You are often asked time and again by friends, family members and sometimes acquaintances, “How are you”? I guess that is the standard greeting and the standard answer is, “I’m okay”. Physically, we might look good to other people but what if you answer, “I’m not good” or “I’m sick”. What would you think would be the reaction of your friend when you say that? Some would just probably smile awkwardly and just go on while others who have genuine concern for you will ask further what is wrong.
I am guilty of this, saying okay when I am not. You are afraid sometimes that other people would think ill of you if you share your woes to the world in general. Some would just shake their heads and allow you to rant.
Just received so many messages from friends and relatives on Facebook when I posted that flood waters reached our garage. So grateful for all the concerns and regards to us. Yes, of course you are happy when you are remembered this way.
A friend (a former boss actually) posted this response on an opinion page at one of our national dailies which asked, “Is resilience bad for us as a nation”?
“Too much of a good thing can be a bad thing. There is no doubt that resilience is a useful trait, especially in the face of traumatic events such as this flooding. But, if we don’t seek solutions to the problems and hold people accountable, then, what we are seeing is the dark side of resiliency”.
I agree. Filipinos are known for being resilient, we have that innate toughness when we encounter difficulties. As long as we can endure a certain situation, we don’t complain. As they say in Tagalog, “inaapakan ka na, pinapabayaan mo lang”. “Inaapakan ka na at binabastos ka na, naka ngiti ka pa rin”.
A lot of people are asking on their wall, “Where is the president”? I asked the same question yesterday and my friends responded enthusiastically. I understand he was in Davao when the flood hit Metro Manila and nearby provinces (as of now, some are still under water). Supposedly, he and his cohorts would do an aerial view of the damages but it was postponed. He didn’t show his face and true to their FAKE advocacy, he sent his assistant and a look-alike (an impostor) if you please to visit the evacuation site in Marikina City. This is the only time I observed that the president is a “no-show” in such calamities. Before, the government is always at the scene when calamities strike us, helping, coordinating works for the welfare of the people. Oh my gosh, they elected an impostor, he is just being true to himself. He is against drugs right? But how come an almost P7 billion worth of Shabu entered the Philippines last week through customs and until now, they are silent as a mouse? No condemnation on what happened, no words that he will punish those responsible for the allowed shipment. An irate friend shouted out that maybe he is busy distributing that huge amount of drugs to help those affected by the flood.
Did I say the Philippines is okay? IT IS NOT.
When someone asks me “How are you?”
I usually smile and say, “I am.”
I gave this reply to a philosophy professor once, and he answered, “Good. Just be, just be!” 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love that Mary. “I am”, strong words and it says a lot.
LikeLike
Our countries are both on the same boat , Tita.
LikeLiked by 1 person
We are much, much worse Ren.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I guess you’re right. At least we don’t do any extra-judicial killings here , YET.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Just last week, another drug shipment, nakalusot sa mata nila. What would you make of that?
LikeLiked by 1 person
shipment from China….. I’m speculating, the gov’t will have a cut from that…. I heard the gov’t is not doing well.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Well, I guess it is not just a cut of the big thing. It’s more of they are the one taking charge of it. Look, they are so silent about it. Where is the fight against drugs? NADA.
LikeLike
Thank you ❤️ Arlene for your very informative post. I’m afraid I always say I’m OK, when really I’m not. I suppose I had to be so resilient for so long, that it’s now ingrained into my system. However I’m trying to rectify this, and tend to myself and put myself up as a priority first. 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
Sometimes it is just easy to answer one is okay when you are not inclined to elaborate, right Ivor?
LikeLike
Yes I agree Arlene , trying to elaborate can be a task. 😊
LikeLiked by 1 person
🙂
LikeLike
When I was young, people formally said “How do you do?” when they met someone. The reply was always supposed to be “How do you do?”, in return. Nobody says that anymore outside of certain gatherings and functions, but I always answer “Fine, thanks”. People don’t really want to listen to what’s wrong with your health, or life, unless they are very close friends.
Best wishes, Pete.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think it is just a force of habit Pete. And you’re right, they probably don’t want to listen to your litany woes or what is happening in your life. Yes, unless they are close to us.
LikeLiked by 1 person
In my work as a chaplain, I always had to invite my patients to go much deeper than those automatic responses, and, of course, those conversations were often so much more alive with the sacred. It taught me a lot about listening and paying attention to those around me.
I sure hope your needs will not go unmet in this troubled time, Arlene! People need family and friends surrounding them with help and comfort, but there is also a need for the government to respond with strength and the help our taxes and citizenry deserve. I think when this is lacking, there’s a profound anxiety and lack of hope that can set in, and then comes anger and a desire for change.
In a few hours, we will go to vote, and, I hope, begin the change we need in our state, and our country.. I so hope this will happen for you, too! Gentle Peace..
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh I love this, thank you so much Kitty for such lovely input. Good luck on the voting. There will be four more years before we could vote for a deserving president. Most of us who understand what is going on now are quite frustrated with the present govt. Corruption is rampant among his appointees. Sad isn’t it?
LikeLiked by 1 person
As I have got older I have been less and less inclined to respond with a bland “fine”
LikeLiked by 1 person
That is really an automatic response, right Derrick? Maybe they don’t expect us too to answer truthfully about how we are.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Quite right, Arlene. Mostly they don’t want a different answer 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
True 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
That’s true Arlene, most of the time I say I’m ok even though I don’t feel so, may because we hope everything will be fine.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, we do that all the time Nahla 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person