Reflections of a Grandma

How can you even know how precious your baby is until you feel the soft touch of his fingers on your face, the complete trust he has in you as you hold his hands and take a step or two, the smile on his face as he recognizes your voice, the warm embrace, the wet kisses on your face, the moments you pick him up and he snuggle close to you, safe and warm in your arms. It’s the unspeakable happiness he shows when you are around and the inexpressible love that  make him so precious, so loved, so treasured.

(Note: this is our baby Nate’s first published photo in a national Catholic journal). Proud to be a grandma.

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Going Back To The Old Place I Love

You are etched in my memory, a place where I could rebuild my dreams and still believe that they do come true.

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Savoring The Quiet

The raindrops linger

And I stand here….

Still

Savoring the quiet

Of a misty morning.

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The Art of Flying

“Don’t believe what your eyes are telling you. All they show is limitation. Look with your understanding. Find out what you already know and you will see the way to fly.” – Richard Bach

A friend said that this is one of my best shots.  And I thought the composition was not good, I was only trying to capture the clouds rapidly changing course  while passing through my lens. Then came this bird gliding rapidly, making itself framed inside the tie wires which we used as trellis  at the back of the house. This is a raw shot and it reminds me of  how it is to be free, unhampered by any extra baggage, reaching one’s destination by sheer determination and grace. It is the art of flying.

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Kamay Ni Jesus (Lucban, Quezon)

I haven’t gone on road trips for  more than a year now. The last time I did, we visited  the 71-foot statue of Mama Mary in Tanay which I shared here in a blog. I love visiting religious sites where one could savor the peace and quiet and get in touch with  one’s inner self and strengthen one’s faith.  I dreamed of visiting  Kamay ni Jesus in Lucban, Quezon but my ever adventurous son beat me to it. They spent the weekend in Lucban and visited the Shrine. Kamay ni Jesus is a  50-foot statue of resurrected Christ  on top of a hill. And just like Regina RICA in Tanay, you have to climb more than three hundred steps to get to the top. I borrowed some pictures from his cellphone. Hopefully, one of these days, I will be able to visit the place too.

One thing more that makes me long to see Lucban, Quezon is I want to get in touch with relatives there.  My paternal grandfather hailed from that place but our generation never got to know our close relatives there except for  his cousin and his family whom we used to visit in Quezon City when I was in high school.  The surname Abuel is pretty common in Lucban. How I wish that one day I could discover our family tree and get to visit the place. All I remember is the name of my paternal great-grandfather  that my late Dad told me before he died.

May 15, 2013 is another big celebration in Lucban. San Isidro de Pahiyas Festival is another event that I want to witness in Lucban. I wonder what kiping tastes like. It is inconvenient for me to travel solo so I’ll save the best for last – going on a trip to Batanes and attending the Pahiyas Festival.

By the way, son brought home Lucban longganisa, a roll of yummy Yema cake and a big pack  of meringue. The latter I think is one of their famous products.

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Sea Glass

I hold it in the palm of my hand

And I wonder how many beaches it has traveled

Or how many times it  was  washed up

by the angry burst of noontide.

I wonder, has it ever reached your shore?

Time has perfected its shape

But it never stays in one place.

It goes with the tide and roll with the waves

And place itself where I could see it

glistening in the sand.

Now you ask what love is -

I don’t know.

Maybe, just like this sea glass

It would show itself when you’re not looking

Maybe, just like this sea glass

It would come glistening on your footpath.

But you will never recognize it

Because your heart has turned to stone.

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Don’t Ask me Again, I’m Still Not Convinced

A friend who is an avid Facebook user asked me once why I am not using the networked blogging platform of  FB. Although I am an avid Facebook user too, because my religious friends and I have a page to update, I am still not convinced  that it is wise to share all your thoughts in such a chaotic world like Facebook. There is that hesitant feeling that my blog won’t be safe if I announce  it to the whole world that I blog at  WordPress.  I know, I know, you might say that the latter is public too and anybody would be able to find you, right? I just feel protected using this blogging platform than anywhere else.  If  Facebook is a game, they are forever changing the rules. It’s either you delete your account or stay on the sidelines.  I still link some posts though but they are limited to my friends. I am not after the number of viewers who visit my blog, I’d rather have a meaningful exchanges of comments with fellow bloggers who truly appreciate what I write.  Same holds true with each post that I like and each blogger that I follow. I may not always leave comments but I appreciate what they share.  Less than a month from now, I’ll be celebrating my 4th year into blogging. I celebrate the date that I posted my first blog and not the time when I bravely opened an account at  WordPress, not knowing how to go about it and it took me more than a year to have the courage to update my blog here. It is not easy to share your thoughts to everyone, it is not easy to open yourself to people you don’t know from Adam but the nicest feeling comes when someone says, he/she is inspired by what you share.

