What Is Real?

“What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?”

“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but Really loves you, then you become Real.”

“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”

“Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”

“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get all loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

I always love reading and re-reading The Velveteen Rabbit, a poignant and deeply touching  story about friendship and love. The book is an endearing and simple story on what love and loving is all about.

What is real in your life?

Read Full Post »

Beyond

We stand here encompassed by winter; the barren trees with their fallen leaves, the silent riverbed. Nothing is more certain in life or nature than death. We accept it as the way of things. Perhaps we are able because we have faith in spring. Yet somehow it seems different to us when death comes early. Much as we might bemoan an early winter, we feel robbed of something due. We feel cheated. Sometimes we rage. And sometimes we blame. And in doing so, we say to God, “My will be done, not Thine,” and we forget about the promise of spring. In the cold of our soul’s winter, we bury our hearts. And when we wonder why it is dark and why we feel alone. and we risk spending so much of our lives occupied with our loss and what we have not, that we forget the beauty of what is and what we still have. And this is sometimes, the greater loss. – richard paul evans

A week ago, I cried at the loss of an online friend who has been a part of my life for the past five years or so. We have known each other exchanging comments and views at our Multiply sites  learning life’s angst and lovely dreams of tomorrow.  Bella was so supportive of me when I underwent chemotherapy around the time we were so active at Multiply. We formed a close group, some of whom I eventually met personally.  Even then, she always said that she had a delicate health, she came home from a teaching job in Thailand  and enjoyed gardening and writing about her thoughts on family life, gardening, love of music and anything that we could touch under the sun. You might wonder, is an online friendship possible?  YES, it is. My only regret is that, I only talked to her once, over the phone, a surprise call which she appreciated very much.  Reading the outpouring of grief and offer of prayers on her wall at Facebook, I realized that when you are not afraid to reach out to people, those same friends would remember you with fondness and love.

Life is short. We always say  that and it is more felt when we lose someone dear to us, the feeling of loneliness is so acute that you recall your own pain and you cry silent tears of goodbye.  Then you begin to see at some inspired moment that you are lucky you’re still alive, well and kicking as they say. You begin to see that life is a life of second chances. You begin to appreciate the things that you somehow take for granted because they are always there at an easy reach.

What makes one happy?  Friends give us that feeling of being special,  more so when they appreciate what we do and what we share. And no matter what mundane things we do, there is always that feeling of joy because our friends accept us as we are and  give us words of encouragement to go on. Happiness depends on our outlook in life. We could choose to be in misery or always to be happy, because in the end, happiness is a choice.

Life is short, value it. Happiness is sometimes fleeting, grab it. Trite as it may sound, the blue sky is just behind the clouds.

 

Read Full Post »

Thoughts on Friendship

Friendship needs no words – it is solitude delivered from the anguish of loneliness. -  Dag Hammarskjöld

I love this shot. It is one of several photos that I took  in Tanay during my first road trip two weeks after my final chemotherapy session almost three years ago. Time flies – but it holds a promise  that no matter how painful it is – life goes on!

Read Full Post »

New Year’s Eve

I am sure you’ll either laugh or just find the title a bit ridiculous blogging about new year when it is not even December yet.  It’s actually the eve of my birthday and I vividly recall what a friend told me before that having another birthday is also a new year of celebration in one’s life.  I could not begin to describe the happiness I felt the past few days when some friends chose to celebrate my birthday early.

Tuesday was one of those days I’ll never forget. I’ve finally met Odette, an online friend  who is also a member of our Catholic page at Facebook. She came over together with two more members of our group. I haven’t seen them for more than a year and it was such a joy to reminisce and talk about, what else, but  our online apostolate. We touched on  the early days of AFCC when Fr. Louie and I were just busy inviting members to join our page. As they say, the rest is history because after more than two years , we now have almost 11,000 members – people who share the same faith and love for God.

I am now a proud owner of a dozen books most of which are on my wish list, six thick journals for my writing (with matching pens to boot)  and other lovely gifts which they brought with them. It is so overwhelming to be showered with all these blessings. I guess those books deserve another blog. I don’t even know which to read first because I like them all.

The day was not enough for all the “kwentuhans”. Just imagine a group of friends just enjoying  each other’s company with home-cooked food to go. It really was a lovely  early birthday celebration.

The following day, we trooped to Saisaki/Kamayan/Dad’s  at SM Megamall to have lunch with other members invited by Odette. We all enjoyed the buffet lunch of course but the company was even better. It felt like we haven’t seen each other for such a long time. We had games  and sharing initiated by Fr. Louie and it was fun. Even Fr. Louie’s mom was game enough to join us.

Fr. Louie and Odette seeing each other at last. See the joys on their faces.

And this sketch of St. Therese is an original artwork by Paul (in red shirt),  professional artist/painter/photographer  in our group. It’s a gift for Odette who is based in the US.  And if that is not enough, he also gave Charlene another sketch. Charlene is a St. Therese devotee so it was really a welcome gift for her.  When they give, they truly give with their hearts.

