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honey-amber-sea-glass-and-tiny-pebbles-and-seashells

I hold it in the palm of my hand

And I wonder how many beaches it has traveled

Or how many times it  was  washed up

by the angry burst of noontide.

I wonder, has it ever reached your shore?

Time has perfected its shape

But it never stays in one place.

It goes with the tide and roll with the waves

And place itself where I could see it

glistening in the sand.

Now you ask what love is -

I don’t know.

Maybe, just like this sea glass

It would show itself when you’re not looking

Maybe, just like this sea glass

It would come glistening on your footpath.

But you will never recognize it

Because your heart has turned to stone.

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A friend who is an avid Facebook user asked me once why I am not using the networked blogging platform of  FB. Although I am an avid Facebook user too, because my religious friends and I have a page to update, I am still not convinced  that it is wise to share all your thoughts in such a chaotic world like Facebook. There is that hesitant feeling that my blog won’t be safe if I announce  it to the whole world that I blog at  WordPress.  I know, I know, you might say that the latter is public too and anybody would be able to find you, right? I just feel protected using this blogging platform than anywhere else.  If  Facebook is a game, they are forever changing the rules. It’s either you delete your account or stay on the sidelines.  I still link some posts though but they are limited to my friends. I am not after the number of viewers who visit my blog, I’d rather have a meaningful exchanges of comments with fellow bloggers who truly appreciate what I write.  Same holds true with each post that I like and each blogger that I follow. I may not always leave comments but I appreciate what they share.  Less than a month from now, I’ll be celebrating my 4th year into blogging. I celebrate the date that I posted my first blog and not the time when I bravely opened an account at  WordPress, not knowing how to go about it and it took me more than a year to have the courage to update my blog here. It is not easy to share your thoughts to everyone, it is not easy to open yourself to people you don’t know from Adam but the nicest feeling comes when someone says, he/she is inspired by what you share.

I wouldn’t know how long it would take me to blog and find words to express my thoughts, I wouldn’t know how long it would take me to snap those pics that I share here but then, the feeling of fulfillment that I get is reward enough. Looking back, I just could not believe that I have posted about 1,204 entries at Dreams and Escapes and  around 240 entries at  my three other blogs that I have here. Dreams and Escapes has quietly reached 194,931 views as of this writing.  My heartfelt “thank you” from all of you.

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smiley-face

Happiness is a choice. Always choose to be happy.

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IMG_4397

I sat there waiting

for the morning sunlight.

Then she came and perched atop

our bare avocado tree.

I listened to her sweet rendition -

a tweet, a song probably.

As if sensing that I was watching,

she quickly flew away.

And I was left

With a tepid cup of coffee.

Thinking -

I wish life could be this simple.

No extra baggage to carry.

Just this -

a sweet melodious song

a bird in flight

unmindful of what she left behind

but just enjoying what the morning brings

and what she can find

and discover beyond.

And I sit here

still….

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I must really be getting old. No, let me amend that, I am definitely growing older. And I always think that growing older is always getting wiser with age. Got this throbbing headache  that won’t go away or maybe it is just a sign of normal wear and tear. I was exchanging texts with a friend  yesterday  (we are both cancer survivors) and I told her, I easily get tired nowadays  and I need to catch up on my siesta every day. Make that an hour or more instead of the usual thirty minutes shuteye that I used to have. She told me she underwent Zometa infusion just last week.   Her doctor advised her to have it when she had a recent bone scan. And I thought, I am not going back to the hospital just to learn that you need more series of tests despite the fact that you are now living a normal life being a survivor. The last time I found out that everything was back to normal, including my CEA marker, I left everything to God. He will take care of me because He gave me a second chance. Living in faith and believing in God’s will.

I spent  part of the morning reading articles by Barbara Gonzales. For the past years, I’ve followed her writings under her byline called Second  Wind every Sunday. I like how she touches on her hobbies, writing and how she get on with life despite living alone. She said that one of her favorite books is Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy written by Sarah Ban Breathnach.  I can’t help but smile at the thought that it is one of my favorite books too. When I am feeling so low, this book always gives me a lift. She always put her contact number at the end of her posts so I tried getting in touch and wrote:

Read your article with interest Ms. Barbara. Re: Simple Abundance. I have that book  too for several years now. It’s like a daily bible  for women like us. I even blog about it from time to time. I am a cancer survivor. It’s the reason why I keep a blog because I have this dream of inspiring people through my journey, that life is even more meaningful when God gives you a second chance. Thank you for your nice articles, I am a fan.

