I am re-posting this because it exactly echoes what I feel at the moment, the trying times of seeking answers and finding everything jumbled. I wrote this more than two years ago. I am glad though of having friends around who care, praying for me every step of the way.
I remember an old friend who used to say, “The journey to life is an endless struggle on perilous paths of treacherous stones and storms”. For one so young he surely looked at the world with open eyes and between the two of us, I was more of the dreamer than he was. I had this penchant for collecting quotes from almost every book that comes into my hands, filling up three full notebook of quotations my entire college life. He was really a big influence to me – appreciating good poetry, good books and yes, quotes that somehow played a big chunk of what I called my “sentimental” moments.
“Live the dream”, he would say. I do. I did. And I like to think that somehow, in between wakefulness and dreamland, life was real. Why am I remembering? Why the sudden recall? Or is this one of those moments that makes one wander far beyond, going far off to a place of childhood dreams? I really don’t know. I just saw the place where we used to walk and talk, and dream about big things that only the young would think of and I suddenly pictured his smiling face, creating a sense of sudden longing. Memories sometimes have that power to make one lonely and alone.
I would have liked to share that I am going through a phase in my life full of so much pain. But I can hear his voice saying, “Life is never perfect”. And he would understand. And I would tell him that I am brave enough to face it all.
How true, life is never perfect and when you expect too much from it, you’ll just be disappointed. Special thanks to my ever thoughtful friends Lovell, Lilet and Fr. Louie, thanks a lot for listening!