I can’t believe that it’s only been five years since you left us. It seems so long ago, that day when you finally said goodbye. Memories are sometimes tricky, they’re like a closed book that you only have to open to refresh the pages and the story in your mind. Know one thing Dad, I cry because you didn’t have the opportunity to see your cute and cuddly great-grandson. If you were alive today, you would have smiled at the way we were all going gaga over our little Nate. You would have tried holding his tiny hands and marveled at the way he kick his feet when he goes hungry. If you were alive today, you would have regaled us with your stories when we were growing up and how you dreamed of us all going to your favorite university where you worked for thirty-two years. I always loved to listen to them anyway even though sometimes you did forget that you told them more than a dozen times already because every story became more meaningful with the re-telling.
I got lost on my way home the last time I said goodbye to you. I was full of thoughts with what you said earlier that day that you saw some of our relatives calling you home, Tatay especially. I dreaded the sound of the telephone and prayed hard that it would not ring, and when it did, I knew you were gone.
I used to listen to Josh Groban’s You Raise Me Up because of its meaningful lyrics but when I learned that they played the song during your funeral, it acquired a different meaning for me because I always remember you and it makes me sad so I stopped listening. But I also recall your fondness for classical music and your Johnny Mathis’ Merry Christmas album. Do you remember, it has become a favorite too and now that it is Christmas once again, I listen to some of the songs on YouTube and picture you in my mind, listening to the old LP album on our small player. And celebrating Christmas would not be complete without the music of Johnny Mathis 🙂 I am listening to it now and I smile and say in my heart, Merry Christmas Dad!
I miss you….still!