She texted back and said thank you. One other writer that I admire is Lucy  Torres. I don’t care much about her political career but I love how she shares her thoughts and family life  in Love Lucy at Philippine Star. Somehow, every time I read her posts, I always get the feeling that she is a close friend, the way she talks about anything under the sun.  Reading her posts also makes me feel that she is writing about my own experiences in life, they’re closer to home, so to speak.

Having no internet connection for the past several days gave me the chance to watch a little TV and catch up on my reading. I watched Maid in Manhattan a few days ago  (for the nth time). I am in the middle of reading Exile by Richard North Patterson, a thick book on Israel’s history as background.  Now I understand why the Jews and Palestinians don’t see eye to eye.

How was your day?

 

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IMG_2182-1

Sometimes, there is that nostalgic longing for a place you’ve been to…..just once . There’s a tug at the heart that says, will I ever visit this place again? Will I ever know how it’s like to walk those hills and commune with the wild flowers, smell the earth beneath and wonder where those clouds will go? There is something there that makes you think of long ago days – the dreams you held in your heart but never materialized, the days you thought that happiness and joy are forever things that make  life so meaningful. You think of the missed opportunities, the what-ifs, the might have been, the regrets and love lost in between.  You think how times flies  and leaves you breathless because once it’s gone, it comes back either as a pleasant memory or an event you’d  rather not dwell on.

Hello February, what have you got in store for me?

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This is the best thing ever. Not that  I would let WordPress take a backseat  because it now occupies a special place in my heart and my time but knowing that my site at Multiply is still alive and yes, everything is intact, is like winning in a small-town lottery. Earlier on, I thought that everything I posted there from October 2007 until about three  years later is gone just like what happened to Friendster. When I visited it yesterday though, my photo albums, music videos, CD uploads (I used to upload entire CD albums from my collections) favorite links, recipes are still there. Take that to mean a big smile  :) from me. And the main reason why I am a little sentimental about it is, it was there that I learned the rudiments of blogging. And every blog that I did at that site was precious to me. I hope,  they would let it stay that way. We could no longer use it as social networking site but we could retain it  as is.

Kudos Multiply! I could listen to my favorite music albums while blogging here at WordPress. Thank you, thank you!

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Not long ago, two years to be exact, I blogged about these men on two wheels that ply Metro Manila in droves nowadays. Kindly click  this link  so you’ll know  what I am talking about.

In our more than seventeen years of stay here in our subdivision, this is the first time that our security (my family and I) was threatened by a crazed-gun-toting man who calls himself “police”   as if the mere mention of the word would scare the living daylights out of you instead of protecting you from  the harmful elements of the society. Do you think this is normal? Or maybe it  has become the norm in our world instead that these men exist. Evil lurks everywhere. I am not writing about this to scare everyone, rather it’s just to make you aware that  there are people out there who earn their keeps by doing something unacceptable and scary at most. You’re no longer safe even in your own homes or right in front of it. Generally, our place is peaceful, our immediate neighbors are like extended family to us and some of them are nodding acquaintances who we all know by face. What happened last night though makes me think otherwise.

My son was on his way home last night at around 8:15pm (still early), just about a few meters away from our front gate when he was accosted by a man in a motorcycle and asked him if he has seen a boy who allegedly snatched a  cellphone.  Their exact conversation  was:

