of the pen on my journal. A thick one which I started a few years ago has become a smorgasbord of thoughts, recipes, phone numbers that I want to commit on paper, real names of my WordPress friends here, list of gifts I’ve given to the family members over the years and a list of daily expenses. I know to the last centavo how much is in my bank accounts. I know when to use my credit card and program a day to pay everything in one go. Being a banker before, I am always aware of the cut-offs. I am using a new journal just for those thoughts after reading a poem. Would love to jump to a page where Mary Oliver’s poem was featured but I think I am patient enough to wait.

The day has been so windy outside since this morning but the sun was shining brightly. I went to the garden to water the plants then I noticed the two pots of my Amazon lily with buds, something to look forward to when the scented white flowers bloom.

And for the first time, Josef is trying to grow tomatoes from seeds. He has already transferred them to several pots when they reached six inches. They are dwarf tomatoes. I have three tomato plants growing at the back garden and one is already bearing fruits. I can see some jutes growing too. In our country, it is called saluyot and it is an antioxidant.

There is one good thing about Friday night, I could spend late hours reading and wake up an hour or two later than my usual time in the morning.

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