Here’s one of our group pictures,we were not complete here since some of them haven’t arrived yet.  The highlight (at least for me) was when the group at Saisaki sang a birthday song and two Beatles songs. We were all smiling  when

they could not even recall the exact lyrics of the songs. It was part of the fun though. I didn’t know that Odette bought a birthday cake for me with matching candles to blow. I was so touched I was teary-eyed. Well wishes for health and happiness, I could not ask for more.

And to think, my birthday was two days away when we had our lunch at Saisaki. This is one of the most fun-filled birthday celebrations ever.

Look at our happy faces. Fr. Louie said, “make a wish, make a wish“. I did of course, why not, wishes do come true right? Much as we want to linger and have more fun, the buffet lunch was only open until about 2:30pm. It was all worth it though, seeing each other again was such a blessing!

This is not goodbye, it’s more of “till next time”.

And what a way to celebrate a birthday

Read Full Post »

What Are We But Our Stories?

James Patterson, author of the acclaimed Alex Cross and Women’s Murder Club series writing  a love story? I was quite intrigued.  I was so used reading mysteries and fast-paced action by this author and was quite pleasantly surprised that he could also write a heart-wrenching, touching and emotional love story  like Sam’s Letters to Jennifer. An uplifting tale of friendship (between a grandmother and her granddaughter), love between childhood friends and our own  mortality and that of our  loved ones. This book shows that life is too precious not to live it to the fullest even at its darkest moments. I won’t attempt to write a review here.It is simply one great summer read.

One line in the book says, “what are we but our stories?”

Read Full Post »

I Love Surprises

Gosh, I was like “oh, oh, where have you been” upon seeing the faces of my three friends two of whom I’ve last seen almost a year ago. And to think this is the first time that they came over here at the house to visit me.

Thank God for surprises! When He tickles you with one, He makes sure that it is really something you will treasure, maybe long after the laughter, the giggles and endless smiles are gone.  Yesterday was another day “worth-remembering”.  That’s really my favorite line, the worth-remembering people, events and surprises in my life. There are moments when you just look up and say a prayer or two that He is giving you another beautiful day to put in the treasure chest of your memories.

Yesterday was such a lovely day spent with friends from my Catholic apostolate group, the Apostles Filipino Catholic Community.  It all started about two years ago when Fr. Louie  Coronel, OP created an online page at Facebook. AFCC has actually been in existence  as a Catholic organization in Rome for the last twenty years. We cater to the global Pinoys and share reflections, news, ideas, and ways of strengthening our Faith and our own journeys as Catholics.  We finally met some of the members  in two successive gatherings  last year at Bahay Dominiko, Sto. Domingo Church in Quezon City. Meeting face to face, realizing that they were not just names and pictures on Facebook was awesome.  Truly, God works in wondrous ways.  Forming friendship with people younger than you are, (they could be your sons and daughters) sharing their own spiritual journeys in life, sharing their own pain with you and  sharing their thoughts and aspirations are clear affirmations  that everything is possible when you look together and look forward in  the same direction. Friendship is a lovely thing, don’t you think?

Imagine six hours of sharing and laughter, talking about anything under the sun, touching on such serious subjects like life’s travails and  journeys  and yes, we even touched on subjects  like the stock market and how it works, life in a bank as an employee,  life of a OFW,  photography, faith, and places we want to explore and dream of visiting – they are an eclectic mix of topics alright.

We had a yummy lunch of grilled pork steak, roasted chicken, grilled liempo, sautéed mixed veggies and the ginataang santol which I cooked earlier. Reymon, Joan and Lilet said that this is the first time they have tasted santol cooked as a dish. It went well with the grilled meat. I jokingly asked them, “Did I pass?” and Reymon laughingly  answered,“Wow, ang sarap po Mommy.” Late in the afternoon, we harvested calamansi in the backyard for Lilet to take home.  It was such a joy seeing them enjoying themselves  picking calamansi despite the afternoon shower which turned into a heavy downpour before they left.

Oh, the joys of meeting and hugging each other, and smiling at the thought of shared jokes remembered – what a lovely gift – having friends!  And I’d like to end this blog with these words for they briefly describe what friendship is all about. It was written by Dinah Maria (Mulock) Craik.

Oh, the comfort –
The inexpressible comfort of feeling
safe with a person,
Having neither to weigh thoughts,
Nor measure words — but pouring them
All right out — just as they are –
Chaff and grain together –
Certain that a faithful hand will
Take and sift them –
Keep what is worth keeping –
and with the breath of kindness
Blow the rest away.

Read Full Post »

Weekly Photo Challenge: Friendship

I actually have lots of materials for this topic, pictures of friends that go back almost forty years – high school classmates, college chums and former office mates who have become close friends over the years but I prefer something like this  – a symbolic picture of what friendship is all about, reaching out and slowly getting to know someone you can call a friend in the end.