“May nakita ka bang bata na tumakbo rito, nag-agaw ng cellphone?” The man was on a motorbike wearing a dark helmet. My son answered “wala eh” at the same time went on his way to our gate. Then the man said “police ako” and repeated the same question and asked where he lives. My son pointed to our house which is right behind them. Then he asked to see his cellphone and my son showed it to him. He snatched it at the same time pointing a gun at him and a few seconds later fired the gun he was holding into the air. There is a sari-sari store right next to our house  and someone saw what happened. The latter recalled that the supposed “police”   shouted  “takbo”   so even the bystander ran for cover. To cut the story short, the security team of our subdivision arrived and later a police and some of the officers of our village association. Earlier on, they told us that someone was also victimized in  the town proper and they  ran after  the motorcycle riding hold-upper.  And one  of the security officers said that it  has been the usual story told by previous victims of snatching in other Rizal towns in  the past two years. My question is,  why is the gunman still at large? Based on the description of the  bystander, it seemed that it was the same individual who did the firing. My son was not able to recognize his face because he wore a  dark helmet.  The thing is, one of our neighbors in the next street joined us and asked, “dito po ba galing yung putok ng baril?” Everyone answered in the affirmative. He said further that the bullet passed through the plywood covering the vacant aircon  unit  in their bedroom and their baby was there inside. Good thing, the baby’s toys cushioned the impact of the slug. What if the bullet pierced the glass windows of their bedroom, it might have hurt the child.  The moment I heard this, I felt like I was walking on air.  It was too much  to hear that an innocent baby could have been hurt.

We see violence every day on television or hear it over the radio but when  you are the victim, it’s a different story. I urge everyone to be cautious always in their surroundings  and when they see suspicious-acting men in bikes.  Most accidents that are reported nowadays  are  on motorbikes. I have nothing against people who use this type of conveyance but there are  riders  out there who use them for victimizing innocent  people.

I also urge our subdivision officers and security personnel to strictly impose “no helmet” policy inside the subdivision when they let passersby access our roads.  I urge my fellow  homeowners to be alert all the time and report any incident that affects our security as a whole. May this be a lesson to all of us that we should not be complacent even if we are familiar with a place, we’ll never know when something like this happens again.  The scenario keeps playing in my head.  It’s quite different when you are divested of your belongings like cellphones  but to be threatened by a gun?

What is happening to the world?

PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SHARE.

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death

Life is never felt more alive as when it is staring at you in the face of death

and you gather your thoughts wishing  you’d be given one more day, one more life to live

and when nothing is left but the dying embers

you gather your memories and wish they could stay forever in your thoughts.

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In the three years that I’ve been blogging at WordPress, I have always posted month-ender blogs and year-end assessments of what transpired throughout the year. Have I been lazy? Have I been negligent? No to both questions of course.  I was just overwhelmed by the flow of events that I clearly forgot to make an honest to goodness blog out of it. Next thing I knew 2012 is gone and here comes 2013.

The beginning of 2012 , January particularly is something I like to forget, if one could do so with so much pain associated with it. Let’s just say, it’s all buried now and I don’t want to be affected by it. Overall though, 2012 was a good year for us – my kids and I.  Lovell was ordained into priesthood last November 07, 2012 and it was a lovely gift from God – the gift of priesthood. I was also able to witness his first Thanksgiving Mass held in UST  last November 25, 2012. Dreams fulfilled, prayers answered  and several years of perseverance coming into fruition. It seems that November would always be a special month for us from now on because my first grandchild was born on November 22, 2012. Although he stayed at the hospital for three weeks due to sepsis, I thank God for the miracle of life. He is the greatest binding force to us now. Babies always give us that indescribable joy that could never be quantified. I am happy for my daughter who embraced motherhood with so much anticipation and joy. The gift of motherhood is another lovely gift that God willingly gives  to all lovely mothers in this world.  The year 2012 ended with our baby Nate’s christening last December 29, 2012 at Sto. Niño de Tondo Parish.  I used to post pictures of the recap of the year but since I now have my blog about Nate, I guess it would be a little redundant to do it.

2012 was also a year of meeting new friends and having them come over for short gatherings at home. I will always be grateful for my AFCC (Apostles Filipino Catholic  Community) apostolate. Being inspired and inspiring others  in one’s own little way is such a great feeling. And meeting new friends is part of it.  My prayers for 2013  would always be good health for the whole family and friends and  peace of mind. He knows what we need so I’ll just say, Thank You Lord for all these blessings.

I  subscribed to this lovely site called Meet Me In the Meadow, an inspirational blog that I read regularly. I was particularly touched by this  post by Roy Lessin so I am sharing it here. I am sure he would not mind because he is touching souls with his reflections. I have the same wish too for all of you.

1.1.13-New-Year

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