Archive for May 11th, 2009

Could I Forget?

Your memory, like a monstrous shadow

It hovers around me,

touching my heart with a cold blade of sorrow

Must I remain forever locked in this doom?

Must I always see you face?

Why must it always be like this?

(written at a time when I felt so much

alone 25 jan. 75 10am)

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I wish I could just sit down and relax

or else lose myself in a deep and long, long sleep,

But there is this sort of restlessness in me

something which I could not fathom, gnawing on me

like a bird trapped in a cage, wanting to be free.

(you may even laugh at my attempt for simile) but…

no matter, you’ve got to hear what I have to say.

I wish I could honestly admit that at last I found myself

That I am, perhaps that would be just like coming home

after a long and tiresome day.

Deep within, I do feel as if I’ve never really grown up

(here friend, it’s the same old line again and again).

Life is beautiful!

You said that many, many times before,

Life is a challenge…problems are meant to be overcome,

(these words are familiar)

I feel I could never match your wisdom

Great words from a great friend, for indeed you are great.

But, would you still find life beautiful

When suddenly you discover your dreams

come tumbling down unheeded?

When your life turns upside down?

When everything seems out of proportion, meaningless?

Well, would you?

I’m weak, I tell you (Oh no, not that again)

Wouldn’t you feel happier if you could just lock

your worries in a dark room and wish they could

stay there forever?

When like a child you could honestly admit to yourself

I am happy….

When you could shout to the world

I am free!

There are times when thinking of you is pain in  itself

(that’s baloney, you might say)

There are times when I seem to hear you calling from beyond

There are times when I can almost see your face and see you smile


Are these just figments of my imagination?

How you’ve grown!

I can barely see the child in you.

Now everything is different

Now, it’s you who strengthen things out

It is you whom I seek comfort.

It is you who’s with me during dark nights…

Gee friend –

You make me feel so much loved, cherished and thought of

Where could I ever find another one like you?

Cheerio and goodbye (though it hurts)….

15 dec.76 Asian Section

12:30pm Wednesday

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