Read Full Post »

Weekly Photo Challenge: Hands

I remember taking this shot at a  casual get-together with some high school classmates at Shakey’s Espana, in front of UST where we finished high school. Those bracelets were gifts from one of our classmates who makes jewelry as  a hobby. I do remember the laughter, the camaraderie, the game I posted at Facebook if they could recognize whose hands and arms  are in the picture.  Cherished memories, lovely thoughts shared!

Read Full Post »

Lovely Saturday, Quiet Sunday

It’s been a long time, literally, that is! For the past few days, all I came up for a blog were one and two-liner features that made it to my most read list, just the same.  Anyway, I just thought of updating you all with the weekend I had.

Yesterday, I met a friend way back in college and I remember that the last time we had lunch together was a year ago. Although we get to text each other once in a while, it is always a welcome change to chat, giggle, reminisce, hold hands  and cry a little while drinking hot tea and making the big effort of finishing off the Shabu-Shabu plate she ordered at Gloriamaris  Restaurant at Gateway Mall.  Would you believe that we’ve been through the same predicaments and problems in life (not in the same degree probably) while counting the years being cancer survivors?  I’ve always said that the best people who would truly understand what you’ve  been through and what you are presently undergoing are those who are on the same road with you and traveling the same journey. Precy, a friend for almost forty years now is one such gracious and caring lady who is ready to help – a shoulder to cry on, a sister, family and all.

We attended a seminar on health and healing at  Noble Life International (Phils.) They develop and market organic healing foods endorsed by world-renowned medical researchers and doctors.  Their products are used by doctors and medical professionals as food therapy. Yesterday I learned a lot from one of their guest speakers, a neurosurgeon.  For the past three months,  Precy has been taking these  all-natural supplementary food medicines and she says that they really help in her recovery as a breast-cancer survivor. Having such toxic elements in your body as a result of six cycles of chemotherapy makes you so wary of eating unhealthy food. I’ve been so careful of my diet since I was diagnosed of stage three colon cancer almost three years ago. And again this brings me to some friends asking, “how can you talk freely about your illness and what you’ve been through?” Well, having a light-threatening disease is not the end of it as some people perceive it to be. It’s true, you have to go through the drastic measures of treatments, surgery, chemotherapy, radiation and all but I am of the thought that sharing it through my blogs would somehow ease the pain for someone out there undergoing the same health problems as I am. And I feel happy that in my own little way, I am  doing a bit of helping these people cope. It’s the reason why I put up this blog in the first place.

Nissa and Obet came over yesterday to have dinner with us!  They brought with them ingredients for a yummy dinner, pork sinigang in guava.  And Obet could cook, we let him labor in the kitchen, churning out a tasty and indeed yummy sinigang sa bayabas. It was a lovely Saturday, alright:) And I had the chance to see the photos forwarded by their official wedding photographers. They haven’t chosen yet what to put in the official album from around 2,000 photos which will be narrowed down to about 150 at the most. I suggested that we have the candid shots printed and have them made into one lovely family album, after all, it’s not every day that your one and only daughter gets married:) .

It was a quiet Sunday and I almost cried listening to Fr. Leo’s homily today!

Read Full Post »

Ramblings

I am re-posting this  because it exactly echoes what I feel at the moment, the trying times of seeking answers and finding everything jumbled.  I wrote this more than two years ago. I am glad though of having friends around who care, praying for me every step of the way.

I remember an old friend who used to say, “The journey to life is an endless struggle on  perilous paths of treacherous stones and storms”. For one so young he surely looked at the world with open eyes and between the two of us, I was more of the dreamer than he was.  I had this penchant for collecting quotes from almost every book that comes into my hands,  filling up three full notebook of quotations my entire college life. He was really a big influence to me -  appreciating  good poetry, good books and  yes, quotes that somehow played a big chunk of what I called my “sentimental” moments.

“Live the dream”, he would  say. I do. I did. And I like to think that somehow, in between wakefulness and dreamland, life was real. Why am I remembering?  Why the sudden recall?  Or is this one of those moments that makes  one wander far beyond, going far off to a place of childhood dreams?  I really don’t know.  I just saw the place where we used to walk and talk, and dream about big things that only the young would think of  and I suddenly pictured his smiling face, creating a sense of sudden longing. Memories sometimes have that power to make one lonely and alone.

I would have liked to share that I am going through a phase in my life full of so much pain. But I can hear his voice saying,  “Life is never perfect”. And he would understand.  And I would tell him that I am brave enough to face it all.

How true, life is never perfect and when you expect too much from it, you’ll just be disappointed.  Special thanks to my ever thoughtful friends Lovell, Lilet and Fr. Louie, thanks a lot for listening!

 

Read Full Post »