I wouldn’t know how long it would take me to blog and find words to express my thoughts, I wouldn’t know how long it would take me to snap those pics that I share here but then, the feeling of fulfillment that I get is reward enough. Looking back, I just could not believe that I have posted about 1,204 entries at Dreams and Escapes and  around 240 entries at  my three other blogs that I have here. Dreams and Escapes has quietly reached 194,931 views as of this writing.  My heartfelt “thank you” from all of you.

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Heart’s Whispers

March is rapidly fading into oblivion but I still look forward to tomorrow. Easter brings that lovely feeling of being reborn – a new hope, a new beginning. Easter is one of the most important feasts  in the Catholic calendar.

It’s been a quiet week, highlighted by the celebration of the Last Supper mass and watching Siete Palabras on TV. I’ve cried my eyes out the past week.  Yes, tears are just a blink away but they’re really not tears of sadness because I am lonely, they’re more of that feeling of reaching out, taking a grasp at the beauty of life  and remembering the past and such.  I do appreciate these moments of silence that Holy Week brings but  my mind is still pregnant with thoughts that I somehow wanted to share but cannot translate  into words. I’ve missed our yearly Visita Iglesia, my son has to report to work  the past two days and I don’t know how to drive so I just visited the nearby church, a few minutes away from the house.

Why do I sometimes torture myself reading something that reminds me of those days when I was having treatments – endless hospital visits, blood tests, chemotherapy and doctor visits? It just happened that the book I recently read deals on how to survive and prepare one’s self for the inevitable. There’s no telling  that no matter how careful you are, at one time in your life, a loved one or a family member becomes a victim too.  But then, the glorious moment of knowing that you will get well and having that gargantuan faith in a loving Creator is more than enough to make you feel that you are truly, truly blessed.

I had a long chat with a friend last night  and we touched on so many issues and things dear to the heart. One such subject that we never get tired of sharing is about our respective families. She has an eight-month old baby girl and I have baby Nate to talk about.  I told her that when my two kids were growing up, I didn’t notice much of their everyday development because I was working. It’s quite different though when you’ve got so much time in your hands and appreciate everything you see and even blog about it. Who knows, if blogging was in vogue thirty years ago, I might have filled up all the empty spaces allowed. I still keep their “love letters”, those small notes that I got to receive every day  taped at our bedroom door, I regret though that we were not able to save most of the pictures of their younger years. Our photo albums were destroyed by typhoon Ondoy and even if those shots were painstakingly dried and restored by my son, some pictures were blurred at the edges.

Happy Easter everyone!

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Morning Thoughts

I sat there waiting

for the morning sunlight.

Then she came and perched atop

our bare avocado tree.

I listened to her sweet rendition -

a tweet, a song probably.

As if sensing that I was watching,

she quickly flew away.

And I was left

With a tepid cup of coffee.

Thinking -

I wish life could be this simple.

No extra baggage to carry.

Just this -

a sweet melodious song

a bird in flight

unmindful of what she left behind

but just enjoying what the morning brings

and what she can find

and discover beyond.

And I sit here

still….

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Gift From The Sea (Part 2)

I can’t help but remember one of  my favorite books Gift From The Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh when I took shot of this wind chime that has been a part of our garden  for so many years now so I am borrowing the title of her book here.

It was  a gift from one of Nissa’s friends. It came from Palawan. When the wind blows, the shells create a sound like someone frying on a hot griddle. And this reminds me so much of  the cowrie sea shells  that I used to play with when I was a child. I actually  bought two  during one of our forays at Dapitan Arcade when I had my treatment a few years ago. Being reminded of childhood even just by a simple cowrie shell  is such a lovely feeling.  Looking at this, there are times when I want to explore the shore and look for some gifts from the sea – more shells to collect, a piece of glass with smooth edges brought about by too many times of playing hide and seek with the tide, some uniquely shaped stones to bring home.  Collecting memories of childhood is one of the best gifts that you could always find  in your heart, the times when you are ignorant of life’s broken dreams because you believed that dreams come true.

Don’t you just love the sound of the wind and the sea when you place a cowrie shell  close to your ear?

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